heartbreak song


we don’t believe we aren’t enough

until someone who tells us we are

twists their tongue into a lie.


my thoughts are too expensive.

I will toss them down the drain.

I can’t wait till they stick me to your palms again.


I want you to notice

my every exhale

until moonrise


until your touch is no longer a surprise

but something I can spell like a tattered recipe

something I lean into.


I want to spill you over sound

until it all turns to gray.


maybe when I leave the future will be a memory,

I will drown it in chemicals

and the ghosts will become my eyes.


I won’t sleep tonight.


this is a heartbreak song,

and my god I hope it’s not for you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/26/20

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Torn Love

Im hoping the pain will heal in time,

How is it only now I can tell you,

I love you,

Please dont say a word,

I know youre in love,

I know its not with me,

The truth haunts my memories,

I know its too late,

The love we had was torn in two,

I have nothing left but tears,

Those are mine you cant take them away,

Like a comet passing by,

A shooting star in the sky,

The trail of dust left behind as it flies past,

Caught in the atmosphere of a planet,

It starts to heat up and burn,

Hotter and hotter it burns,

Plummeting towards the surface,

A giant crater left from impact,

It feels like a joke,

You never seemed like you cared at all,

You let me burn,

You encouraged the heat,

I fell in love with a fantasy,

A reality that never was to be,

Broken inside and out,

I wanted to take your pain away,

But now all I want is to be gone,

Youve gone away,

Left me here i n this crater,

Broken, burnt and alone,

The worst is over now I can breathe again,

I can think of you and not hurt any more,

Everybody hurts sometimes,

Everybody screams,

Eventually everybody walks away,

You take the memories we had together,

I will take the tears froom the years.

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Methodic Madness

Enslaving chains and wilderness pains 

are broken on healing heavenly domain 

plus graceful throne, envisioned. 


Method upholds this marauding madness 

aflicting us on earthly journeys through 

wounded wilderness, deadly disdain 

and frighful famine; distressing 

humankind and nature. 


Twisted minds and wicked souls  

torment humankind on this earthly  

journey through birth, life and death. 

Yet, we came with nothing; and with 

nothing, we depart to earth's dust.  


Hideous hypocrisy darkens love to 

hide this greatest reality from heaven's 

green pastures, meadows and 

river bed, unchained.  


We follow this river path to oceans 

lighted by divine mercy and unending 

salvation; healing broken hearts and 

bleeding, lost souls. 



Every evening our dreams

climb the currents of warm air

until they are joined like

two soaring birds,

a rendezvous of

wedded souls over

green and blue


My dream holds

your dream and confesses

how it sought your attention,

how before there was you,

there was me, waiting for you

to exist, moving carefully

over mountains crowned

with clouds, and

into dark valleys in search

of your light


Every morning my dream

returns, filling the room

with your delicate

perfume, and I wake

knowing every night

I slept with you,

that your arm rested

across my naked chest,

that our legs were

braided into each other,

that your nose was

perfectly warm

under my chin,

and that the still

soft pleasure

of your lips

against my neck

connected us like

a promise

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Because I can only see her in my dreams . . .

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Shit Head

Shit Head

The Jerk led off a perk
lead through the comfort of the home all alone
my inside phrase is clear
want to shed a single tear
led through a sparkle in your hair
shade of grass...

there he moveth sprinkled magic dust in mirror
in the street below the Chinese verb;
clear spear in the notion of bad breath me do,

Shit head, followed in the dinner close to french a way of mission
Chinese man now old peed on the wall
move to stand up ten feet tall
sharp to whisper sorrow down the middle

Shit head..screw the canopy in what its worth
Shit a hold of a virgin smile
Shit by the miracle mile
Shit the window

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We are trying to stay the same

as the ground breaks spring

and the world ends.


Feels like a metaphor.


We are on a cliff and

I am trying to keep you safe

in this fraying net.


I should say something about

beginnings and endings

and some things never changing

but that isn’t true, isn’t it?

We are changing

every second.


I want to think

we’re different in a good way.


We are trying to start again

as everything is unraveling


your fingers in mine.


Are we scared enough

brave enough

strong enough

enough to hold on?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/6/2020

In Love and I Hate It


Im in love and I hate it,

It hurts so much,

Why did I have to fall in love with you?

You are like poison in my veins,

Im totally addicted to your games,

You are beautiful,

That beauty is tained,

I cant take it any more,

What am I supposed to do?

I want to be with you,

I want to run away from you,

I feel like Im spiralling down a hole,

I make the same mistakes,

Over and over again,

I cant walk away,

Like a moth drawn to a flame,

My heart overrules my head,

Its agony,

Its ecstasy,

I cant decide what I want more,

The pleasure or the pain,

Its magic the way you hypnotise,

I dont know what to believe any more,

My head is so messed up,

I love you,

I hate you,

I hate myself,

I look up to the stars and the planets for guidance,

I feel like Im falling through space,

I dont have the strength inside,

My head hangs low,

My heart pulled in different directions,

The tears flow freely,

I need to be strong,

I need to move on,

You make me feel bad and its not fair,

I feel so lost.


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Torn Love

What has happened to us?

You feel like a ghost to me,

Tell me what it is I have done,

Did you ever stop and notice all the hurt this causes?

Its as if youre not even there anymore,

Im like a ghost to you,

Its haunting me,

Its hurting me,

My heart is restless,

Who gave you right to make it break?

I dont understand it,

You mean so much to me,

Ive cried thousands of tears over you,

Ive bled because of you,

Dont put a knife in my back,

Stab me in the heart,

So I know its you who did it,

Look me in the eye and tell me,

Do you even care?

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You play with me,

You tease me,

You give me your full attention,

I play with you,

I tease you,

I give you my full attention,

Playing together feels so right,

Its never too late,

We can play together any time,

Sometimes we dont have to play,

We can just talk,

I dont want to lose you to the darkness inside,

Take my hand,

Walk with me through the woods,

All the trees clearing to a field of grass and flowers,

Clear sky overhead,

Lay down with me,

Hold me close as I hold you,

Stare up at the endless blue,

I want to stay like this forever,

With you,

Listening to you breathe,

Play with me,

Chase me,

Grab hold of me,

Pin me to the ground,

Dont hurt me,

I wont hurt you,

Neither of us deserve the pain,

Please dont leave me.


Eyes wide open,

Heart pounding in my chest,

Breath catching in my throat,

I choke back the tears,

All a dream.