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Were my life to just cease,

Would it even be a great loss?

Or would their grief, for me,

Be so hard to come across?

Would any weeping ensue,

With a heart that's so aching?

From their guilt of the years,

Convinced I, was only faking?

And would they even feel sorry,

For tossing me carelessly away?

For breaking my aching heart?

For causing me, such dismay?

Will they realize how I've hurt,

Because of their frequent inactions?

For blaming me for it all?

And for contrived-false infractions?

I feel buried-cold and forgotten,

Despite how hard I have tried.

Because nowadays, it's like,

..........I've. Already. Died.

I’m easy to forget.
I try hard,
To be remembered…
But I don’t mind.

You are not the first,
And not the last,
To sleep in the bed of amnesia,
And forget.

Forget the days,
Of love and laughter,
Of hopelessness and despair,
When we tore each other apart,
But held each other together.

But do remember,
The forgotten never forget.
So when you wish to recall,
Just ask,
And I’ll be happy to remind.

We look out into the distance and see,

Flying down is a beautiful bird,

I am unsure of its species and appearance,

However, as we sit and admire I doubt I have ever seen anything so beautiful,

As the majesty swoops down near the green grass,

Than ascends towards her blue sky.

Some time passes and our bird friend appears to have abandoned us,

He has fled perhaps somewhere sunnier as the black clouds begin to close in,

Out of the corner a new bird appears,

A black silhouette, an ominous shadow,

He too, swoops down near the green grass,

Than ascends towards his dark sky.

Again a period of time passes and another bird chooses to leave us behind,

But yet again another appears and the storm comes to a close,

With this one the sky has balanced, and the full beauty of the world can be seen,

It flies in and out of the green grass, tiptoeing its way through the field,

It is perfect, the perfect bird and the perfect bird,

It too ascends towards the sky and leaves us behind however.

Perhaps the right bird is none at all, for they will always find a greener pasture.

I cannot figure out my problem,

I sit alone in my room.

and for once I’d like to think my parents were right-

I’m fine, just 13.

I understand why I’m afraid of heights

I am afraid of being  towered over,

looking past me to someone else,

I am forgotten.

Years later, I am only known when being seen in the wrong light,

I am only seen on the TV,

or the jury look at me,

I see the blood on my hands,

the prosecutor cannot let me see more land,

I am scared for my fate,

I act like I am without a care,

I don’t think the death penalty is fair.

I opened my eyes another day seeing only

the same endless ocean. This beautiful,

disheartening endless ocean.

A ship with the possibilities to be seen for

many miles. Yet, the oceans waves taunt me

with its excessive, dramatic waves.

Concealing me from the eyes of others.

This ocean; my best friend, my enemy. The

reason I have discovered the woes of

isolation.

Daily I wake up with a heart's desire to see

land, to move onward in my life's journey.

The oceans jealousy believes its memories

will be lost, but never. I vow! Caring

nothing for my hearts desire, yet it

mocks me with possibilities. Possibilities

that I might one day feel and experience what is now only memories.

my months spent crying, pleading, full of

hateful anger changed nothing. As I awoke

my eyes each morning was locked on the

same blue ocean floor. Deep waves, cool

breezes, moving deep sea passer-bys of the unknown.

I potentially die from the thought of

marriage to this mountain of beautiful

misery.

Years of plotting my escape proved to b

e act of a dreamer, not a doer.

My heart has grown numb and in my numbness, its torture lacks the effect it once had. I scream to all, my voice stripped and dry, barely heard by even the wind.

the silence of my unheard words replaced with the crashes of ocean waves; I will never submit.

Even while my knees have bent and come closer and closer to the panels of stained wood. 

I seemingly lose the courage to keep with my

vow to never submit, yet my vow to leave

this prison of cumbersome water has

engulfed me in disillusion.

In my lucid thoughts, I mumble of its

devilish games. The games that I will never willingly accept.

I listen to its illustrious melody. I am its mistress, a

the battle that seems impossible.

I am lost...

I am weak...

I will FIGHT till death approaches me.

I'll never forget 
I remember when 
Forever meant eternity not;
Until you found a better me. 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
You said you love 
Me for Me 
Not for who I was 
or 
For who i will become 
I'll never forget 
I remember when
We talked everyday 
About everything
About Nothing 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
Phone calls where hours long 
not seconds fast and done 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
I Love You 
Was said 'cause you 
meant it 
Not 'cause you though
you had to say it back
I'll never forget 
I remember 
All the lies 
I'll never ever forget

Where have they gone? There's no words to make clear,

They escape my every attempt to secure their discovery.

Lost without direction, wading aimlessly in the obyss,

They stand silent, awaiting any chance of recovery.

Some wait alone, some hold together in darkness,

Others seem to flock like nestling birds...

Many are lost, never to be found, yet we still cry...

"Where are the words?"

My bones lay cold under the rock where the water runs brisk. Preserved for years to be found a day when last I know to be at risk. No sound to be found, so quiet, so dark. Trapped before, trapped now, never at peace, let me die please. Forget my sorrows, let there be no tomorrow, I thought god at least in death, would have given me no unsweet sorrow.     By Rob Casteel

Sunshine from time to time when not hidden as if I was pinned to a crime. My shadow dark never leaving my side dragging me down always making me cry. My first memories blamed for things done to me, not knowing to keep or release from me. People bad never sorry for my sorrow, sometimes I wish for no tomorrow. 

By Rob Casteel