broken

How, And Why?

Folder: 
Outlook

It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.

Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would. 
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't. 

I appreciate and love you for that.

I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found. 
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.

Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.

Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.

Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?

 

 

I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical. 
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?

And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see. 
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you. 
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?

 

To fix whats broken!

To Fix What’s Broken

 When were born our mothers smile light’s her face a glow

  She say’s were perfect from our head down to our toes

  But as we grow thing’s change and to much is left unspoken

  Oh to be able to go back in time and fix what’s broken

 But if it was that easy then there wouldn’t be any pain

No sorrow, no fear, of what lies ahead and nothing to gain

So here we are slightly wrinkled, and our hearts a cold dark place

try as hard as we can to iron it out, and thaw what’s been frozen

we try again and again to mend ourselves to fix what’s broken

but night after night we fall into bed to tired to keep up the pace

knowing full well that tomorrow our step’s we’ll have to retrace

someday I think to myself I wont feel so much pain no more emotion

and with no pain there will not be a need to go and fix what’s broken

Author's Notes/Comments: 

sometimes all we want is to fix what broke, hope you like this one!

View zoeycup16's Full Portfolio

Drifting Along

Folder: 
Heart of Love

I left home one summer
Carring my weakness in my hands,
My feet grew fond of every journey,
As i held my face high above the sea i faced nothing but sorrow,
From that day my future slipped away,
I ploughed my tears in every piece of land,
For that i traded my death for another day,
For one could taste for one could never want onother,
But beneath my luck nothing was a success,
No rain felled and all my seeds were ripped from the ground,
A promiscuous soul lay low from the ground and death blooms from its blood.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

An empty heart reveals nothing but sorrow.

View gavin_sebake's Full Portfolio
tags:

Distance

Folder: 
To My Wife

I would say I miss you

But you no longer care

You left long before your body

And left me alone with yourself

 

I'm always thinking of you

Everyone says you aren't worth it

Maybe they're right...

But I thought you were

 

I wish we could be “us” again

But do I truly miss you

Or simply the relationship we had?

I guess I'll never know

 

You've kept me at a distance

So far I'd never reach you

Now I suppose I've finally decided

To stop trying

Unrequited Puzzle Pieces

She bottled the impossible

With silent gestures she kept audible

While constantly perfecting improbable obstacles

She was always steady and volatile

Keeping reality optional

She moved in a way that was almost comical

Methodical in how she kept  herself intentionally watchable

She was an angel draped over something diabolical

 

But you see,

Her love, it was kind of clumsy

So before she could even share something

Her heart, it was already crumbling

But some how lucky

When most just stared dumbly

As people asked what could be done in tones quickly hushing

And were answered with nothing

She licked her lips and they tasted of honey

Then she knelt in a sunbeam and she began softly humming

As she put back together Humpty Dumpty

 

She was meticulous and neat

And she memorized each shattered piece

Right there in the street

She stayed on her knees like a priest

And as the light teased to the east

The beast eyed her technique

But didn't speak

A deep heat seeped through her cheeks

Time seemed to increase in speed then ease

 

Sweat glistened over her skin and muscles

She was deft and subtle

As she shuffled through the rubble

Trying to coax a whole from this puzzle

We call Humpty Dumpty

She was trouble

But Humpty, he thought she was lovely

See, when he was all about beneath her heels crunching

Thinking this is the end it must be

And is, there a special hell for his particular type of shell

Or just nothing

 

No matter where the end

She was able to put Humpty together again

She repaired him, but you see her intent it was just pretend

She filled in each crack with future revenge

Making a mortar of resentment mixed with torment

In a violent and bitter personal blend

That she could later rend and augment

Again and again

 

But, she stayed...and there were more falls

Never had one seen an egg so mauled

Humpty, he would fall then drink and drawl

He would scrawl small obscenities all over the wall

He would crawl to the top dripping ethanol

And scream about his cholesterol

And the proper protocol

For being a neanderthal

 

But, it turned out Humpty was jumping from the wall after all

Time after time just pissing

Missing the seat and painting the stall

Wheezing deep breaths of albuterol

While screaming who made him the intercontinental apostle

Made of Swedish meatballs from Montreal

For Humpty it seemed to be now, that lucidity was a fluid thing

And he was just barely able to forget his faults

With an hourly top off of propylene glycol

And Rubbing alcohol

In a way that couldn't really be considered sub-lethal

 

Instead of braving what might be  waiting

And facing down the sound at the end of the hall

Humpty became addicted to the whoosh and rush of the fall

He'd hide from the shame engraved in stains across his frame

By breaking and cracking his own skull

Always seeking the oblivion that called from the bottom of the wall

 

Now left alone with only pieces of him galled

She became used to her tears and the taste of their salt

The manic habit was static and so sad but too late to halt

Till one day she looked down at it all and

Couldn't find a single thing in her life by which she wasn't appalled

So she finally took all of Humpty’s pieces

And she mashed them into a lumpy little ball

That she placed upon her lap

As she sat atop the wall

 

Looking down wondering what it'd be like to fall

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is an allegorical analogy of true stuff. tell me what you think....

The Tree

As I walked down the road thinking,

How all hope had abandoned me...

I came up on a pitiful sight~

A bent, lonely and broken tree.

Tears fell from my eyes,

As I reflected on my life...

How much I felt like this tree~

Pitiful, broken and full of strife.

I sat down at the base,

Closed my eyes and begin to pray...

"Dear Lord, why did I give up.

And allow the strings of my heart to fray?"

He  answered with a whisper,

Like a soft and gentle wind...

You turned away from Me, my child~

But I promise this isn't the end."

He then went on to tell me,

To look at the top of the tree...

So I tilted my head skyward~

And saw two lovely green leaves!

Then God said "when you think you're alone

And feeling lonely broken and bent...

Look up to Me for reassuranc~

For My love is Heaven sent.

And like the two leaves,

That you now see...

I will ALWAYS be with you~

Especially when you're a broken and bent tree.

View kuntrypoet's Full Portfolio

Wonderland

 
 

I'm not in wonderland anymore 

I'm not Alice but lost and un pure
You never saw what I did hide
The death in my eyes of my painful lies 
But I did not give in so quick 
But you stood and watched as I got sick 
And i wasn't ill with physical ache 
It was my mind that was starting to break 
I didn't mean to fail, I didn't mean to cry 
But I allowed my lips to only speak lies 
But as the pain flooded through my eyes 
Suicide crept through my mind.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

if you wanted to see me break, you could of just asked?

View babypink's Full Portfolio
tags:

Birth of Something Beautiful

I sat at my desk and rubbed my eyes,

Rocking back and forth in my grey

Office chair. The coffee I drank caused my loins to

Burn so I stood up to take a leak.

 

Passing my bedroom mirror, I saw

My profile and noticed that

My chest was round and peacockish.

The burning moved from my groin

 

To my right hand. I grabbed an

Unfinished volume of my thoughts from the

Shelf and peeled back the skin. I found

My place (as I often do) and navigated

 

My Pilot across the strict ruled page.

Black streams of thought formed like

A fetus in the womb, kicking my insides.

My breathing was fast, then slowed to the

 

Rhythm of my heartbeat. I pushed.

What was on the inside was coming

out. I looked down at my son. My hand was

Limp and my chest concaved.

 

I am overcome with sorrow.
I do it again tomorrow.

View skylar541's Full Portfolio

No Angel

Folder: 
Dark

 

Stitched wings

Attached to frail bones

Darkened eyes

Lifeless as stone

Halo teetering

By uneven horns

Once a smile

Before being born

No color shown

Pallet a pasty pale

Never any sunshine

In a world so stale

Lips crusted over

From the words unspoken

Corrupted mind

In a soul that’s broken

View truthintragedies's Full Portfolio