Thoughts

suddenly

suddenly you're this person, this 'adult'

and suddenly you're talking to younger persons

the way you remember grown-ups

talking to you when you were a kid

and it's all happening so fast

and it's all so scary and unknown

 

and suddenly you feel proud about your job

(even though it's nothing like you ever imagined)

even though the unfulfilled dreams of

what you originally 'wanted' to do

is all that fills your sleepy head at night

and sometimes you have nightmares

about never doing anything good

or artistic or honest

but they leave your mind as soon as you wake up

 

and sometimes suddenly you wonder what you're doing here

why are you setting an alarm

why are you checking your email

why are you dressing up for that meeting

why are you mixing too much sugar into your coffee

 

this isn't 'it'

this isn't anything

 

sometimes suddenly you remember those nightmares

sometimes all the caffiene you consume leaves you nauseous

sometimes you get sad and it makes no sense

to anyone else but you

 

and you want to run

and maybe hide

mostly just so the nightmares will stop

but also because you know you have

something to contribute

but you just

don't know what it is yet

Her Perspective

I found a girl, and saw her perspective
Silent, yet surprisingly reflective
They claimed she was away, entirely defective

But I knew otherwise just from the look in her eyes
I saw through the silent, and closed off disguise


And from there, I saw the immediate connection
Completely dissected, but still searches for true affection

 

Her warm, yet crooked emotion
A calmed, yet broken devotion

 

Silent, but struggling for her sound
and yet, still not a face found

 

Her skin torn, gone and rotten.
Her mouth stolen, words lost, ignored and forgotten.

 

She was exposed to all of the morbid things
Corrupted lies, and uneven broken wings

 

All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew

 

And she left sudden, without a word,
Her existence she seen was too blurred

 

Before I could realize, she was gone and done
Did you ever wonder what life can become?

 

All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew..

Enter My Fear

All of the welcoming emotion suddenly dies.
and the darkness shrouds the land in only misery's cries.

 

Enter grief!
A timeless ocean. 
Trapped of despair, trapped without relief
Enter the moon!
Endless racing of the thoughts.
Including you alone, trapped dead inside an empty room

The dead is holding you stiff once more!
Staring into your eyes, never have you felt so gone before

The time comes again, to pit against all that is you
Will you ever find the part of you that is actually true?

Paint the sky bleak
Consider everything we cannot speak

The one painting with the sun I painted as a child is lost.
Reality has broken the barrier, this is the ultimate cost



 

What It Is

I feel like every single thing is like a mind game,  played and laid out for me

I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see

 

What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?

Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?

 

I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon

What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong

 

and now there is blood all over my hand

But I have no idea why, I just don't understand

 

This is a complication called the human mind

Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind

 

To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame

For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame

 

Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose

It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.

 

So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor

I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door

 

And you can echo your goodbyes

as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..

I Have an Unknown Friend

I have an unknown friend, who lives in the sky

Why I question him, I do not know why

I should not go to look for him, they say

But I know he'll want to look for me someday

I wonder, I ponder, even as I sleep

I dare not awake, for I have gone too deep

But again, the sun calls to another abrupt wake

Alone again, to find an answer for my sake

I take another step foward, for this I will fight

Forever wrapped in this question, how it echoes through the burning light








What is Okay?

Tell me, is it ever really "Okay?"

At times I wish I could disappear, away from the day.

 

Tell me, was it really all a mystery?

Or was I really something plagued by history?

Judge me, try to reason my scars,

Yet, were you there for  my unreasonable wars?

 

Did you ever set foot in my shoes?

Taken account of what brings the blues?

 

Tell me, does it really matter?

If I was any more the sadder?

Perhaps it's just my business, only my trouble.

Not another place to intrude into my bubble.

I'll solve my self alone, and myself alone only

Not for you to break my silence, maybe tonight, I'd just like to be lonely.

 

Blame my shortcomings for my scars if you dare.

For me, it just occurred, the past isn't something I ever chose to wear.

Where's there's a heart there's no mercy

 

can hear my heart ache under the strain of a million thoughts..all pleading to escape, or move, or do whatever they do.

Is it to be happy, to find peace?  No they ellude peace, hunkering down, with all of their legs, laying eggs to hatch tomorrow or the next day.

Waiting for you to sit and find calmness. Hoping to disturb. It needs to burst.  

There's not enough room in that heart to contain all of the pain... How did it fill so full.. soo young, so often?

Each time feeling like the last, but only preparing for the rest to come.  Please ask it to spill, to release, not expand for others to begin.

The constant piercing has to end but that dream stays distant as a sunset running into the darkness.

If only I could catch up, hold on and wrap my arms around... It would feel sooo good, to find the peace .......do you hear it...?

The knocking... Their trying to escape.. It's about to begin... again....

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endless thoughts

Thinking through thoughts I thought of thinking through.

Though, thinking through thoughtless thoughts is thought to be thinking thoughtfully.

So thoughtfully, I'm thoughtfully thinking through thoughtless thoughts thought to be thoughtless only to think of more thoughtful thoughts. Only thinking through thoughtless thoughts can more thoughtful thoughts be thought.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I hope this brought a smile to your face Smile

Thoughts Like Waves

The fears that threaten,

To face one's life,

On terms not one's own,

Can bring euphoria, strife,

Or a wild combination,

Like a key to a lock,

It can either move mountain,

Or leave one in utter shock.

 

Your stars...how they twinkle...

Your dimples...how merry...

Oh "Tides of the Heavens",

Don't leave life in such a hurry,

For there's so many things,

That you won't and can never know,

But believe me my love,

You will be back, should you choose to go.

 

For life is a circle,

No beginning, no end,

And living in truth,

Your whole being shall mend,

Temporary chaos,

Can seem very wrought,

On a soul who can't seem to undo

What they've thought---

 !!!!!!

Was the truth.

 !!!!!!

With that, 

Change comes tumbling down,

Then, in the blink of an eye,

Your smiles turn upside down.

 *****

We all live with threats daily,

This not new to us,

Soon you just reach a point,

Where it's not worth the fuss

*****

To be angry or vengeful,

Or feed into some dare,

Where your life is, is here,

Not your thoughts over there.

 

....

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

Just a poem. We all think things. 

Just sometimes we may 

not have the skills or awareness

to use the power to 

let things go, as letting go

In the mind is what is important. 

Then moving on is very easy,

Even if there is changes we must live with.

 

The thoughts come in...

The thoughts roll out.

Like the "tides" of post poems... 

And waves of emotion,

Hold onto your whitecaps,

Life can be a rough ocean!!

 

Inspiration:

 

http://www.postpoems.org/authors/astral_tides/poem/971815#comment-417755

 

...

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