past

Lies Ahead!

lies ahead                     
from a distance we all look fine as normal as anyone can be
but look beyond that anyone can fake a smile for all to see
as i walk down this winding road full of uncertainties left unsaid
just when i think ive reached the end another more rough path lies ahead
life isnt always what you think for some it can be a hard pill to swallow
but one wrong decision or choice you make leaves you feeling so very hollow
they say careful what you wish for i say wishes are just dreams we have instead
but all we ever need for certain is to know in our hearts what lies ahead
someday we might know such things but for now here we are stuck in our own mind
praying and mindlessly walking thru life waiting for our lives to be refined
one things for certain that i found to be true and has given me a new hope instead
life is what you make of it so keep it real and don't worry about what lies ahead

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is one of many things i struggle with lol i should take my own advice, hope you like it

 

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tags:

The Seed

in what dark recesses of torture remain

exists a dreaded seed for us to obtain

to keep us sane and deliver us from evil

so goes the creed of an everlasting people

 

unending doubt resonates to be

impermanance rooted in an everlasting dream

scarcity of hope glimmering in dusk

prevention of fortune in a world of luck

 

forever told from stories past

eerily reminiscent of perpetual task

systems of new destroyed wisdom once known

for all apart of a world unsown

 

grimmace and malice plagued once more

in dire times that conjured vile scorn

but it was hope that was given once last chance

now grows a tree from the seed of our past

Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

Trying to put the past behind

Trying to put the past behind!!!   

My past has always been here in the front of me

Always first never last ever vigil never free

It stays within my sights taunting me always unkind

With every breath I take im trying to put the past behind

Some days are easier and some are impossible to do

But I keep going one step maybe two I haven’t a clue

Maybe I will reach the other side of my past in my mind

With every beat of my heart im trying to put the past behind

I plead to God to take the painful memories far far away

But I think Im cursed because here they are and here they stay

But maybe there just a reminder of who I was back then

Maybe they remain to remind me to never go back there again

Going back would mean ive failed to have my past confined

So with every part of me im trying to put the past behind

 

                 Zoeycup 16

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is one I wrote because im trying to do just that put my past behind me...very hard thou

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Solitary night

 
 
Solitary night
 
tears of dissatisfaction
 
choking on memories
 
a torrent as the dark presses in
 
Searching, seeking
 
the long-awaited slumber
 
of each miserable, useless regret of yesterday
 
Yet, afraid to face the uncertainty of tomorrow
 
 
 

Not Soon Forget

Folder: 
2018

She is

for better or worse

someone you will not soon forget.

She is trying to make me

someone like that too.

 

I stand in all her ways

I straighten my shoulders I cover my arms

I make my lips a muscle I know I can control

not like the mess the weeks after when I could still hear his footsteps under mine.

She makes me think in the good ways,

she keeps me from thinking the bad ways

it’s like I suddenly notice I have not thought about how much sleep I’m losing

any night I lie with her whispering.

 

When she asks a question I want to be able to answer without thinking

but thinking is not something I can leave by the roadside

especially when it comes to her

and as I walk by

she says

you thought I wouldn't notice that slaughterhouse inside your window.

You thought I wouldn’t notice how you were standing here with too many words

waiting to be pried open.

 

Oh, how I wish you wouldn’t notice.

 

How I wish I could make these memories only the past and not the present

but it is hard to pick up the pieces of yourself

and build them into something you never were.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 3/13/18

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Once

Folder: 
2018

The silence strains and bends and breaks

the distance more than a lifeline…

you are

someone I knew once.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 3/12/18

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Nostalgia

Folder: 
Poems.

Finding myself longing for the past,

That fleeting moment I was with you,

The scent of your cologne,

And your sheltered embrace.

Finding myself desiring contact,

To reach out and call you mine,

Not knowing what happened,

Finding myself far away.

The words you spoke,

The manner in which you made me feel,

I yearn for your presence,

Just once more.

Dreaming about us,

Never wishing to wake up,

It's the only place we can meet,

Anticipating our next encounter.

Discouraged is how I feel,

Upon waking up,

Finding I hadn't dreamt of you,

Taking a moment to remember our last.

Coping without you,

Something I didn't imagine I'd have to do,

Our meeting was brief,

But there's an imprint left from you.

Milking the past,

To nurture the present,

It's how I get by,

Without your essence.

Fey

Folder: 
Tales and Fables

The heart within me turned to stone

Like a wolf pack's lonesome cries

Darkness woven in my bones

But starlight fading in my eyes

I hear the whispers in the trees

A wisp's song fluttering on the breeze

But ne'er will I go home again

Ne'er will I go

 

I heard the call of maiden fair

But swore again I'd go not there

My lonesome crying in the night

Has formed me as a sullen wight

Oh cursed fairy! How could you lead

A child to such an awful deed

For ne'er can I return again

Ne'er to return

 

Alone at last, my will is done

Now, forever this must be

Before my mind be overrun

To hurt no more, my final plea

My past is lost, the future nigh

My story dead on sands of time

To home I must return again

Again I must turn home

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