loss

Life's Mosaic

Our life is a mosaic of shattered glass
Of shattered lives and memories of days gone
And those gone that we have loved too
The memory remains
An etched memory so deep it never disappears
Each finding their own way to cope
While we are broken and
Trying not to break exposing our tears
Sometimes there are no words left to say
Because the wounds cut so deep
And we refuse to let the memories fade
As it may betray who we once would keep
So close to our hearts, and
We thought they would never go away
Maybe we would be the one to go first
So we would never have to live the day
That we realize that they are gone
And with them part of ourselves too
All we have left
Is piecing together this mosaic with glue
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in contemplation as to how my life is now compared to "the good ole' days" of my life. We all suffer setbacks, loss, and have to cope with the current condition of our lives.

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something impossible

Folder: 
2023

time is wasting you to a shred of yourself

(not that you know this

today)

and you turn to me and say

hello

 

I could almost cry

at how much you’ve thrown on me

half a world / of humans in this city

so now I cry for the lives you won’t know

 

all the beautiful things in your head

I won’t have a chance to hear anymore

 

oh / wonder is a fitting weight

for the kaleidoscope ink of our missing tomorrows

oh / hope is a hard thing to hold when I wake

and now it lies / beside a body

my heart lies to me that

busy will keep you alive

 

this bright sadness

says more about me than it does about you

I don’t know how your balancing act ended

but I am still stranded

funny how the lonely has built me an island

and not the other way around-

fuck I wish you were here

if not to tell me all the stories

then at least to build my lonely

 

I am still searching for someone

who will say hello

the way you do

someone with that angle of smile

that gravity

(make me your orbit)

someone with that particular

shade of everything

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/14/23

for maggie

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tags:

Your Glow

Did you know..

that you steal the show?

That your silk shines

like wet red wine,

when our time has intwined

and i bask in your glow?

 

A candle to you?

Holds not a chance....

But perhaps to save me a dance..

When somethings arent found

we all look around

buts its you that has stolen my glance.

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Squirrels Screaming in Spring

Folder: 
Tales Fom The Fur

Simple afternoons with you are freeing

Softly, quietly I look up to see two 

Squirrels screaming at me

The dichotomy between the serene breeze

And the tiny furry beasts puts a smile on my face

The worries of the world fade into Nothingness

The warm caress of the dying sun

Lifts today's burdens like an old friend with his hand held out

Seeking...Greeting

Lifting...Comforting

Am I the same as you?

We exist in this moment together

But who am I and who are you?

The wall comes crumbling down

I gasp... you turn your rosy cheeks to face me

We see eye to eye but through different lenses

My green to your brown

My chaos to your calm

Two sides of the same coin

And yet when I turn to face the trees

I see through the faded leaves and the bare bones of earthen bark

I see in the extended arms of the oak what I can't always see in myself: Hope

The screaming squirrels have given up

Sometimes I feel the same

The quiet returns

The light is receding 

I turn to you once more

I return to the here

I return to us and our small Haven; 

In the garden of two now silent Squirrels

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My stepdaughter was telling me about two squirrels that were making a fuss at her one day when she and a close friend were hanging out at a park near our home. It may not be a masterpiece poem but I was so inspired I had to put the images in my head to words. 

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Never Give Up

These words I write cannot contain

The anger, the guilt, nor the pain

Of losing someone you hold most dear

 

You went to her house for advice

You just complained, yelled and got frustrated

But she just listened, hearing every word

And now she's gone, gone, gone

 

You think about her constantly

She never leaves your heart, mind, or soul

Her advice was always solid

Her words blunt and meaningful

But now you can't hear them

She is just gone, gone, gone

 

We move on, hoping to hear her call our name

But she can't anymore

We hope to feel her grasp

But she is out of reach

 

Just remember where she resides now

In the darkest part of your heart

Waiting for you to ask again

When you find the words

When you heal

 

She's not here

She's not there

But she is everywhere

She. Is. Home.

She. Is. Happy.

She. Is. Always. Watching.

Waiting

Hoping

 

Always loving was her speech

She told you how it was out of love

She was there when you were a baby

She was there your whole life

 

NOW HOLD HER CLOSE AS YOU SAY GOODBYE FOR THE LAST TIME!!

YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!!

THE PHOTOS DO HER NO JUSTICE!!

DON'T SHED TEARS FOR HER!!!

REMEMBER HER!!

 

The death of a loved one

Is an unending sadness

But never give up

They will watch you

Help you

Save you

Never give up!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I lost my aunt in July. Sorry it took so long Tarolyn!! I love you

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Albatross

When I look up in the sky

And I see your spirit soar

Mindful that I'm stuck down here

Thinking of before

I pray I cross your mind

As you sail among the clouds

And that you'll visit me

The next time you come around

 

I loved you with my all

But only pulled you down

I should've known my heart

Would keep you anchored on the ground

I've let you go, my dear

As you fly into the sky

I hope your fading thoughts of me

Will pass you by-and-by

O Lover



O Lover,

 

how can you run

past the rhymes that slip through the creases

in your palms only to

etch them into my memory?

Yesterday

time sank fangs into my ankle, left tattoos

like heartbreak. You touched my face

and I stepped back,

out of reach.



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Dripping in Gold

 

I took her hand

and poured gold in her veins.

There was nothing more I could do.

 

 

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Echoes



She let the glass fall with a flick of her wrist,
condensing the air to an acrid twitch
and rendering my vision to pinpoints as
I watch the reflection of her eyes careen to earth.
Will you reach your hand up to my cheek
and read the wounds you stashed inside my corneas?
Or will you stare at the echoes at our feet
until my hand reaches for yours
across this shattered display of moments?



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