O Lover,
how can you run
past the rhymes that slip through the creases
in your palms only to
etch them into my memory?
Yesterday
time sank fangs into my ankle, left tattoos
like heartbreak. You touched my face
and I stepped back,
out of reach.
I took her hand
and poured gold in her veins.
There was nothing more I could do.
She let the glass fall with a flick of her wrist,
condensing the air to an acrid twitch
and rendering my vision to pinpoints as
I watch the reflection of her eyes careen to earth.
Will you reach your hand up to my cheek
and read the wounds you stashed inside my corneas?
Or will you stare at the echoes at our feet
until my hand reaches for yours
across this shattered display of moments?
Perhaps it’s because I miss you, the real you
or the thought of you.
It’s not like I know the difference.
07-17-2020
You continue to fight the system,
I know that you miss him,
I don't know why,
You refuse to let go,
Of the dream that faded away,
You continue to cause pain,
When it can go away,
No matter how hard,
You scream at the sky,
He ain't ever comming back,
He died for his cause,
What he believed,
Just because you won't agree,
Won't cause him to be beamed back,
From the past battles he fought,
And the one he did return,
But in a box and uniform,
To his last place,
Where he shall forever stand guard,
Oneday he will stand guard next to you,
When I was a child
I remember you carrying me in your arms
the grey pseudo membrane covers my pharynx
making it difficult to breathe
Diphtheria was common in those days
You were turned away
from the footsteps of Holy family hospital
I saw despair
Flow down your cheeks
Where to now
You murmured
As I slipped into unconsciousness
The haveli in Shimla
Amidst blue pines
You, your young family
My father, his brothers and sisters
Settled, content and happy
Forest was your business
Himalayan cedar, silver fir, white oak
Your touch turned them to gold
You took to the road in ‘47
Independence from British Raj and idolaters
carnage ensued
innocents, vulnerable
those who had no say, paid
The Punjabi sky above endured,
said no word but it poured
you spoke little about exodus of your own choice
and loss of everything
the hardship years, the eldest his fits of psychosis
chained, there was no PTSD in those days
people took things in their stride
his young siblings, their silent cries of pain
for the valley, the green trees
the wind that rustled between
the paths that led to nowhere
your hands never spoke of the stories
but you rebuilt the nest
and one by one they flew
some near
others to faraway lands
I want to know more about you grandpa
I am not small anymore but your legacy is so much bigger
One thing I am certain
giving up was never in our blood
I have wasted
My time
My energy
My breath on you
I have gotten
Nothing
Emptiness
Loneliness from you
You have fooled me
Put a veil over my eyes
Tricked me
Into loving you
You have taken, everything
My heart
My body
My mind from me
Yet
I love you
I crave you
I yearn for you
Where is there reason,
When love is involved?
Where is reality,
When emotions run wild?
I would ask
But there is no answer
You leave me in silence
To stand on my own
I long to crumble
Fall into pieces
Cry to the heavens
Cry out to you
Never will you be
Mine own heart
Mine own soul
Or any part
Of mine own being
So… let me go
Set me free
Open your palms
And release me
Please...