understanding

musings on time

the world is not as small as I used to believe

Nor is it as forgiving

Heroes do not refer to the morally infallible,

But to people who did the necessary, right thing at the right time

Villains, then, are not those who seek darkness, but those who have embraced darkness as a means to justify an end

Justice picks favorites,

and mercy is fleeting

There is no peace without war,

and no war without crime

Happiness is not a state of mind, but a gift from time to time

Family is not forever, for better or worse

Wickedness and violence walk closely to love and loyalty:

you are hurt more often by those you trust than by strangers

Time passses more and more quickly every year you live

Loyalty is inevitably rewarded with treachery

Goodness is fleeting, but so is viciousness

People you love will leave you,

but you in turn will leave people who love you

There is no great end to a life, only an unexpected cessation

Honor, loyalty, and duty are used to justify violence

The powerful prey on the weak

The world is not as small as I used to believe

And the passage of time corrupts the heart,

dulls the mind

and rots the body.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A lamentation for the weary who enjoy weariness

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—Untitled 04/26/2017 [04:26]

 










Untitled

04:26






'Tis not that simple

to understand why we cry

There is no single reason

why we also smile

 

My sense of distinguishing

between the the two

extremes have become 

a mirage

 

And there were only a few

Who really could reason well

For I have not known love

As if it's as intimately—as you




Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a repost from my Twitter platform, created during a specially quirky situation (specified only as an untitled poem, & w/c was done on the fly at around 4:26 AM on April 26, 2017).  This is its edited version.

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Leaving You Once Again (Original)

Verse 1:
I have witnessed many having to say their final farewells and goodbyes once and for all.

Ships starting to arrive on the dock,

Horns blowing nad tooting within the distance,

To inform passengers

Soon after to abroad the ship.

Anchors dropping into the sea,

To stabilize the boat.

Putting it on balance.

 

Pre-Chorus:
Such a hefty wound, it carries within one's heart,

Only coming to realize that later on...

 

Chorus:
Words left unspoken,

Need not be said.

Evidently, our guilt takes control

Controlling our emotions in a split second.

Closing down and narrowing is thse walls

One hsa built as a lifesaver

To ensure they are alive and living.

No risk being lost and isolated at sea.

 

Verse 2:
A wounded heart so vanished at sea,

Flowing freely across the tranquil ocean waters.

 

Bridge:
Amid the breeze flowing,

Tides rolling and crashing before us.


2nd Chorus:
Its illumination guided me

To the path I should have chosen and ended up with.

Best believe it:
Sometimes, we all are not necessarily lazy.

More along the lines of discouragement.

Not necessarily smart or intelligent.

Just have our priorities straight and in order.

We are average.


Last-Chorus:
So, in the end, the ocean is turbulent and calm as it can be.

Let loose your wings...

Fly away into the distant skies

Overhead the ocean in our paths

Somehow, we manage to get through it all.

Close our eyes...

Dreaming of flying away...

Spread our wings and fly...away!

Free at last with our wings outsretched. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This song is about the good byes in life/reality especially when it comes to friendships, interpersonal communications, public speaking, etc. It was written back in 2002-2003.

The Beauty in Love & Art

I doubted I would find real, mutual love for the longest time.

That is only because I've looked in the wrong places and have fallen hard every time I thought

I found a missing part of me.

 

The problem with me is I don't fit in when I'm in any other group.

All around me in my daily life, I end up doing things I didn't want to do.

My life is getting stuck between a rock and a hard place when I choose

To be something I feel is right for me.

 

You're not hard to please for you are a fellow artist who shares my passion and attraction.

We color each other's worlds and we help each other out when we need it the most.

I give you my passion and you give it back in return.

We are not dependent on one another because we can take care of ourselves.

 

The sea leads to many places and although I have not landed where I needed to go,

You found me and led me in the right direction.

With you and me together, "lost" has no meaning.

We are simply taking our time to get to where we need to be.

 

The forsaken world and everything that was wrong with it will be far behind

Once I leave what destroyed me before and look for who I am.

The chains that keep me from breathing no longer exist

When I am somewhere else in the consciousness hidden within.

 

The art I color is vital to me as taking a breath.

Likewise, the more we are next to each other,

The more I see how selfless and warmhearted you are.

 

The way you treat me thaws my own heart until there is a flame that surrounds it.

A flame that only burns when you and I continue to bond.

Only you can see and feel how special it is to me that you make me feel that way.

I dream of us meeting face to face so we can make our artistic worlds come to life.

 

You teach me many things that I hold onto in my life.

Being with you helps me resist temptation that hinders my goals.

Speaking my tongue to you helps me become wiser in knowing the right things to say.

Presenting my own art to you helps me gain the courage to keep blossoming until my colors bloom like summer flowers.

More importantly, revealing my hopes and dreams to you gave me the escape from misery I longed to achieve.

 

In return for your kindness, I give you my passion and complete our missing soul.

To truly build up trust, all we have to do for each other is stay and that's what I will do for you.

Inside-Out

I want you to beat me with a bat.

I want you to break my bones.

You have to take a limb,

A dominant one, obviously.

I want to be hospitalized for months,

And when I'm deemed "healed"

I want it to be obvious

That I struggle daily

With the loss of a part of me

I thought I could always rely on.

I want to go to work

And act like everything is okay,

But lose my job anyway,

Because my performance, just isn't the same.

I want to fall,

And need your hand to get back up.

I want you to see on the outside-

The debilitation I feel inside,

So you can understand

And with heart instead of hand

Help me to my feet again.

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*Look At Me*

November.11.1997

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

Look at me

Look past the clothes

Look past the skin

Look into the soul

Tell me what you see

My heart does not play around

Hurt my feeling you made a sin

God brought us together

He is the one that found

The beautiful relationship to be 

The one that will last forever

God knows it will be him

A broken heart....In pieces...Never

In this passionate love we will swim

Trueness is forever

Fate brought us to one another

Hearts intwined are even better

We will wear on us a heart to show our love

It replaces the scar-let letter

Our relationship will fit tighter then a glove

We will never neglect

True romance will reflect

Treat eachother with respect

Promise truthfully we will never part

Promise I will not get a broken heart

 

Look at me

I hate the way I must be

Can't you see

I liked you from the start

I would not want you to leave my sight

If we disagree

Lets not fight

Promise you'll keep away the fears

Help me with the hurt

Keep away the tears

Do not be a tease

Playing with my mind

My love is what I will freeze

Trying to hurt me is so unkind

Be sweet to me 

You'll see what you find

Let our spirits free 

Understanding

rearranging

Look inside

sick of paging

Hope you had not lied

Forever

Such sins

Finding out the truth I've cried

Together

It just begins

Leaving eachother

Look at me 

Look beyond

Can't you believe

That we have a special bond

So I guess this means I have to leave

 

Copyright

Homeless

You assume that you know me,
through vacant ties.
Unstable but faithful,
we lie in lye.


My life is but a metaphor,
For bloodletting and paramours.
You tell me that I'm drowning,
but I feel fine.

 

Your quotes from Matthew, Mark and Philippians,
make me want to drink again.
Sleep in silk and vomiting-
Promises to change rattle your spine.

 

My life's becoming more heavy than some
At the age of 21.
You tell me that I'm loved,
but I feel alone.

 

Screams that seep beneath the skin,
somehow sedates the pain within.
Cursing white knuckles,
and tame less cries.

Hyrda

Mortal so he comes,

Be it not for his immortal crowned head,

Thorned upon the throes of man and beast.

His eyes fall upon the soul of Hadies world, 

Formed against decapitated ring heads.

 

Maybe his past soul fell among the rubble of distant times,

Punished by Zeus to see all gaze into his octopian eyes.

Every man fears his stare,

poisoned among those iris hollowed strong,

Like the holes of Christian feet,

Bleeding for eternity among the sin

Of what once was.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Based on the Greek Mythological creature the Hydra

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Monsters In The Dark

Now listen to what I have to say

For the wicked hide in the shadows of this day

 

You know nothing of what is of me

You may know the color of my eyes

But not of what they are capable to see

 

Now here, I've warned this upon you

For not every smile is ever true

 

Everything is not set in stone

You may say there is an answer

When nothing is completely known

 

Close your eyes, please understand

That what you may rely on is a blood-thirsty hand

 

Unknown of what they truly are

Watch think before you turn and talk

Someone so close to you can be so far

 

So remember before you go on and say

"But why would anyone do this to me anyway?"

 

Human nature can be full of evil and greed

Unwatched, A monster born within the shadows, full only of self pleasure and need.