shame

I can’t… But, Why? By jfarrell I can’t… I haven’t prepared… What if…. I could give a million reasons. I can’t bare the humiliation. A broken leg may hurt, But… SNAP! It’s over Humiliation is barbed wire through the heart Relived everytime you sleep Re-

I can’t… But, Why?

By jfarrell

 

I can’t…

I haven’t prepared…

What if….

I could give a million reasons.

 

I can’t bare the humiliation.

A broken leg may hurt,

But… SNAP!

It’s over

 

Humiliation is barbed wire through the heart

Relived everytime you sleep

Re-experienced everytime you close your eyes

Always there

 

I can’t ask out a woman because the ‘No’

Is like using a boxcutter on my heart

For everyone to see

For everyone to laugh…. forever

 

Over and over I would relive that humiliation

I couldn’t help myself

And, that’s why

I can’t

Author's Notes/Comments: 

pathetic, i know

You're Five Times Better Than I'll Ever Be

She's in her lonesome unity,

Then the feeling looms just like a tree.

Look in her mind; it says "listen to me"

"They're so much better than I'll ever be

They're so much better than I'll ever be

They're five times better than I'll ever be."


The two of you, you look so free.

You're everything that I wanna be.

Look in her eyes and then you'll see;

"You're so much better than I'll ever be

You're so much better than I'll ever be

You're five times better than I'll ever be."


She wants your love, not your pity.

She'd balance her laptop on her knee.

She's sure she's thinking foolishly;

"You're five times better than I'll ever be

You're five times better than I'll ever be

You're so much better than I'll ever be."


She uses up her mind and draws it.

She thinks it is her only asset.

Her value is what she'll produce;

Without her skills, she is no use,

And lacking words, she is no use.

She's suffered but her mind's abuse.

 

She wants to see the light,

But she gives up before the fight.

 

Collapsed within its irony,

(Her states swim alternatingly)

So that she really does believe

 

You're so much better than she'll ever be

You're so much better than she'll ever be

You're so much better than she'll ever be.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just a vent.

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Shame

Shame

By JFarrell

 

My shame stops.

Now!

 

Yes, I took the sweets

I was six years old

And I didn’t know what he wanted.

The scumbag raped me

But I am finished being ashamed for that.

 

I did not ruin my uncle’s wedding

Destroy his marriage

His scumbag friend

Was the rapist

 

I did not live up to my father’s expectations;

A cowardly drunk

Who beat his wife and kids

To feel like a man.

 

I took a lot of blame for my family

Sorry

No more

Find a new scapegoat.

 

The only thing I have to be ashamed of

Is that I let you hand me the blame;

And I am so through with that.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

no more anyones scapegoat

TIME

                     TIME                              

               

Time slowly arises as my heart stops and just for a second

I am hole as if I arose in time were I run free,

waking up to the realty were life consumes me by the hurt

and pain I see, people fear death as if the after life has nothing but sorrow,

how did we get here when did we shut down and live as slaves once again,

has evil taking over or have we lost the meaning of the word humanity,          

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tags:

You'd Choose Greed

You'd choose greed

In the face of kindness.
You'd choose malice and you'd choose utter blindness.
You'd choose greed instead of making sense
Bringing tears and causing great suspense.
 
You'd choose greed, you'd choose shyness
Instead of hello, you'd choose goodbye-ness.
You'd choose greed, you'd choose sadness
Instead of gladness.
Instead of choosing something everlasting
You'd choose something ever-passing.
You'd choose greed.
 
You'd choose fear
In the face of bravery.
You'd choose fear instead of feeling peaceful glee.
You'd choose fear, you'd choose sadness
Instead of goodness
You'd choose badness.
 
You'd choose fear, you'd choose slyness.
You'd choose lowness, instead of highness.
You'd choose fear, you'd choose sadness
Instead of gladness.
You'd choose fear, you'd choose worry.
Instead of standing, you'd choose to scurry.
You'd choose giving in instead of pushing on
Instead of right, you'd choose wrong.
Instead of choosing something everlasting
You'd choose something ever-passing.
 
You'd choose fear.
You'd choose greed.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is actually a shortened version of a song I made off the top of my head.

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What It Is

I feel like every single thing is like a mind game,  played and laid out for me

I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see

 

What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?

Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?

 

I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon

What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong

 

and now there is blood all over my hand

But I have no idea why, I just don't understand

 

This is a complication called the human mind

Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind

 

To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame

For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame

 

Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose

It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.

 

So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor

I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door

 

And you can echo your goodbyes

as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..

It's A Shame

It's a shame that you dont love her better.

Teardrop stains find refuge on her sweater.

And your moves are-

Off in the distance.

Tries with her might-
Cannnot break your resistance.

 

It's a shame that you don't find her sweeter.

Your standards-

So high.

They will never meet her.

And your smile is-

All she's needing.

But she knows your greetings-

Lack the meaning.

 

It's a shame that you won't hold her closer.

But her peers around-

Always seem to toast her.

And her moves are-

Becoming distant,

You might realize-

Slowly start to miss it.

 

It's a shame that you assumed you didnt need her.

For it seems your superiors start to seek her.

And your prescence is less than a memory.

As you become your worst enemy. 

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go with the opposite, silly

A friend of fear is doubt.

A friend of fear is shame.

A friend of fear is that darned dark feeling

that you are not worth anything.

A friend of fear is a trixter.

He'll make you feel that he is right.

Consuming your thoughts with his false confidence, 

he'll scare you away from your own heart's light.

So don't make friends with fear.

Instead make friends with love.

For love is fear's opposite.

And Love deserves your precious time.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

inspired by RoC's "Friends of Fear" 

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The Fairytale

The Fairytale

 

She waits for her Prince Charming,

And she knows that he will come,

Because she is a good girl,

She wasn't one of the dumb,

Her other friends bore children

Before marriage,as she waited,

She dare not admit to their happiness,

To her specialness she was fated,

The clock struck twelve, at forty four,

Her hair now getting grey,

Claiming not a man had truly loved her,

Because there had been no wedding day,

And all the men who sought to woo her,

And take her by the hand,

Were happily wed, with children and wives

Who before marrying took them to bed,

The years grew cold and dark,

She even learned some masturbation,

But she could not bear to see just how 

She led herself to this desperation,

At eighty five, her Prince arrived,

They married in a church,

They're both too worthy for this world,

To live it for all of it's worth,

No children birthed, they live their lives,

Content to think that love,

Is isolating from the world,

That's all they're worthy of.

 

 

 

 

12:49 PM 6/22/2013

 

©

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Smile a muse... Wink

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