unknown

How, And Why?

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It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.

Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would. 
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't. 

I appreciate and love you for that.

I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found. 
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.

Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.

Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.

Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?

 

 

I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical. 
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?

And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see. 
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you. 
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?

 

Silence

There, there in the graveyard was Silence,

No, not Peace, just not Violence.

 

Anger and Torment had left, but Silence had remained,

For what had happened, only Silence had been gained.

 

Silence had hung around,

Just hanging there, starring at the ground.

 

Silence was not old, but was among them now,

Silence was there, tied to the bough.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Haven't written anything in quite a while, feedback and comments welcome! 

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Subliminal Message

Poems are the path to inner peace.

Are the mind and soul aligned?
 
The test to re-write  my own
path through past in future.
 
To tempt ones own fate with 
inner radiance beaconing 
peace and light.
 
Walk with me hand in hand
down through all 
my fears and dreams by 
path made way by time.
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Crawling

You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert

You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun

and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay






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And 10,000 Miles Left in Question

Gone and running in an irreversible tension
And 10,000 miles left in question
Of ideas we just forget to mention

And the thoughts are left in the dark and disappear
and in comes walking, the unavoidable fear
A unknown direction, a road we somehow got sucked in to steer

Trying to take calm within the unpredictable shadows
Take control of your senses and dodge your arrows
and forget all of the anxiousness that somehow follows





Author's Notes/Comments: 

I was on the bus and the beginning part just clicked in my head,

The rest I came up within a few minutes.

A Breeze of Memory

A graveyard of dead trees

Fallen leaves of vast red and orange seas

Squirrels scurry before winter strikes

As children play while others pass on bikes

 

harmony of the trees an the wind come together and sing

As a bird chirps then stops to clean it's wing

Children shrieking and screaming as they play

Angry armies of cars roar past, then fly away

 

Memories start of when I was a kid

Only broken away by time an what it did

Sitting still only in question

Of who I am and to what is my impression

 

I laughed . . . I played here

I was happy unknown of fear

But then reality again breaks memory's connection

Only to be lost again, still unknown of my reflection

 
Like
 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

annnd, here you have yet another class assignment that I did way back.

 

??? Who Am I Now?

Once was a

free-spirited child.

 

I ran on all fours

like Spirit* and Rain*,

galloping through the grass,

soaring over sidewalks.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

I could run around naked

without a care in the world.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

The world was mine,

and I was invincible!

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

But now, I am....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'd like to know what you guys think of this... I have been writing it for some time now...

I also don't know 100% about the title.... open to suggestions!

 

*From the movie Spirit

I Have an Unknown Friend

I have an unknown friend, who lives in the sky

Why I question him, I do not know why

I should not go to look for him, they say

But I know he'll want to look for me someday

I wonder, I ponder, even as I sleep

I dare not awake, for I have gone too deep

But again, the sun calls to another abrupt wake

Alone again, to find an answer for my sake

I take another step foward, for this I will fight

Forever wrapped in this question, how it echoes through the burning light








Tempting

When, where, who, what

I already know the rest
Dreams come and go
Crushes are put to bed
The unknown lying in the future 
Would you ask if you had the chance ? 
Take a look... What harm could be done 
Discover all in a glimpse 
Tempt you! Urge you! Dare you! 
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