lies

Breakup

Folder: 
Love

Falsehoods and lies

Truth in disguise

Whispers comprise

A doubt in my heart

 

Blinding my eyes

Sorrow and sighs

Darkness will rise

My world falls apart

To lie and live

To live is to lie

To lie is to fall

To fall from grace

Is the greatest life of all

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The Bouttonniere and Corsage

Folder: 
Poems

I'm walking by a place,

A place that has lost its reason to walk by.

Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.

I do recall the times i was here,

the joy and cause I had to visit here.

But its not those reasons that make me low.

Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.

It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.

The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been

The smiles that could have been.

 

Now instead I walk falsely,

to make light of what weighs heavy.

To make light of what weighs heavy.

I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,

work a little harder; work a little too hard.

Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,

Smile a little too much.

To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.

I tried?

I tried to find the way to go, I tried to find the road to hope, I tried so hard that I got lost. I tried searching for my sole as I feel like I ain't got one. 

 

Who's fault is it? who's to blame? Me that's who?

 

Listening to all the lies people tell you. Controlling your life from a young age, always telling you what you can and not do, that's there way! 

 

making you believe in a religion from young so you get used to believing that God will help you. Ain't till you realise that all you have got in life, you have got it yourself. That's when you become more self-aware of life's doings. 

 

 

You become a god walking a world that he and only himself controls with his mind. But for some people they choose the easy way out and try to hide, praying on there hands and knees to a god in the sky. The truth is that the world is a big lie a big disguise, only you can un- mask the truth within your life.  


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If I Were President

IF I WERE PRESIDENT

 

His plan to run for president is to trick them into thinking he’s the best they can get. 

 

His campaign call is to build a wall, claiming without it, the country will fall. 

 

He sings a song to lock the doors, with a refrain that says, "Let in no more".

 

However, give the key to those who look like me.

He says, that campaign will work for me.

 

He’ll plant no seeds of hope and care, but place acres and acres of tares and despair.

 

Adding to his song a chorus:

“The way to maintain peace, is to ban the Middle East"

A catchy phrase that's bound to amaze.

 

Keep them singing and they will miss the true meaning.

When the singing stops, he will have done his part, and found his seat where Barack use to sleep. 

 

The hell with trade, listen to him and we've got it made. 

The way to win the race is to point fingers, and claim disgrace.

 

Experience and accomplishment does not a president make.

It's all about the money; don't you get that yet?

 

It's slight of hand and misdirection.

To the Oval Office is where he’s meant.

Make no mistake he’s headed in that direction.

An investment in his own future is the end in all of this.

 

If a few of you can sing his song and follow along, jump on the bandwagon and sing the daylong.

If you don't know the words, fake it, it’s usually how he makes it.

 

Just remember one simple trick, pick a group, doesn't matter who, make them the bad guy, doesn't matter if it's true.

It's good to have to deflect off of you.

Add them to the song and keep singing along, with a catchy beat, he will never meet defeat.

Please lock the door behind you! 

Betrayal

Verse 1:
If you tell me that

You don't care about us

About today, tomorrow, and the future

Then I won't care about us either.

 

Chorus:
All the lies you've fed me

Made me cold and indifferent.

With a blacken heart,

I move on without you.

 

Verse 2:
I betray myself

To fulfill your expectations.

Quietly, lightly, I won't care about afterwards

As long as you are happy.

 

Bridge:
Rain falls down the rooftops

Falling down the window panes

Of my dreams.

I let you go.

 

Last-Chorus:
I've come to realize

That life is much better off

Once you are gone.

Farewell, my lover. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song I just wrote today about a narcissistic partner/lover who ended up breaking you but setting you up to find someone better than them in the long run that is worthy/deserving of the love you have to offer him/her. It goes both ways.

Roses in the Devil's Garden (day 30)

I hear whistles, vivid, perfect

lovely laughs in the walkways

Captivated by this garden

can’t tear away my gaze

 

The roses bend so easily

to a simple stranger’s will

Broken petals on the pavement

I’m unsuspecting still

 

Splashes of blinding white

among the deep bloodred,

should have somehow warned me

about all the lies you said

 

The devil’s garden told me

to walk on alone with you

The devil’s roses fooled me,

bitter liquid smelled like truth

 

But the roses sing to me

with a tempting breeze

I can’t recall these stories

because no one would tell me

 

Now everything is covered in

a layer of beautiful deceit,

thorns in my throat,

gagging on the sickly sweet

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/30/16

Roses in the devil's garden

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Straight Lies

When He was 18 

Went to his mom to confess 

Mom I think I'm  gay 

Love thinking  of suck dick 

Dream about one after another 

From Sunup till forever 

Staying on my  knees never getting up 

So ill amputate my feet 

Donate  them to an amputee 

Not one to be wasteful 

1 time after a  face full 

Called his father who answered just to scream 

Don't call me you fag 

Then the familiar sound of the phone hitting the ground followed 

Starts laughing 

Cause this happens every time he calls 

$600 his dad has spent on replacements 

His mother goes to interrupt he cuts her off 

Mom there's more 

I'm addicted to gay porn 

To the point I seen everyone 

Now I watch straight and my stomach turns seeing the girl 

Would've told you sooner but I didn't want you to be like dad 

Your all I got 

But I been busting nuts for years staring at men's butts 

One day , and this bad 

But I almost raped the mailman 

Only thing that stopped me was 

I was getting off to Slater in his trunks while cursing Jessie and kelly 

Hope I haven't let you down 

I hope you still love me 

I hope .... She cuts him off 

With a long strong  embrace 

 Few tears falling down her face 

Love whoever you want 

Be with anyone you choose 

I'll always want what I always wanted for you 

Just to be happy 

You have never disappointed me 

Until now 

Remember those nights when you was 5 I sat and held you to calm you after your father left you 

The anger you had at 13 and took out on me 

The lost time we had cause of the 2 jobs I had in order for us to make it 

But most important 

Don't you remember anything  I taught you

If you did you wouldn't be sitting here telling this story 

It's a good one and if I wasn't so hurt I would make you prove this 

And using me knowing I'll die fighting for you 

This ain't your first lie but it's by far the worst you could've told

Not only willing to walk away from them 

but 

Now I'm seeing what I always been afraid of

You being like him 

She came by today to let you know in person 

Being you quit taking her calls 

But you were gone 

So she told me to tell you 

Don't worry she's not pregnant 

But now what bothers me more is 

What if she was 

 

 

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Final Stage

Disgust, anger, fear, denial, reason, acceptance, denial, acceptance, effort, total acceptance, disappointment, release, rebuilding. 

 

My love for myself must far exceeded all the misguided love I put in you. 

You were my happy space, my blue sky, my lover, and my confidant. 

But I wasn't your jack of all trades in love. 

For so long you were more important than me, to me. 

Then you hit the eject button on our roller coaster of love.  

To my rose colored glasses just as we were getting to another straight. 

In front of me, a hard, I meaneed diamond to safety scissors hard place. 

Behind me, the rock that held Excalibur. 

I had my hands prime to free that sword for so long...

Little did I know it would soon become the weapon lodged deep into my heart. 

My king of a broken kingdom...How fitting is that title?

I thought I failed my son by allowing his vision of a 2 parent filled home to be snatched away. Should have tried harder but that takes two to tango.

Little did I know I was filling his eyes with deception and terrible renditions of a happy home. 

All bad? No not at all. 

No scars or abuse, as it would seem we just forced a round peg in a square hole at the wrong time stamp.

Trips down memory lane? Sorry we don't go that route anymore. 

You made it look so easy, and that ease killed me even more.

If I am ever to rebuild this dynasty it must be on new ground. 

The foundation we once had turned into a sinkhole the size of the Grand Canyon. 

We constantly defend ourselves against the other until we ended up on the attack without conscience effort. 

No fears my heart is trying to get the grand opening sign back up and lit. 

My mind wants to believe in a world that wouldn't just make me view love from a cage. 

No desperation here I can and will wait on my King! 

Until then I will clean my castle and fine tune my Queenly charm, so that it is ready to greet him royally upon his arrival. 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's alot and it's a bit of babbling, but it's my heart open for display. I loved, lost, and wish to love again one day much later. This is my healing process. 

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