alone

Tonight

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Poems.

There's something in the moon tonight. I feel it in the air. The dew is shining bright tonight. I notice something there. In the distance people sleep tonight. My mind is never scared. The shadows are my friends tonight. Alone in the dark I stare. Under street lamps I stand alone tonight. Cool wind blowing through my hair. Over here the secrets lay tonight. Leave me, they won't dare. My thoughts paint the trees tonight. They stand tall and fair. Cement below my feet tonight. These streets, they lay me bare.

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it's better to be alone!

        Better to be alone

Im tired of getting lied too and hurt every time I find a friend

Not one of those so-called friends I’ve had on which I could depend

Sometimes I think it would be best to never have a single one

Then you won’t ever be hurt again for its better to be alone

They’ll fake a smile all the while there stabbing you in the back

They’ll twist the knife that’s in your spine just like a maniac

They’ll take advantage of your mental state and cut you to the bone

That’s when you’ll realize deep down inside it’s better to be alone

So take my advice never trust anyone or you will feel my pain

Then you’ll realize you were better off and have nothing left to gain

So never make friends with anyone and live life on your own

And then you’ll never again be hurt for its better to be alone…..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this one because i have a hard time making a friend and keeping one!!! 

                 zoeycup

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My Efforts Just Leave Me In Welts

Folder: 
Poems.

Here I am again,

totally caving in,

with everything crashing around me,

it's getting very hard to see.

 

I can't let anyone inside,

they keep trying to stay in stride,

with me they fall behind,

I don't know myself and what I'll find.

 

It all hurts now,

it throbs away inside every day.

The pain is physical now,

it won't end unless I can say...

 

that I am done,

that I have control,

that I won't let it rule my world,

no, not anymore.

 

It's not easy,

to bend and not to break,

I wish you could see me,

that this is more than I can take.

 

I often feel alone now,

because I don't deal like everyone else,

they smile and get by now,

but my efforts just leave me in welts.

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Alone [Fiverse: Poem of Five Lines]

Alone


Solitary stone


Have I become


No feelings, no love

 

No hatred, I know of

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tags:

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas

By jfarrell

 

Happy Christmas to you all.

What does Christmas mean to you?

 

A red suited gentleman and his menagerie

Breaking into your home and eating all your mince pies?

A tinseled christmas tree

With a golden, silver-winged angel sat atop?

Sat around the dining table,

With several generations of your family?

Pulling crackers, carving and sharing the turkey;

Too much food and playing charades after dinner?

A baby born into poverty many years ago,

To grow, to be crucified for us?

Awake all night, too excited to sleep….

If I stay awake, even just one eye… I might see santa…

 

Whatever Christmas means to you…

The very merriest of Christmas’s and may the next year be your best yet.

 

And if, like me, you’re alone…

Or worse…

Sleeping on the streets…

And where-ever’s worse than that…..

 

Don’t give up!

You’re not alone, however much you feel you are.

Christmas is the time for miracles…

Don’t give up!

 

Happy christmas to you all and the best year ever!

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a very very merry Christmas to everyone, and may this coming year be your best yet, in every way ;-)

Loneliness

Loneliness is being in the room with your love,

And realizing that there is no love in the room.

 

Loneliness is having a nightmare in bed,

And rolling over to realize that the dream was warmer than real life.

 

When I needed you

You weren't there

When I had to trust you

You broke my trust

When I held you up

You knocked me down

When I gave you everything

You took it all away

 

Loneliness is wanting to be understood,

But realizing that no-one else

Has the time or patience to discover

Who you really are

Thoughts On Natural Solitude

As I walk through forests

Dark and deep

I notice the song therein

Birds in their nests

Joyously welcoming their newborns

Foxes padding quietly to their dens

Squirrels barking and playing like children

 

I often stop and fall silent

Away from the illusion

Of control and importance

We create in our world

 

Here, I belong

Here, I'm not all-important

There is a peacefulness

That creeps into my soul

And douses the painful fires

Of self that I let burn hot

 

Walking through the trees

Listening to the softly falling rain

Just to live, to Be

Not as nature's conqueror

But as a spectator in a beautiful world

To stand alone in silence

To contemplate, I AM

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Lost my temper

Lost my temper

By jfarrell

 

I was 12 last time I lost my temper; I’m 49 now;

My friend, Andrew, in the children’s home,

Told me, he’s being discharged; I’d never see him again;

I attacked, and beat the crap outta another kid, in the home.

 

At 15, my children’s home was closed down violently;

My sister and I were separated; not that we were close before;

I saw the cycle - how my dad comes home drunk, beats up everyone;

I saw my being bullied at school; I’d come home bully her.

 

12 to 49 is a long way with no friends; and family I’m scared to go near;

Online friends is the closest I can get to friends? Or, cats?

What a sad, so very sad loser I must be!!!!!

Pathetic waste of space!

 

Wallowing, consumed, drowning in my bubble;

I have hurt people along the way, not bad, not violent;

And I never meant to; I always tried to do right;

37 years later, I still haven’t lost my temper.

 

But, maybe if I had taken that risk, that chance,

I wouldn’t be alone, and so permanently alone as I feel;

I haven’t lost my temper in 37 years, should I feel proud of that?

Or should I revel in the solitude? Always alone…

 

Having no-one,

i can hurt no-one.

Bad, anyway

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

if this is another step forward in recovery, i must be a black-belt ju-jitsu, capacle of somersaulting through the air while shooting 2 machine guns, keanu reeves, matrix style - just not dressed so good - or.... am i still just a alcoholic?

ooooh, ooooh, bottle of beer needs opening :-) be right back :-)

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All I Ever Asked

All I ever asked was for love
To be loved for who I am
All I ever wanted was to love
To have someone take me by the hand
All I ever wished was to be loved
To give everything that I am
But all I ever really had was none

 

Sleepless nights. Scared of the dark.
Cry myself to sleep. With an empty broken heart.
I wished I could break free. But I'm broken and on my knees.
Frozen to the core. I dreamt I hurt and bleed.

 

Believing I was worth it.
But all I ever am was worthless.
I wished I could be right beside you.
Yet I'll always be right there behind you
I pray that I could have someone.
To love for the rest of my years.
Though all my hope has gone.
For my prayers have fallen on deaf ears.

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