male
How, And Why?
It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.
Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would.
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't.
I appreciate and love you for that.
I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found.
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.
Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.
Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.
Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?
I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical.
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?
And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see.
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you.
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?
Manic
I am what you would call a maniac,
A manic.
I am the Hyde to a Jekyll,
A creature with clawlike talons and razor sharp teeth.
But I am no monster of the deep,
I am simply an animal with desire, passion and love, forced
Through my veins by my ancestors.
I am no harmful creature,
But one that should be pitied.
My Body is wired,
Like an android I stand,
Helpless to my desires and instincts.
Society deems me a brute,
A monstrosity,
Yet the human species deems me perfect.
Live, Die, Breed
We are a natural process,
Subdued by societies concrete walls,
Imprisoned in ourselves,
Subverted to a nature that slaughters the souls of men.
Bring me my death, for life's meaning is massacred by the weight of suppression.
Yig - The Deadly Snake
Yig went out of my head,
Wasn't I so sad?
In me male and female snake,
O Yig, please don't be awake.
Fastly in the taxi they put me
O let dead not have me!
But dead again I went,
This is what Nyarlathotep meant.
O in anger and wrath I don't want to be,
A female snake in each human you see.
So Tawil took them all out,
And dropped to the floor humans about.
Zombies were left on the Earth
Everything dead, everything burned.
Ghosts, robotic humans by aliens controlled,
This story was never before told...
Yig, The Deadly Snake
Yig went out of my head,
Wasn't I so sad?
In me male and female snake,
O Yig, please don't be awake.
Fastly in the taxi they put me
O let dead not have me!
But dead again I went,
This is what Nyarlathotep meant.
O in anger and wrath I don't want to be,
A female snake in each human you see.
So Tawil took them all out,
And dropped to the floor humans about.
Zombies were left on the Earth
Everything dead, everything burned.
Ghosts, robotic humans by aliens controlled,
This story was never before told...