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I have the

diamonds sitting in

my lap and I

still will not stop looking for

the coal / when I sleep it

is his skin seeping

into the abyss/ when

you leave it is you in

my head but not on my

fingertips that slip

down down down / the open

door has you glancing and

I can feel myself

writing us out of

your story / there is

something out there I

am not ready to face

without fighting a lose-

lose situation / but this

one is not a question

of uncompromise it is

just me / me standing

hopes-deep in the

sand losing everything so

can you tell / can you

tell me which hinges

to push and pull so

I can have you

back again

The bones landed on the cards. The Fool.

The Sun.

The Chariot to bring them around

in front of me

so my heartbeat would even out

and my hands would stop rivaling

the dry leaves clinging to the sleepy oaks

at the edge of my yard.

They stand against the November wind

sweeping in to usher out October.

          Here’s the thing about fortunes:

their fraying corners are soft against your fingers.  

Millstones and mishaps all mess with my mind.

I have no idea of what I may find

Tomorrow, next week, or even next year;

Yet freedom is one thing that I hold dear.

Anchors and anvils are weighing me down;

They're keeping me here, in this one-horse town!

The call of the wild now cries out in vain;

I fear I may never leave here again!

Hitches and hurdles are lurking close by,

But that does not mean that I should not try

To loosen my shackles and lighten my load.

I dream of adventure, down a new road.

"Hope springs eternal" a poet once said.

Faith and good fortune are surely not dead!

I'll find the right moment, biding my time,

Then off I will fly, straight into my prime!

Copyright © Robert Haigh 2020

I remember the time,
When the world was much simpler,
As little kids we had it all setup for us,
Now see see the world in its true face now,
How it all changed with a few years going by,
I wish I still had the chances I had 5 years ago,
But now I take the chances today give,
Hoping I make the right call,
That I don't regret in 5 year,
Choices I can sit my kids down too,
Say this is what I've done,
Worring will I get disowned by my son,
Or hear Dad, that's so cool,
I want to be just like you,
But life is so fast how can I keep up,
It feels like I'm drowning someone,
I need help someone save me,
By the time I know my fate,
I will already know,
If I made it or if I'm a failure,
Did I let the river run,
Or did I take control,
And stear my own destiny,
To my own goals,
To my own end,

The day I smelled the gasoline forty feet up

I said

I don’t want to miss you like them

I don’t want to be the one

to push you to the wall

Sometimes all you need is a chance

and I speak a different language.

When you’re around

you know my stride is full of you

Maybe if I take half a step

we could change,

we’ll be afraid

of getting to where our hearts storm the drains.

I said

I don’t want to miss you like them

but if that’s what it takes

to live something worth seeing

to write something worth reading

to say something worth telling…

I will gladly take

the heartbreak on my hands.

You say that you’re scared of the unknown

Nobody can say what the future will hold

It’s terrifying going in blind

But I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I’ll be by your side

For as long as you’ll let me

And I’ll help clear the path

That you’re going to follow.

I’ll hold your hand

As we explore together

And when you’re ready

I’ll let someone else take the lead.

Nobody knows what will happen

Or who we will become

But I wouldn’t want to go through

The unknown with anyone else.

You and I are voices sight-reading tomorrow.

We write out to all the listeners

and give them no reason to stay

but there are so many hands on me

I can’t sit still for a second

even to listen to what might become the world.

I sight read your lips over and over and I keep finding a different rhythm

every step that sings I belong here

is interrupted when the seconds unwind

and lay out a carpet to carry me from you.

I just want to be the person I’m too shy to be

after a day or a universe

I walk in your door and drop everything I am on the ground

I know you won’t care.

Sometimes I think when I am in love

I am buried so deep in sanity that I don't know what it is anymore

I couldn’t recognize it if it came and broke down my door

made these breezes breathe through my skin

cleaned me out of brain space

gave me the best orgasm I have ever had.

And so I stare it straight in the face,

look right on through.

I reach in for all the love I can give you

I twist it with your smile

I let it go but it is easy

because there is so much to hold on to.

You pull at my lips like a few too many consonants,

a string of intrigue that will make me come back,

look twice.

This moment is glittering with promises

and I can’t catch it

no matter how fast it feels like I am flying.

I don’t think like my words

but my words build a body

that wonders if you can see

promise in girl

and then every time you get close

something wishes it away

because my doubt can’t stand the company.

The promises seep down

and I twist them in my fingers like red under thorns

and sometimes I look at you like I might go blind

or you’ll go missing.

Tonight is thunder and stillness and missing you

and someday it will be

a wave I can’t conquer by hearing your voice at night.

I think if history comes around again

I will repeat myself onto other lips

You are my first string and I will make the world our race.

I think if I fall in love again

I will see you in her eyes

I will make sure she is just enough like you 

to break me down.