fears

Fears

Why do I cry alone at night

With tears of joy or pain

Or tend to sigh in loneliness

Dress guilt just like a chain?

Why weigh myself with tension

And bank on fear and stress

When I could rise or fail myself

By giving it my best?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It was a loooonnnnngggg thought train away from Tears for Fears. 

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*You Walked In*

October-7-2003 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

You walked in 
And my broken heart went out the door 
And "me" you won

My heart 
My soul 
Everything within every part 
Keeping you love is my goal

When you walked in 
You set my fears free 
I've changed within 
I'm happier and everyone can see 
That you made me a difference 
I'm a newer person the whole way around 
I just love your presence 
That day was so wonderful you is what i found

I admit it it took along time 
To get where i am now 
You i want to forever wine and dine 
In every way i know how

I'm so beyond words it was you that walked in 
That brought such sunshine 
And such a great person to love 
I really truly thank the lord above 
That you're mine

Copyright

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*You're*

 
 July-8-2001 
 Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
 
You're my shine 
After the rain
 
You're my water 
When the ocean runs dry
 
You're my tears 
When i can no longer cry
 
When I have not one friend
You're my peers
 
You're my courage
 When i can no longer try
 
You're my protection 
When i run into fears
 
You're my strength 
When i'm weak
 
You're my tissue
When i cry tears
 
You're my repair 
When i have a broken heart
 
You're my sound 
When i can no longer hear
 
You're my way 
When i can no longer be found
 
You're my day 
Before the stary night
 
You're my eyes 
When i no longer have sight
 
To me sweety you're: 
My everything 
Because together 
We have something 
We have eachother 
A special bond that'll last forever
From here to the moon
As long as we have each other 
Our Love will always bloom
 
Copyright
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Then I met “Me”

 

I have been building my place of hiding, my shell, since I was born,

At first the sole purpose was purely for safety from a possible storm

But as years progressed, my shell became tattered and torn,

So, I rebuilt my shell so indestructibly that it can always be worn

 

I was always “me”, but never for the world to see

My shell became my permanent home, where I found my safety

My tears were always my own, never to be spilt or shown to anyone not even me

Decades later, I came to realize that I’ve hidden “me” so deeply that I lost my very own identity

 

“Who am I?”

“Who am I supposed to be?”

“Panic stricken! I might as well not be…..”

I Raced my car, aimed - just so that I could “accidently” crash into a tree..

But then……, I met the “one” and I met “me”

 

A Total stranger whom I met coincidentally,

Who uttered only a few harsh words, and ended with a cold glance.

A man who stabbed my soul so intense and deeply without even giving me a chance

Little did he know, that he would be the one who brings me back to reality

 

 

 

 

Written by 

Dlr

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Enter My Fear

All of the welcoming emotion suddenly dies.
and the darkness shrouds the land in only misery's cries.

 

Enter grief!
A timeless ocean. 
Trapped of despair, trapped without relief
Enter the moon!
Endless racing of the thoughts.
Including you alone, trapped dead inside an empty room

The dead is holding you stiff once more!
Staring into your eyes, never have you felt so gone before

The time comes again, to pit against all that is you
Will you ever find the part of you that is actually true?

Paint the sky bleak
Consider everything we cannot speak

The one painting with the sun I painted as a child is lost.
Reality has broken the barrier, this is the ultimate cost



 

Deceitful Rain

How deceitful is rain? 

like on a hot summers evening

when the drizzle looks ice cold

but upon walking outside 

you find it hotter than the air. 

Or when the droplets look like satin 

falling gently to the earth

but when they touch your skin

it feels like you'll be left with bruises. 

My favorite is when a storm rocks you to sleep

then jolts you awake with a crash of thunder! 

Rain tempts my deceitfulness as well

because even though a nighttime storm is my favorite lullaby, 

I pretened it scares me to death so that I can cuddle up in your arms

and curl against your warm body, that protects me from my "fears." 

 

Maybe that's all the rain really wants, 

to be cuddled up and protected…

 

but then again, how can you trust rain? 

Latent Prince

 

 

..............

 

Part I of II

 

 

This is the story of Larry Joe Prince

And the way Arizona stole his innocence.

It is written with hope that there may come a day

When a wise judge will grant him his moment to say

All the things so conveniently left out of court,

Made American “justice” look more like a sport,

With a high-priced attorney that didn’t think clear,

And the false testimony of one with much fear,

And the state prosecute thought “I’ll surely reach fame”,

He said, “Hell, I don’t care who the state wants to blame,

It’s a paycheck to me; I don’t care about truths,

It’s my ego I feed, I’m a low lying sleuth!!”

 

So they all drew their “guns” on that guy Mr. Prince,

Absolutely no shred of secure evidence,

They proceeded to send him to death row to sit,

For the murder of one that he did not commit,

And the biggest and worst sin of all that was done,

Was the way that the people held on to their “guns”,

They embraced all the lies to evade what was clear,

As revenge prevailed justice with each little tear,

And for those in the grave who just watch from above,

With no longer a voice to teach them that real love,

Is not proven by putting the blame on a man,

Just because he is there….cause the courts and you can,

 

See the proof of one’s love speaks out so very clear,

Even after the grave when one’s body’s not here,

You will hear their soul cry, and you’ll then know for sure,

If they’re resting in peace or they’re haunted some more.

 

There are families that hide from life’s reality,

The dead man in this case begs you hear his soul’s plea,

Make amends for the errors you’ve made in the past,

And put down all those stones, and those already cast,

If this dead man could speak he’d have something to say,

Of the circus that ran through the courtroom that day,

And if not for the dead man then do it for you,

Cause we all have to answer to God what is true,

Larry Prince knows he’s clear and he wins either way,

                              Cause he’s INNOCENT judge, the state’s in disarray.                                

So please read all with care on this day we implore,

Please don’t look at this life as a game where you score,

It’s integrity that is of stake in this court,

And it’s not mine or yours it’s this country’s that’s short

Of a quality no longer active today,

If it dies, it’s the lives of our loved one’s…they’ll pay.

Take your time, read it all, and be true to your heart,

And we’ll all pray it’s not too late for a new start.

 

 

Part II of II

 

 

They all loved cocaine but they hid it from Dad,

He just couldn’t believe that his kids could be “bad”,

So his eyes he did close, and they stayed tightly shut,

While his best offspring died with that stuff in his gut,

And they said, “It was murder”, and placed the blame there,

Yes, it’s true ‘bout that bullet and blood in his hair,

And the roots of that crime have been hidden so well,

By the real guilty ones with the lies they did tell,

For those self-righteous ones that just stared and stood by,

And condoned this deceit without batting an eye,

For the cowards that watched as the killers went free,

Be aware this could happen to you or to me,

And your sons or your daughters could one day be led

To a place where they wish they would rather be dead,

So now don’t be afraid to let truths in your ears

When your children are hurting with eyes full of tears,

Don’t you cower or shudder, don’t whine and don’t wince,

And remember the story of Larry Joe Prince.

 

Written in parts, from 2000-2002

Original Copyright 2002 

Registration Number / Date:

                   TXu001112792 / 2002-12-02

 

..................

 

07/21/13 ©

 

*

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The story of how justice can go awry when emotions rule instead of justice ruling.

 

http://www.postpoems.org/authors/nightlight1220/prose/953553

 

...........

My Fears.

Dark figure in an alleyway.
Spiders creeping over your body.
Creature in dark water.
Water ripples around you.
Snake slitering towards you.
Room closing in.
Liquid dripping from the ceiling.
End of cliff breaking.
Falling.
Plane losing altitude.
Woods with no path.
The feeling that someone is watching you.
Red eyes in the pitch black dark.
Digesting poison.
Slowly starving to death.
Turning around to see a stranger.
The mirror talking back.
Voices controlling your actions.
Never seeing home again.

Little Thoughts

Do I think too small?
Do I think at all?
If i have a thought does it matter?
all my little thoughts must lead somewhere for me.
i'm not sure where to be but i'm not sitting here for free.
all my dreams get filed in number 13, how can i think bigger thoughts for me?

i cut myself short and talk myself down.
i hold balloons but never leave the ground.
i make up words so i can say i'm smart, but it's all nonsense, just like my thoughts.
take me up to the clouds i will live there.
fill my head with trivial crap so i won't need it.
i know which way to turn if i never go left.

do i think about you?
do i think about me?
if i think about us does it matter?
all my little thoughts don't add up to anything for me.
i'm not convinced i have what it takes to make it big.
all my hopes get dashed in salt and pepper, how can i think of a better flavor?

i crack myself up and drown myself out.
i slash the tires on my think i can bus.
if my life was a movie, i'd play dumb and dumber, but it's all stupidity, just like my thoughts!
bury my head in the sand i like it there.
ignorance is comfortable and i wear it everywhere.
i know you don't trust me i lie because i want too.

do i think this poem sucks?
do i think you are bored?
if i think it's time to quit does it matter?
all my little thoughts evaporate into air.
i'm quivering in anticipation of my fears.
all my cleverness ran out about 10 years ago so none of this matters!