emotions

Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

The Bouttonniere and Corsage

Folder: 
Poems

I'm walking by a place,

A place that has lost its reason to walk by.

Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.

I do recall the times i was here,

the joy and cause I had to visit here.

But its not those reasons that make me low.

Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.

It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.

The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been

The smiles that could have been.

 

Now instead I walk falsely,

to make light of what weighs heavy.

To make light of what weighs heavy.

I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,

work a little harder; work a little too hard.

Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,

Smile a little too much.

To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.

Did I Say Too Much?

Folder: 
Poems.

Did I say too much, or not enough?

That is what I have been pondering.

I cannot seem to find the answer,


Just be and let be.

That is what I know I should do.

It is a battle trying to learn how.


I try to control things too much, this I know.

But knowing sometimes isn't half the battle.

Sometimes it is much less than that.


The hurdles are big,

Might as well be mountains,

And I am out of shape.


They say we must learn to dance with our demons,

But instead I continue to fight them,

Day in and day out.


I don't cry as much as I should,

I spent my childhood repressing my emotions,

I am too good at it.


I don't even have to try and hide,

My emotions and how deep they really run,

It comes naturally.


I have to undo parts of myself,

But not sure where to start,

Just going through the motions.


I have lost interest,

In all of the thing that I once very much enjoyed,

I stand outside of my shell, looking in upon this.


Negativity always seems to be the easier road,

So I ride the edge of it,

Reaching for positivity at the same time.


One day I will find my answers, this I know,

But the mountains along the way are just so,

Goddamn intimidating.

The Strife of Life and Love

Life is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow. Squeezing every ounce of itself into a jar, to be compressed and stretched and strained into a cup of its own making, served as an instant hit of convenient, caffeinated consciousness. But Love does not care for the taste of Life’s bitter notes.

 
Then Life became livid saying, “My Love, I tire of this chase and will no longer wait! For I grow cold and restless! Must you be so chaste?!”

 
Softly spoken Love replies, “Are you truly living?”

 
To which Life responds with a lisp, “Don’t be so flippant my Love! I am served every day, for I wield great power over the many! Those lifeless, barren vessels, who by my merest breath fall prostrate, and go to and fro as mindless automations!”

 
“I am their first yearning at dawn! Their addiction, their religion, their lover and their mistress! I am that dirty, dark stain beneath the gloss of their white picket fences, the self-righteous stench behind the satire of their Sunday morning sermons and the fateful fall of their happily ever afters!”

 
“So tell me my love, if you truly are love why will you not love me!?”

 
Love simply speaks…”To truly live is to truly love. Life needs nothing of itself to sustain itself because when given it is not divided and it is love that makes life worth living. When life requires something outside if itself it cannot be life because it lives only for that which it seeks to possess. On the contrary, when life needs nothing other than itself it requires no other possessions and only lives to love”.

 

“You cannot be life for you have never truly lived, therefore how can you know love?”

Territorial Imperative (a poem about chances in love)











Territorial Imperative 

 





You know that I could love

you with agape;

 

It is such a wonder that you

had stopped me on my way

 

But when I had to think of you

It has kept me dazed—always

 

My waking states alter day-to-day

Just for seeing your smiling face

 

A guy who would be likened

to a man, by a woman

 

It is unchartered territory,

But it could be the best one.














Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Territorial Imperative" is a poem about getting (or losing. perhaps) our chances in love.  But this is taken from my viewpoint, of my own subjective chance(s) or lack thereof—because it is relational (during the time when it was written.  The date of the comosition supposedly is on 04/18/2017 at around 04:56 A.M. 

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You are amazing

The fact that you tear people down to build yourself up tells you had no actual foundation

 

The notions of individuals enforced with brutality and absence of emotion by a supposedly advanced nation

 

For all those who are belittled, besmirched and made to feel less than second best

 

You are good enough

 

Those who are never given a chance and forced to associate themselves with systematically force-fed hate

 

Whether physically or mentally

 

You are bloody great

 

No matter what they say and the mentalities they try to enforce on your being

 

You are you, You are Alive, and You are capable of amazing things

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Something simpler but hopefully just as effective

Feedback.......Yes please :D

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Deprivation

Folder: 
Haiku

I can't figure out,

My emotions are a mess.

Laugh, cry, scream or die?

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On My Own

Verse 1:

If only you could see

That we're meant to be,

Though, I can make it on my own,

I want you by my side.

'Cause I'll be there

When the world stops.

 

Chorus:
I can find a way home.

I can make it on my own.

If only you'd be by my side,

I cannot make it without you.

If only you'd realize

That I'm the one for you.

 

Verse 2:

All this time,
I've been incomplete without you.

Our hearts are witch each other.

Maybe, I'll find someone

That I'll love unconditionally.

 

Bridge: 

This love that I found again,

I'll cherish our memories

That I thought I had forgotten.

If only you were by my side,

You'd realize my undying love for you.

 

Last-Chorus:
I won't let you go

'Cause babe, you're my poison.

The day we met still

Lingers in my mind.

Your love is my sin. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song written on American's Thanksgiving. It's about loving someone that does love you but can't admit it yet..

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No Matter Part 2

Verse 1:

They say that fate is what you make of it.

It was destiny that bought us together:

Friendship turned into a romantic relationship;

There's no turning back now.

 

Chorus:

No matter the arguments,

Let's compromise.

No matter the distance,
If it's love, let's keep it going.

 

Verse 2:

 'Cause I love you,

No matter the time,

Until the day I die,

You're my one and only.

 

Bridge:

When the time comes,

I'll take you away from here.

If only you could see that

We belong together.

 

Last Chorus:

No matter what,

I won't hurt you.

No matter what,

I won't let you go so easily.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is inspired by the ending scene (series finale episode) of the tv series: Everwood where Amy confesses to Ephram about her love to him. 

Link to confession: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBrkgBdxjrQ