emotional

Emotional Ocean

Folder: 
Poems.

There in front of me

Standing

With no way around

It hits me

Waves of pain and devotion

It's an emotional ocean.

 

There's a sanctuary outside of my mind

But my mind had me confined

Inside of this rhyme

Running out of time

To find

This peace that I must've left behind.

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The Beast Inside...

The beast inside…

© 2017 SachikoMochiko " Sachi Ruaya

 

What’s worse than killing someone? Leaving them suffering alive. Now, whether or not they suffer is up to them…

 

Cracks…that’s how the light comes in.

 

You found that someone,

Who you deem; is the last piece of you

O’ but that one…that other one just "

How long will your grip hold?

 

 

It’s a dark feeling; jealousy

Where green, grey and black swirls weave your heart

Like steel, poison ivy 

 

 

As your blood curdles and boils,

your red-laced eyes eyeball

That one who touched your precious

 

 

Your precious gem that you admire from afar.

Your precious one, who births a hazy warm chest.

Your precious half…the other fading half of you.

 

 

But you refrain from killing

And instead of making arrangements to prey,

You keep that one alive  but suffering from your fangs

 

Your inner beast lurks inside,

already devoured half of you and yourself.

Its true form will not feast unless you do

 

 

Your fangs…its fangs bite, drawing thick, oozy blood

Of the one you hold captive in your prison

All for that one precious one, you shed blood

 

 

Your bite…your torture…your beast

Is a reflection of the steel, poison ivy

Is a being born from your selfishness…your jealousy

 

 

But you continue to feast even when you know

Know that this beast will soon consume your flesh, Bone-clean

Because pleasure will come from ones’ suffering

 

 

You are blinded by the beast; your scarlet eyes see no more,

the beauty of your precious gem…

BlurryVivid. Pitch-black.

 

 

You have lost sight of your intentions,

And your precious gem’s light is no more

Now, you know: You. Are. Devoured.

 

 

You sit there on the bottom of the beast’s stomach

Living with the pure darkness of your own

Alone. With your crackling, dry heart -unable to love

 

 

After all, you were just blind.

Destined to lurk in darkness.

 

 

Emptiness. Your skin slowly peels off from the dry darkness

Slowly…painfully, in this prison, the veil is ripped

Revealing something undeniably powerful

 

You.

 

 

The bleeding wounds of which the skin is peeled

Thus, shunned the lies and unveils the truth

The truth of you embedded inside -within the beast

 

The light suppresses the dry darkness 

With your passion, memories, joy and love

You slice through the belly…striving for freedom once more!

 

 

Author’s Note: 

 

This is one of the small fragments to ready one of my upcoming masterpiece. I will write more poems like this (having the same motivational force). WORRY is next.



 
 

© 2017 SachikoMochiko

Author's Notes/Comments: 
This is one of the "practice" poems so I can produce a higher quality work for a special someone of mine:)

Gosh...my punctuation is bad. Just like any other poems I post here, it ain't finished. Still more reviewing to be done. But overall, I hope you enjoy XD

=

Jealousy, eh? Just a quick note, any poem I write is nearly always based off of my true feelings and recent events/emotions. 
"I thought it was good but felt it would be better if it was a story...it feels like your using a lot of words which is good but feel it would make an amazing story if it had a bit more body in it... not sure what type of criticism you wanted. I think you would be amazing at writing stories I’m not being negative I agree with what the person below said just think it’s more story like xx" - Simba
"Raw and honest.Outstanding imagery in words and visuals. I can picture you in my head, shouting these words at the person this story is intended for. My only little critique is that there are more than a few harsh words used that I would have replaced with something different. He's not returning your love but you can't force someone to do so. Other than that brilliant as always I look forward to the rest of the story " Thedeus Hobbs

Control.

Trust.

It was a given, though you should have earned it.

A mistake I keep repeating;

As if I am not learning shit.

 

Every.

Single.

Experience.

Now, deemed worthless.

But you tell me how I feel.

You can tell me if this is real.

Did I make this mess?

 

"Selfish".

Ridiculous, spitting words like this is a spelling test.

"Emotional".

Memento mori, you turned your back on me.

I'm a human fucking being.

Excuse me for grieving, the death of myself.

 

Banging on a cardboard coffin.

Hands bloodied, dont feel the hurt.

Don't think of all the dirt gettin in;

Make it up up to the surface,

don't let them win.

 

I can feel the grass and tug at it rough.

Crawling out, organs a mess.

"Not today, Satan"

I tell myself in a huff.

Tired of going through things.

I've seen enough.

 

Trying to avoid hurt.

Licking my wounds.

Not self consumed.

Begining to breathe now.

It's like I've forgotten how.

Throat full of earth, I throw it up.

Dust off my dress, 

Memories of being alive with cough syrup.

Walking dead at this point,

barely breathing.

 

Simply trying to heal.

The coffin I left behind is real.

With a piece of myself in there.

"There lies a piece of Betty"

No one cares.

"A tenacious woman that always cared"

 

Now I'm up here.

Human being amongst people.

Fucking.

Scared.

Too tenacious to die, too emotional to be alive.

Simply trying to deal;

With things I should have never felt.

 

These are just the cards,

that I have been dealt.

One cannot control that,

But how they handle their hand.

 

I cannot control what life hands me,

but I can take a stand.

 

I refuse to me told how I feel,

My emotions are valid.

I am real.

I've got balls of steel;

They are just misplaced.

I am not something to be forgotten,

Something you can simply replace.

 

You mistreat me, or try to break me down.

I go Casper.

You don't find me anywhere in town.

I'm a woman, I deserve respect.

But, I get treated like a Leper.

A damn reject.

 

This mental illness is at the steering wheel.

I get barked at for this so much, I can no longer feel.

You want to control me?

Take a number.

You can't even handle me.

 

 

 

Picked to Pieces

Folder: 
Dark

The coating underneath

Eats away at surface cracks

You peel layers of me

As if I'm scabby flesh 

 

We work on me

Like we're dissecting the abnormal

Pushing and pulling 

Vulnerability grows

 

Haunting trails of voices

Linger in the open world

Soon growing hands

Upon my neck to grasp

 

Eyes too tired to be vibrant 

You've given me a sorrowful glow

Dark truths, a halo for my head

Misery flaunts an awful tone

Despair

      Ive struggled to find the real me, but ive managed to see the death of me. The struggle & pain is like a normal factor, while the happiness and comfort is just a dream. Im lost in this world called earth, its not where I belong. Im sinking & sinking in my unhappiness. Always giving preaches telling people what their doing wrong, and why they should fight. Such a hypocrite when I dont even want my own life. I've been sucked in to all these lies telling me their gonna do right but you never believe the spark in a devils eye. All these bullets, and guns people dying and shit. Make me wanna protect my momma & little sisters cause they dont need to see that shit. Ive came to the conclusion I dont fw 12 every since them mfs put my brother in jail. I just feel so unspoken, so unheard maybe Im tripping or Im just lost for the right words.....

 
Written by: Elay'Shia Wilson , 
Elay'shia.wilson@evsck12.com
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem because these are my inside feelings. I write only what I feel and think. 

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tags:

Emotion

The speed of lust 

The fury of pain 

Pitch dark feelings 

Wrapped in a ball of flame...


That’s emotion! 


As the storm of sensation 

And your heart collide 

And it’s like the ocean 

Bashing against the rocks at high tide...

 

 That’s emotion! 


As the emotional roller coaster

Dips twist and turns 

You can feel the winds friction 

Yet you yearn for the burn 


Traveling faster and faster 

Without safety’s concern 

You crash and free fall into a bottomless pit 

Realizing emotion is long term....


It's forever!


Rushing through your veins 

Like adrenaline for the brain

You can feel the battle between love and hate 

Making you cry for Novocain.... 


That’s emotion! 


-E- is gasoline 

-MOTION- is its fire 

Never fully satisfied 

Yet its sparked by desire 


An incredible encounter 

Overwhelming in its capacity 

Emotion is the master of manipulation

Dealing cards of joy and tragedy 


So don’t worry be happy 

But be afraid be very afraid

Although laughter is good medicine 

An overdose will cause stress and strain…


That’s emotion!


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No Longer In Pain

Folder: 
Emotional

I am not good with showing how I feel.
No until the pain becomes to real.
The moment my walls come down.
In a flood of tears, I drown.
When sorrow flows in a steady stream.
I no longer know how to dream.

I use to be so well guarded,
That emotion could not be seen on my face, not even a trace.
That I stood tall and strong.
In a world that did me wrong.
I could hold back my hurt,
When people looked down on me as if I was dirt.

When my heart could take, the ache.
Even though it was damaged and tore,
I told myself, I always swore.
That words were all they were and nothing more.
That I could turn my back and ignore their cruelty.
Just turn away,
Just not listen to what they say.

The days grew longer, but the minutes were endless,
And I would look upon the stars at night,
I would ask whoever was listening then,
If it were alright,
If I could give up the fight.
Because I was tired and alone,
An outcast and on my own.

The wall that protected my soul crumbled and crashed,
Turned to ruble fast,
My strong facade was never meant to last.
And so I to fell.
I made no sound, not even a yell.
As if there was anyone who heard when they could never tell,
I was about to crack.

Now. The tears continue to fall,
Wishing I had someone I could call,
Out to.
They don't stop only continue to flow one after another.
One tear, after the other.
Is it because of pain?
Or is it because it comes natural,
Just like the rain.

I can not tell because I have done it for so long.
Crying.
Until I finally gave up trying.
My heart no longer plays its own song,
It doesn't carry the same tune it once had.
Now isn't that sad...
That I let life gets the best of me,
Now I am not who I used to be,

I can no longer see,
A way out of the dark pit,
No opening, no rift.
Just darkness all around.
Capturing everything it surrounds.
No light to shine through,
My life is done, through.

Somehow, I am okay with that.

I am no longer in pain.

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Taken-Away



He took away something I could never get back

The innocence of a child now self esteem is what I lack

I was only 7 or 8 how was I supposed to know?

I never knew someone could do something so low

Thinking back on it now I wondered why did I let him touch me

Was "no" and kicking not enough to get him off me?

I told him "no," mom I told him "no" like you always taught me 

Why didn't he stop mom? I said "NO!" Why couldn't he let me be?

To him I was just a stumpy still tree 

He took away something deep

My mind, some nights I couldn't sleep

But I'm stronger now and more confident in myself

I won't let this guy take my stress or my health

I've never told anyone this and I probably never will

Part of me feels guilty, maybe if I had it would of stopped the chills

But now I'm 21 and I'm starting to see

That NOT everything was taken away from me

I REFUSE to let this man take anymore from me

The innocence of a child is ALL it will ever be.

I am still a Virgin, something I hold on to with all my heart

I plan to be, till the day I walk down the isle with my future sweetheart 

People wonder why I don't like being touched?

They call me prude and judge but I don't nudge

The simplest thing, like holding hands I couldn't even do

And that's all yes, yes because of YOU!

No one knows or truly understands

Why I would never take anyone hand in hand 

People say I come off strong and confident, in my head I say "if you only knew" 

That it was all a facade behind something SO TRUE 

But now I can finally say that this facade has turned to truth

I'm starting to leave everything that happened in my youth.

Someone once told me, "never regret, if it's good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's an experience."

So I'm taking that as a bet

I'm starting to face my past without regret 

Because if it didn't happen I wouldn't have worked up the courage to be up here

Speaking with words that are so sincere.

Richard Bach once said "what the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly" 

My translation is that I'm transitioning to a new beginning and moving on from the past 

Its not the end but a new beginning at last

I like to end things on a good note

So here is one of my favorite quotes 

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I've never had anyone read any of my poems before, this is my first one that I have posted, let me know what you think! This is a poem about me and it is all true.

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The Path of the River

I am bound again, just as they said I was
It's clear and beautiful blue hue becomes forever cloudy
A bird's chirps become distorted by the rain and thunder's cries

I walk alone the path of the river
Alone accompanied by my footprints only
Till the crow comes to bring yet another question
This I can't ignore, for the world will shiver


And the steam shall arise from my next decision
and the never's and forever's again will pour the air
I hope to hold on to whatever is left
The sun can tell another day, to become my true vision






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