When in doubt, take a knife
Slice it across the vein along the wrist
Don't go soft, make it count
Make that shit bleed
Watch as it pours over the skin
Do you feel it?
Do you feel any different?
Probably not!
Feeling that coldness along your cheeks
That's still not enough
The tiled floor is within reach
Do you feel it?
Do you feel different?
Probably not!
The knife is still within your hand
Slide it along both your thighs
Make it bleed
Come on now
Don't be a baby
You want it to go away
You know how to do it
Not once, not twice, three times is nice
You're beginning to feel it now
All that pain is starting to ease
The wall is crumbling
The salt pouring along your lips
Yes, let it all out
If this isn't enough and you've had enough
Let the cold water cover the skin
Relax and lay back
Let it all out
Take your last breath cause it's time
Now you are going cold
Do you feel any better?
I'm sure you do
No more pain
No more complaints and disappointments
No more worries
Now just hope you end up where you want to go
taglamig
(former reedited title: taglamig,
at siya lang kaya ang dahilan?)
nung una pa lang,
ako'y namangha na
sa iyong ginagawa
ako rin ay lubusang
natutuwa sa matimyas
na hitsura ng iyong mukha
tila isa kang dalagang
pumukaw sa aking damdamin
iyong wangis parati
ang nasasalamin
bagkus, malayo ang ating agwat
bakit tila ako'y hindi papa-awat?
dahil kaya'y nasa lugar ka
na isa sa pinakagusto kong
puntahan at tirahan?
o baka naman itong
mismong lugar ko na tinitirahan
ay wala namang laman?
h'wag sana magpapahalata
ang langit sa aking kisame,
ang masulyapan ka'y
para itong asul sa taas,
kaniyang pisngi
ngayong Taglamig na
sa ating mga bayan o kanayunan,
kakaiba talaga ang aking
nararamdaman
sapagkat nasaan ka man,
sa trabaho mo o sa kaniyang
piling man,
marahil wala ng magagawa
ang tulad ko kundi
ang ipagdasal ang iyong
tanging kaligayahan.
Afraid to love again!
Back when i was married i didnt know love would hurt like this
my mind became a cold dark place of which i couldnt dismiss
i tried to change him into a better man but that was all in vain
its hard to think of love these days because im afraid to love again
i spent a lot of lonely years building up a wall all around my heart
but that didnt help me no not one bit and it wasnt vert smart
it was all i could think to do for my heart to keep away the pain
because to try again would be a mistake afraid to love again
and as the years came and went my lonelyness grew and grew
as i watched others it made me realize finding love was overdo
so stepping out of my comfort zone i broke that proverbial chain
then i smile and say to myself no longer afraid to love again
Zoeycup
i miss all the decisions i didn’t make
and i still kind of want to know the color of your eyes
every day you wake up without me
there is a song that gets me through so many days
and i wrote out all the lyrics in a message to you
still unsent
because how am i supposed to get through days
and not come home asking you to hold me
how am i supposed to have something to celebrate
and not have you be the first one i tell
call me crazy when the lights go out
i send the stars some letters but they will never reach you
I paint my wishes on your walls with glow in the dark paint-
it’s still not enough
you never turn the lights off
Happily ever after doesn’t exist.
Not when people like you also exist.
I bought myself a new suit of armor so you don’t drive another knife in my back.
I told the vendor to hold the stallion because human legs were never for aesthetic purposes.
I wanted to walk the face of the Earth with you using my own.
We would’ve walked more than a thousand miles together to chase the sun and avoid the night.
And I never needed to worry about my tired legs.
They built up a tolerance from walking in the coastal sand and helping me keep up with dirty dishes.
I told you about my demons and how quickly I am to care when I’m shown an act of kindness.
Mother always lectured me that no matter how small they may be, they are never in vain.
But there is such a thing as being too kind. There is such a thing as temptation.
The best of us cave in once, twice, or maybe more than that when we write in our diaries.
You were like such a book to me and I trusted you, but never did I expect that you’d defile my soul
By persuading me to partake in activities that I would never in my right mind do.
I should have recalled the fable of a girl who trusted a poltergeist that haunted a similar diary.
Had I not flee the moment I saw your true character, I would have joined her in death.
Looking back, I understand that diaries are the keys to starting fires and turning innocents into fugitives.
You can try with all your might to pry my mouth open to get me to spill any more beans
But my lips are staying sealed because I know who you really are and I finally learned my lesson.
You never exposed me. You only leaked a chapter that was part of a book you never read.
So why bother showing it to you knowing that my real friends and family will be endangered as well?
I know that a deluded man gambled away so much ammo to the vipers that he became a trainwreck.
I swear on my recurring nightmares that any answers to your questions will be used against me.
Truth and justice is a concept invented by people and after all, people do make mistakes.
God bless the right to remain silent.
Because even the condemned understand that its value supersedes a vault of gold
That the draconian blackjack dealers steal from the poor that desire to play with them.
Where was Robin Hood when I needed him most?
Flash forward to a single year and I’m now twenty-five with an art degree in hand.
I’ve spent all that time studying my ass off and avoiding the vipers that plague my past.
I was with my true friends who never give a shit about your deceit when I realized I never needed you.
Preparing for financial exams under the tutelage of a bright mathematician was like you never existed.
So the next time you see me, I won’t grovel on the pavement begging you to take me back.
Instead, I’ll look the other way and French kiss my new admirer in front of you.
Just to let you know that I changed for the better and you missed out on the life we could’ve had.
I am fortunate to understand that your absence last summer turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I dare you to call me an idiot again!
I dare you to call me a chicken!
I dare you to say that I’m going down
While you hide behind the blackjack dealers that love you for show!
There’s always someone out there willing to give you a taste of your own medicine anyway.
How did it feel when even Discordia didn’t want anything to do with you?
Was it salty and sour like your attitude and your deceit?
Cavities caused by the consumption of these candies are a pain for dentists to fill.
And just like that, you disappeared from the face of the Earth again. Hopefully, for good this time.
You can erase your identity from the world, but you cannot erase the marks your venom left behind.
You may still be on my mind from time to time, but I don’t see you in a virtuous light anymore.
You are nothing but a fable.
You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.
You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.
Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.
Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.
It should’ve been the other way around.
In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,
It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.
I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.
Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.
That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.
I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.
I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.
I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.
You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.
You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.
You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.
You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.
You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.
All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.
You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.
How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I could let you know when you get it to turn on.
But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?
Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.
You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”
It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.
Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.
Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?
If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.
The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.
You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.
But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,
I realize that I am never alone.
They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.
One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.
What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.
There's something in the moon tonight. I feel it in the air. The dew is shining bright tonight. I notice something there. In the distance people sleep tonight. My mind is never scared. The shadows are my friends tonight. Alone in the dark I stare. Under street lamps I stand alone tonight. Cool wind blowing through my hair. Over here the secrets lay tonight. Leave me, they won't dare. My thoughts paint the trees tonight. They stand tall and fair. Cement below my feet tonight. These streets, they lay me bare.
Better to be alone
Im tired of getting lied too and hurt every time I find a friend
Not one of those so-called friends I’ve had on which I could depend
Sometimes I think it would be best to never have a single one
Then you won’t ever be hurt again for its better to be alone
They’ll fake a smile all the while there stabbing you in the back
They’ll twist the knife that’s in your spine just like a maniac
They’ll take advantage of your mental state and cut you to the bone
That’s when you’ll realize deep down inside it’s better to be alone
So take my advice never trust anyone or you will feel my pain
Then you’ll realize you were better off and have nothing left to gain
So never make friends with anyone and live life on your own
And then you’ll never again be hurt for its better to be alone…..
I can't let anyone inside,
they keep trying to stay in stride,
with me they fall behind,
I don't know myself and what I'll find.
It all hurts now,
it throbs away inside every day.
The pain is physical now,
it won't end unless I can say...
that I am done,
that I have control,
that I won't let it rule my world,
no, not anymore.
It's not easy,
to bend and not to break,
I wish you could see me,
that this is more than I can take.