When I look up in the sky
And I see your spirit soar
Mindful that I'm stuck down here
Thinking of before
I pray I cross your mind
As you sail among the clouds
And that you'll visit me
The next time you come around
I loved you with my all
But only pulled you down
I should've known my heart
Would keep you anchored on the ground
I've let you go, my dear
As you fly into the sky
I hope your fading thoughts of me
Will pass you by-and-by
You are going to leave,
Now I can hardly heave,
My burning soul,
Everything seems tedious and foul.
Please don’t go,
What my heart tells you,
How can you expect me to reside,
Without you by my side?
I can even live without food and water,
But I cannot live without you ever.
No longer do the lights brighten my day.
No longer do these wall make me feel safe inside.
No longer will this roof shelter my head.
No longer will this place hold me in.
No longer are these bed sheets calling my name.
No longer are these pillows dragging me to sleep.
No longer does this fridge hold food I desire.
No longer does this kitchen have me over for dinner.
No longer is the room owned by me.
No longer is this house a home for me.
I have a nomad, vagabond spirit,
And a silver strewn gypsy soul.
I'm finally ready to finally flee,
Finally ready, to finally go.
Caged overly, much too long,
Behind tainted and shattered glass,
I've gotten strong and broken out,
Away from that hurtful, painful past.
Now I'll just wander all around,
Without even much of a care,
But never, ever, ever in time,
Will I ever, go back to there.
I'll find my own beautiful path,
Then even blaze a few dozen more,
I'll tie purple silks, all up in my hair,
As on gauzy wings, I now shall soar.
See, its not that I'm such a rebel,
Just seeking all, I wasn't allowed to be.
I'm on a journey of new life and living,
With this yearning, gypsy side, of me.
I feel like every single thing is like a mind game, played and laid out for me
I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see
What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?
Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?
I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon
What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong
and now there is blood all over my hand
But I have no idea why, I just don't understand
This is a complication called the human mind
Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind
To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame
For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame
Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose
It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.
So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor
I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door
And you can echo your goodbyes
as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..
Please just don’t leave me alone
In the dark, with my dreams
Alone, forgotten, lost
Dying with a broken smile on the mask
That covers my face
With a lying mirror
Showing a picture that isn’t me
That isn’t how I feel
Laugh to yourself
All the while thinking that I’m fine
While I die inside
I dreamnt of you last night, beautiful and free you were.
I had you in my sight last night, for a moment i did stirr
Wondering if you were really there or if you were to go away
Hoping your existence was reality in my present as there I lay
I thought maybe I had finally woken up from my nightmere
Only to find that it was all a dream and too much to bare.
I pray for you to come to me at night in any form
Then you do and my emotions roll in like a storm
At moments I struggle to hear your voice in my head
To visualize your movement or lying next to me in bed
Bitter sweet it is, to hear your voice and see you move
Knowing that when my eyes open wide, I yet again will lose
YOU is where where I want to be and where I've always been
YOU were my partner, my lover and my friend
Lately Mom's been drinking
while laid up in her bed.
And dad looks overwhelmed
Like this is all over his head.
My brother keeps on stealing
and the little one is starting to follow.
Am I the only sane one?
With the chance of reaching tomorrow.
Sometimes I want to abandon them,
even though I know thats wrong.
But I can't keep dealing with this,
Its already been too long.
It doesn't even seem like we love each other
More like a resentful toleration.
And now I'm dipping into Momma's liqour supply
but only in moderation.
We used to seem pretty happy and normal
as we posed for a family photo.
Taken back before we started hitting rock bottom
that's back where I want to go.
Now Daddy's talking about he's leaving
and momma doesn't seem to care.
I wish I knew were he was going and so does he,
he'll figure it out when he gets there.
Sometimes I feel as though I can't hold them together
as if they're slipping between my fingertips.
Not caring that they are making us all cry
and ignoring the pleas from my lips.
Sometimes I wish I was so much stronger
So I could force them to stay.
But even I'm starting to realize that
This isn't where they want to be at the end of the day.
They're always fight about money
Constantly saying that we never have enough.
But even then family should stick together
When the road and life get tough.
People are always complimenting how we look happy
in pictures, imagine my surprise.
But I guess that they don't know
That Family Portraits Only Capture Lies.
I built you a tower, a tower to the sun,
Come away, we'll go, together, we'll run.
Made of mirrors and reflecting glass,
We leave behind a dismal past.
The cities becoming specks, atomic,
The suns soft whisper is a goddess, iconic.
As we rise above the stars,
I feel divine, void of scars.
I touch the sun, it's warmth embracing,
I feel your heart, it's savage, racing.
A world below, so madly writhed,
We become one with this light, saying goodbye.