problem

Your Temper is My Poison

There’s chow littered on the staircase floor.

I scramble to clean up the spill before it’s all consumed

By the cat that brought the family bad luck since the late spring.

 

Here I go, like I always do,

Holding my tongue on the job

While I hear you shout

While I hear you try to crush me

While I hear you goad me to scream.

 

It confuses me why an act of kindness and good intentions

Can wrought so much volatile sentiments.

I’ve been hesitant to feed the little one because I don’t know his tastes.

Never did I anticipate that her gluttonous habits are what triggers you.

Or is it he? Wow. Just wow.

 

Anger does wonders to the hippocampus.

My curiosity about how long you’ll live after that squabble fascinates me

But it concerns me at the same time.

Mad people live shorter lives than those that can stay calm when there’s an inconvenience.

 

To you, I’ve always been the stupid little boy you’ve been raising since thirty-two.

To me, you’ve always been the hot-headed scumbag that loves pushing my buttons.

And your temper is my poison.

 

Just today, while hitting the road, I thought we’d find common ground.

Keeping our cools while the mama cat is away

And a kitten comes out to play

Before it helps us seek four crystals in need of recovering.

 

When all that is done, I thought we’d go out for

Bagels and quiche for old time’s sake.

I enjoy the little interactions and activities when your temper is below zero.

 

Sadly, tonight once again broke the streak

That counted consecutive days we got along.

This always happens growing up, yet I never see it coming.

 

To you, I’ve always been the stupid little boy you’ve been raising since thirty-two.

To me, you’ve always been the hot-headed scumbag that loves pushing my buttons.

And your temper is my poison.

 

If you think the black cat is getting pudgy,

Why don’t you take a look in the mirror?

You’ve put on more pounds than she did.

Or he did? How did you get the genders mixed up in the heat?

 

I guess anger does wonders to the hippocampus.

You’re the reason why I have to keep my temper in check.

And why I prefer tears over beers.

All for the sake of my own well-being so I don’t turn out exactly like you.

 

Your temper is my poison and I won’t let it fester.

The only antidote to my ailment is knowing that I’ll be out of this roof

Happier than I was living under it just like I was for the past two years.

 

I know that as a guppy, Mother said to be considerate of you and

I was told that deep inside, you do care.

Sadly, it’s excruciatingly difficult for me not to judge this book by its cover.

I just can’t pry it open to see the pages no matter how hard I try to interpret your rage.

But if this little message hurts your feelings,

It’s a dish served hotter than the volcano in the back of your head.

 

To you, I’ve always been the stupid little boy you’ve been raising since thirty-two.

To me, you’ve always been the hot-headed scumbag that loves pushing my buttons.

And your temper is my poison. It will always be my poison no matter how old we get.

The Worst of A Savage

I feel like I'm getting cut off the chord

Another guy's cheating on his girlfriend while he's bored

Lies to his good friend and runs off again anew

Leaves his friend to the wolves and what is true

 

To lie and kiss when you belonged to another
To take away a poor soul's virginity and have a 10th lover

All of this and more at once

Consecutively deceiving and ongoing months

 

I wonder just what is your problem?

To steal so many hearts and trap a robin

And feed the sickness to the sea of insanity

Starting another storm and change the skies to calamity

 

To taint another's love

and slit the throat of a peaceful dove

You set a storm in the deepest of hearts

and set wounds inside the most delicate parts

When will you ever seem to care or learn

Until the harsh fire inside of you ceases to burn

 

To turn yet another to stone

and eat the flesh and leave bare bone

Laying in the shadows waiting for the next poor soul to ravage

Clearly you fit the name, the worst of a savage

 

 

 

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I Walk An Endless Road

I walk endless an road

locked into a heavy load

Of these questions and fears

Gripping from it's unreasonable tears

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another day

As I wake up to the sun's harsh light

 

I try not to look back

As I attempt to fill this crack

Of this hurt and wonder

Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another night

As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might

What It Is

I feel like every single thing is like a mind game,  played and laid out for me

I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see

 

What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?

Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?

 

I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon

What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong

 

and now there is blood all over my hand

But I have no idea why, I just don't understand

 

This is a complication called the human mind

Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind

 

To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame

For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame

 

Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose

It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.

 

So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor

I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door

 

And you can echo your goodbyes

as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..

A Faceless Crisis

A face crumbles to the floor

and the question grows
No trace to find the locked door
Within it's secrets, trapped
and soon I will become the silence
Still without an identity mapped

and soon I will become the faceless shadow
Fast to soon slip away
With the colors gone and hollow
To bathe within the crumbles from my face
and the answer departs
Leading to nothing but empty space.

Forever to climb a mountain, a mountain called past 

Unknown - December 9, 2011

They to to understand,

Simply cannot comprehend,

This pain where I stand;

This misery that will not end.

 

My mind of fear and doubt,

And of pain I cannot bare.

I am always unsuccessful,

In ridding this despair.

 

I am unknown,

To myself and others.

These problems I am,

Cannot hide under covers.

 

I may cut or burn,

Or harm myself tonight.

To me, it's my turn,

To bare my mental fight.

 

I am unknown,

To myself and others.

But these problems I am,

Will no longer be uncovered.

 

I will wake up tomorrow,

And my pain will not be shown.

But this pain is real,

Just to others, it's unknown.

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