PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.

Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would. 
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't. 

I appreciate and love you for that.

I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found. 
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.

Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.

Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.

Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?

I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical. 
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?

And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see. 
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you. 
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?

in what dark recesses of torture remain

exists a dreaded seed for us to obtain

to keep us sane and deliver us from evil

so goes the creed of an everlasting people

unending doubt resonates to be

impermanance rooted in an everlasting dream

scarcity of hope glimmering in dusk

prevention of fortune in a world of luck

forever told from stories past

eerily reminiscent of perpetual task

systems of new destroyed wisdom once known

for all apart of a world unsown

grimmace and malice plagued once more

in dire times that conjured vile scorn

but it was hope that was given once last chance

now grows a tree from the seed of our past

I think about you every day,

these memories never seem

to go away,

I know its you who I love the most,

I'm going to have to live with these

feelings for the rest of my life

Always worrying about what happened

to you; if I caused you to suffer.

Wondering if you ever think about me in

the way I think about you

I hope you live a good life,

I wish I could tell you that I love you

but I'll never get to see you again anyways

I wrote this poem, only for you and no one else,

because your the only one that I love deep down

I've had dreams about you that we meet again,

when I see people that look like you, I immediately think of you,

it causes me much pain.

These feelings are never going away,

always in my heart will you remain

Life is not fair

and often denies you what you want most

You are always reminded of your failures

you can never escape your past

Love will imprison you for life,

but I would not have it any other way.

I am worried about you,

As a father becomes tense of his daughter’s safety,

The same thing happens to me too,

Since you are my everything literally.

Whenever you are alone and far away,

Like Oskar's drum in The Tin Drum my heart starts beating,

Since eve teasers taunt the beautiful girls everyday,

I keep on thinking about your wellbeing.

Like a Trojan soldier I pray to God for your safety,

While solitary I am in this secluded city!

I’m alone in a darkened room

Laying curled up on the floor

With silence haunting; heavy clouds

The rain bleeds down, ever more.

The cold air slithers round

 Wrapping its eager piercing claws

Around my throat, so tightly bound

Numbing my heart of everything but flaws

Tears stream like rivers

Out of my blackened waterfall spouts

Damning the world of happiness

While I’m living in my world of doubt

This floor is cracked and jaded

This soul a mirror of what’s felt

Erasing all the good that lay prints

Searching for hidden sunshine to melt

comfortably nestled in between two rocks 

above the stillness overlooking the small village

flattened black tar rooftops

steep cobblestone paved streets

winding around the southern tip of the mountain

a bicycle ride away

too far to touch the bitter memories

my gaze is locked into a numbing trance

time stands still

12:49 AM 7/6/2013 ©

...........

when all confidence has left you,

and you feel bereft of love,

forsaken by those who claimed they cared,

that's when i'll fit you like a glove.

i'll wait behind your neediness,

and use arrogance, he's my friend,

i'll have you projecting all of me 

onto children, women, and men.

that's when i do my finest work,

and all of me i'll bring,

when others up and leave you,

i'll infect you, and do my thing.

my presence will be cunning,

my manipulation sly,

i'll have you wrapped around me,

you won't even ask yourself why.

the more of you i can consume,

the larger we become,

to contaminate all is what i want,

'cause YOUR pain, to me, is FUN!

a fiendish scowling wimp, you see,

a psychopath, my dear,

enjoying all your suffering,

your kidnapper...i'm fear.

10:07 AM 6/22/2013 ©

fear is the king 

of a coward's delight,

fear rules illusions

that cloud all fools' sight,

fear wants compliance

adoration and praise,

fear becomes arrogance

when you challenge his gaze,

turning the tables around 

can be bliss,

when I make friends with fear

his intentions I twist,

fear uses everyone

and makes them his slaves,

fear turns the souls 

of some dead in their graves,

fear teases weaknesses 

of youth and of old,

fear changes hearts of warmth

into stone cold,

fear is the god 

that brings glory to killing,

fear is the god 

that makes the spineless willing,

motivation of many is controlled by fear,

due to principles twisted,

and virtues unclear,

many will use fear,

unwilling to see,

their fears are controlling them

clear as can be,

if ever you see one who 

worries too much,

believe it is fear that is

gaining their trust,

fear is a mirror

when we've lost our way,

that tells us "forget love, honey...

I'm your hero...please stay?"

misguided people fall into fear's rut,

they slip and fall in,

losing touch with their gut,

banish your worries

and live in the now,

To strongarm your fears,

honeybun, this is how!!

6:57 PM 6/19/2013 ©