Pain

To fix whats broken!

To Fix What’s Broken

 When were born our mothers smile light’s her face a glow

  She say’s were perfect from our head down to our toes

  But as we grow thing’s change and to much is left unspoken

  Oh to be able to go back in time and fix what’s broken

 But if it was that easy then there wouldn’t be any pain

No sorrow, no fear, of what lies ahead and nothing to gain

So here we are slightly wrinkled, and our hearts a cold dark place

try as hard as we can to iron it out, and thaw what’s been frozen

we try again and again to mend ourselves to fix what’s broken

but night after night we fall into bed to tired to keep up the pace

knowing full well that tomorrow our step’s we’ll have to retrace

someday I think to myself I wont feel so much pain no more emotion

and with no pain there will not be a need to go and fix what’s broken

Author's Notes/Comments: 

sometimes all we want is to fix what broke, hope you like this one!

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A Hole: Pain Through the Brain

Folder: 
Poetry

I woke up,

in the mirror I had my closeup.

There was a hole in my throat,

fastly I slipped into my coat.

 

I went to the hospital,

I was worried I recall.

I gave the fault to Abra,

who was able to the macabre.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A dream I had.

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Dramatic tunes

Dramatic tunes play in my mind

as I wait in bed for your replies

Took a trip, tried to listen to

A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

But boy, I really should take note

that 1975 was never the year

that the internet was born 

then lives got weird

 

Dramatic tunes swirl in my mind

Nauseating and mesmerizing, all at once

I trace all the pieces I could find

to draw the image that may resemble you

and draft the letters I could think of

but never would I send to you

 

Dramatic tunes leech on my mind

Trying to design my last demise

The nothingness on their side,

churning violence all coincide

 

Dramatic tunes play in my mind 

As I wait for your replies 

The darkness would soon arrive

here and hear my last goodbye

The flock of crows are closing in

Floating just three feet above

But then I feel my eyes flinch

As the phone buzzed

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about the anxiety you have when you're not sure someone's still interested of you or not anymore. 

Diamonds

Folder: 
Bees

No, not diamonds, emeralds are much more fitting.

Emeralds dancing under an endless blaze,

Sparkling in the light while shining in the shadows.

A complex ballet of both strength and love.

 

…and pain.

Sorrow and Distraught. Anguish drawn from years of

Frustration. Get the lights, lock the door.

Observe, partake, change, leave.

 

Be it the pain, strength, or loneliness,

Eyes worth millions tell stories in silence.

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The darkest stars

As long as there are stars to see at night
There will be problems for us outside
And there's nothing to grant you a better life
Just the expectancy of something worse
Only to be surprised with something
Probably as good as it was in the beginning
And that's how life rolls
How Earth's still turns
And how dark takes over the sun
How the stars shine along

The Seed

in what dark recesses of torture remain

exists a dreaded seed for us to obtain

to keep us sane and deliver us from evil

so goes the creed of an everlasting people

 

unending doubt resonates to be

impermanance rooted in an everlasting dream

scarcity of hope glimmering in dusk

prevention of fortune in a world of luck

 

forever told from stories past

eerily reminiscent of perpetual task

systems of new destroyed wisdom once known

for all apart of a world unsown

 

grimmace and malice plagued once more

in dire times that conjured vile scorn

but it was hope that was given once last chance

now grows a tree from the seed of our past

And If My Soul Is Crying

It’s happening again,

Such unbearable pain,

And if my soul is crying

As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…

 

I’ve let so many people down,

Lost so many beautiful opportunities,

I feel so failed and forlorn,

But is that really such a tragedy?

 

Perhaps, rather,

It’s a positive thing,

Shouldn’t a true artist be suffering?

At least I’m feeling something…

 

It’s happening again,

Such unbearable pain,

And if my soul is crying

As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…


 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

'And If My Soul is Crying' was penned during an episode of almost unbearable abyssal sadness, although precisely when it occurred I cannot say other than it was in 2015.

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To My Own End

I remember the time,
When the world was much simpler,
As little kids we had it all setup for us,
Now see see the world in its true face now,
How it all changed with a few years going by,
I wish I still had the chances I had 5 years ago,
But now I take the chances today give,
Hoping I make the right call,
That I don't regret in 5 year,
Choices I can sit my kids down too,
Say this is what I've done,
Worring will I get disowned by my son,
Or hear Dad, that's so cool,
I want to be just like you,
But life is so fast how can I keep up,
It feels like I'm drowning someone,
I need help someone save me,
By the time I know my fate,
I will already know,
If I made it or if I'm a failure,
Did I let the river run,
Or did I take control,
And stear my own destiny,
To my own goals,
To my own end,

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Shattered Heart

We thought it was LOVE

When we busted the facade

I learn it was lusted affair

I only wanted to win your affection

Yet you pin me as imperfection

I rush the the threshold, pausing at the gate

Heart rate pounding, your hate rising

This angry tide consuming, pushing me further

I want off this insane ride of yours

 

Our luck is fucked

I look down at my phone, silent now

The shattered screen, like my busted heart

All bucked up, cracked

You did a number on me

Your mean love made my spirit lean

 

Cleaning you out of me

Rattle my beans

As I battle the poison

You breed in me

The greed of your kisses

I piss myself when you hit me

Now I hiss your name in vain

I wouldn't play your game

So now I drop my cape

Tape my busted heart

 

Heal best as I can

Peel off the exhaustion

I cannot rest

My chest constricting

Anxiety at head lights behind me

I asked for kindness, not blindness

Rightfully, that would be love

 

What was our marriage

What was our dream

I scream at the greyness

Smashing the madness

The badness, ripping your hooks out

Now I look at my cracked screen

Reminding myself what is left of my heart