i miss all the decisions i didn’t make
and i still kind of want to know the color of your eyes
every day you wake up without me
there is a song that gets me through so many days
and i wrote out all the lyrics in a message to you
still unsent
because how am i supposed to get through days
and not come home asking you to hold me
how am i supposed to have something to celebrate
and not have you be the first one i tell
call me crazy when the lights go out
i send the stars some letters but they will never reach you
I paint my wishes on your walls with glow in the dark paint-
it’s still not enough
you never turn the lights off
Crossroad
By jfarrell
Behind me lies the road I have travelled;
As I arrive at this crossroad,
I will sit, rest,
Consider my options
Nearly 20 years in childcare,
But I am not that person anymore;
Suicide and looking after kids
Do not mix well
So, here I am
At the crossroad;
To my left lies bar work
I can help folk find oblivion
To my right lies kitchen work;
Although recent experience suggests
I am a case of mass food poisoning
Waiting to happen
The road ahead is paved with words;
Short words, long words
And the signpost reads “Your future is this way”
This is my crossroad and the road ahead looks beautiful
Travelling along my path
I find myself
At a crossroads,
However,
I do not take the road less traveled,
For that one looks overused.
And I do not take the road more traveled,
For that one looks forgotten.
Instead I choose to create my own path,
Carve a new trail,
Enjoy a new experience which no one has ever seen before.
I choose to take the path I want,
Not the ones everyone tells me I can.
The hourglass stands
Bits of sand fall
Turn it on its side
My being is split
Between what once was
And what will be
Each grain reflects a choice, a trait, a memory
What happens now?
Wasting time again and again
Where does it begin and end
What is my foundation?
AND there she was, standing in the distance, disappointed, upset, confused, broken, hurt. Begging for an answer to the burning disappointment she was presented with.
IT was not that she had not loved him, nor was it that she didn't love him, but that she was let down, and the feeling she was left with was impossible to explain.
WILL she understand what she feels, and will she make it through? Of course she will. She's strong. She may be broken, but she's fixed plenty of things in her lifetime to get back up and take a step out there and be somebody.
BE strong, be faithful, be truthful, be honest, be yourself. That's where you're going to find true love. Someone will come along and pick you up off of your feet and make you feel like you've never felt before.
OKAY is the word that's going to describe you after every battle. After every fight. After the loss, after the heartache. After the pain and breaths that she had to take in order to get through.
But in the end... She knew that she'd have to fight..
And it will be okay
I feel like every single thing is like a mind game, played and laid out for me
I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see
What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?
Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?
I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon
What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong
and now there is blood all over my hand
But I have no idea why, I just don't understand
This is a complication called the human mind
Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind
To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame
For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame
Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose
It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.
So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor
I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door
And you can echo your goodbyes
as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..
What if I wasn't like you?
And I was just me, and Myself was true?
And if you did bad would it mean I would too?
Would it mean if I did it, I'm exactly like you?
Would I be subject to your evil?
Would I be subject to your internal upheaval?
What if I am good in spirit,
And you might just rather not hear it
And if I did bad, does it mean I'm just like you?
Looking for an excuse for the culprit that causes blue?
Decisions left to baseless comparison
Myself gone from me, and origin
She tells me so, I'm just like him and her
Do you see my other qualities as just a blur?
Bring my poison, she admits me to it
Determines me as someone else and then she sits
Then, who am I?
A continuation of your deranged views, someone elses cry?
The tentecals of this beast are pulling me down
My sails are broken and there is no one around
So i made a deal with Davy Jones
There is no way im letting this beast keep my bones
Ill end up working the rest of my life away
But atleast in the end ill be able to say
"Every decision ive made was my own
Even when the gods tried to bring me home."
I’m just trying to live life one step at a time.
Just searching for a meaning to my life that will ease my mind.
I write what’s in my heart, I look for guidance in the stars.
Just on a mission to find the right destination.
It’s every step along the way that makes me who I am,
sets me apart from the rest, my heart and mind so unique .
I strengthen what I know as I continue to grow.
My mission is to learn as much as I can and to love deeper than I’ve ever known.
It’s every step along the way that makes the destination so great.