I’m sitting here in class
Don’t really know how much time has passed
Watching some crap on TV
Economics class. . . Please, someone kill me
Only 2nd block
No point looking at the clock
There talking about liberty
Been in high school for 4 years. . . What the fuck is liberty?
20 more minutes till the bell rings and I gotta stand up
Same thing every day. . . This is so fucked up
Oh look its Thomas Edison, he discovered electricity
In this moment, he’s the cause of my misery
School makes me live in my own little box of hate
I’d much rather stay at home and masturbate
Oh shit, teacher saw what I just wrote
Looks like she isn’t gonna take it as just a joke
She’s says that’s real funny Andrew, but the fun and games are over,
And now you got yourself some extra homework
-sigh- only 12 minutes left
3rd block won’t be any better I bet
There was never any doubt
Until the haze clouded over you
And that's when you burned out
I thought you would get through
But as it becomes clear
Our friendship is done
But I still love you my dear
No matter how much you shun
All I can do is guess
Always blaming myself
All this causes is stress
Of course you can't trouble oneself
I walk endless an road
locked into a heavy load
Of these questions and fears
Gripping from it's unreasonable tears
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another day
As I wake up to the sun's harsh light
I try not to look back
As I attempt to fill this crack
Of this hurt and wonder
Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another night
As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might
Tell me, is it ever really "Okay?"
At times I wish I could disappear, away from the day.
Tell me, was it really all a mystery?
Or was I really something plagued by history?
Judge me, try to reason my scars,
Yet, were you there for my unreasonable wars?
Did you ever set foot in my shoes?
Taken account of what brings the blues?
Tell me, does it really matter?
If I was any more the sadder?
Perhaps it's just my business, only my trouble.
Not another place to intrude into my bubble.
I'll solve my self alone, and myself alone only
Not for you to break my silence, maybe tonight, I'd just like to be lonely.
Blame my shortcomings for my scars if you dare.
For me, it just occurred, the past isn't something I ever chose to wear.
Clocks slow to a crawl time creeps it's deceit
Some days lack ambition no spring in my seat
Pounding heart sure to cave won't endure it's fatigued
Need mighty endowment strength stability proceed
This pen hits the paper racing heart slowly calms
I believe in my words the sweat dries from my palms
Trembling hands quieten be sturdy as steel
I take a deep breath... Now to enjoy how I feel
Shane Aaron
Dec 7 2013
I tried to blindfold my heart,
But just like predicted, I failed.
The ropes were breaking,
But I wanted to continue walking on them.
Dreaming only hurts when it's
Confused with reality,
And that's exacty what I did.
I had to take an exit there
But I didn't want this to end
It's become a routine to have you there
At the burst of my thoughts,
Trying to escape through my lips,
But I won't allow it.
You have become more than a person
You are now the controller of my emotions
You decide whether I can smile today
I have given you more than myself
Once again,
I've done something
that my mother doesn't
approve of.
She keeps saying
how she's disappointed in me,
and how she never
would have thought that
I would do something like this.
It drives me nuts!
It makes me feel crazy!
It makes me mad!
What is this feeling?
So deep, so far down.
I couldn't understand.
Not if I tried.
It may be forbidden,
for me- not you,
but still...
still...
Why?
Your laugh,
your smile,
your weird quirks.
They light up my day,
not like him.
Though I love him,
I love you as well.
Why?
Oh, why?
Did my heart just fall?
Every time you play,
you laugh,
you joke.
Every time.
I love you.
But, him too.
Love.
What is love?
It's not for me-
or you.