self

When the Night Falls

Folder: 
Favorites

The night falls,

A lost sould finds peace,

In a blaze felt by all,

The heart comes to tease. 

 

We found where we are,

In the wake of lost hope.

We battle through our scars,

And fight the slippery slope. 

 

A struggle with the pain,

As you become an unknown champion,

A fight begins in vain,

Fearing the sting of a scorpion,

 

Through sorrow we find ourselves,

As the waves crash,

Our feelings on the shelbes,

We start again from scratch. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For a dear friend of mine who is going through some difficulties. Patty, I believe you will find a way, and your decision will forever have my support. Happiness is invaluable and unstoppable, I believe in you and hope you can find some peace. 

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Odd Man Out

Sometimes, I realize how different I am.

 

A shape that doesn't fit into any one particular place

 

Odd man out

 

When I look back on how versatile I've always been

Lots of different cliques, not a singular type of friend

 

Expending everything I have to be someone people want to talk to

 

But for what?

 

What am I searching for?

 

 

I can identify so many beautiful things that I have

In real life

 

A short few people who actually love me, for me

 

When I need them, they come through

 

In depth long conversation

 

Or just a simple cup of coffee because they're near

 

These are tried and true relationships

 

 

Sometimes I realize how different I am.

 

The tallest tree in the forest, towering above those who directly surround her

 

Or the tiniest grain of sand, undifferentiated, lost in an endless desert

So much the same, but uniquely separate in perspective

Nothing better, nothing worse

Just different...

 

If I had the choice to be somene else, in another place, another position

I wouldn't think twice before turning it down

I realize this isolation is an opportunity to turn myself around

I was once lost, and once again I will be found

I know I won't find myself in the struggle of another

So, I'll stop attempting to drown myself in the company of others

The silence, the absence, the willingness to be with me

The effort, The choice, The solace

It's become my sole necessity

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm in a weird space within right now.

Trying to find the strength to go radio silent and let the true friendships surface.

Trying to find a true friendship with myself, and rebuild my connection to my spirit.

Distance and space are hard to do when you feel like you'll be missing out on others.

But, it's time.

Forsaken

Folder: 
Dark

I’m searching for a way

To express these persistent screams

Living beneath these eyes

Crafting nightmares out of dreams

 

I’m searching for a way

To surpass these sadden seas

But I hold on to my Kraken

Swallowing the beast within me

 

Is there no place?

To let insecurities come to pass

To burn amongst the sky

To take wings in Earthly drafts


Is there no place?

To drown the insistent thoughts

To wither them to the bone

To expose them till they rot

 

I forget there is no place

To home creatures of my kind

The unforgiving weathered world

Leaving me behind

 

I forget there is no place

To embrace who I desire

My creature clawing outward

Set these streets on fire

 

 

Dreams

Folder: 
Prevailing

I’m somewhere,

In a different time

In a different place

 

I’m somewhere,

A different feeling

Lost in space

 

I’m somewhere,

Caught in the midst

Of everything I know

In all that exists

My limitations grow

 

I’m somewhere,

Exposed and valiant

Bright eyes; knowing

 

I’m somewhere,

Trembling and fierce

Hearts on shoulders; showing

 

 

 

 

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Trust

Sex, 

drugs, 

ciggerettes , 

money and music , 

power and fire , 

pornography ,

philosophy , 

on top of me, 

inside of you ,

can you trust me?

 

space, 

death, 

lies , 

loniliness ,consciousness,

treading thy water ,

everyday I'm worse ,

everyday I wake up,

come wander with me love ,

come wander with me ,

away from this sad world ,

come wander with me ,

I came from the sunset ,

I came from the sea,

come wander with me love ,

can you trust me? 

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My Foe

Come and go, ebb and flow
fast and slow, time will go

the reality of truth,
will we ever know?

What does it mean, the feeling in  between
the good and the evil

Is there such a thing?
Or is it up to me, just to make believe?

Shakespeare said the worlds a stage,
sometimes I feel the world a plague

If I act a fool, if I act a king
if I take a gun and a sling
if I lose my mind to take a drink
or take a drink to lose my mind

does it matter, once we all die?
or am I just high? Please, can I get high?

In the land of sinners, the brothelsloth is King
coming and going, doing as I please

The more I know, the less I care
the less I care, the more I bear

I bear my soul, so that others may know
the lessons I learned, from life, my foe.

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Author of

I AM THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS THAT HAVE NO REAL MEANING

I AM THE STEPPER OF STAIRS THAT CLIMB TO THE HEAVENS

TO FIND THAT HEAVEN IS NOT THERE

I AM NOT THE VICTIM BUT THE ONE WHO SEES ALL

WHO KNOWS HIS OWN DEMISE

I AM THE MAN WHO HAS WATCHED HIS LOVES GO TO OTHERS

HAS STARED AT TROPHIES WITH JEALOUS EYES

THE WAY THEY SHINED AND WERE HELD ABOVE ME

THE CHAMPIONS THAT HELD THEM GLEAMING

LIKE THE IRON SPADES SEWN ON LEATHER JACKETS

THAT THE PERSIANS WORE TO WAR

INHERENTLY SMALLER THAN ANYONE

INHERENTLY MORE TORTURED

IM THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT NOTHING

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOWS MY OWN FATE

WANTS TO STOP IT

I KNOW IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND

I KNOW THAT MISSING SOMEONE IS DIFFICULT

BUT THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS SPIN AS LONG AS THERE IS THE BEAUTY WITHIN YOUR HEART INHABITING IT

I AM JUST THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS WITH NO REAL MEANING

MISSING ME IS LIKE MISSING AN OLD JUNKY CAR

DONT BE TOO SENTINMENTAL

YOU CAN FIND COMFORT IN MY VERSES

DONT LOOK AT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS

LOOK AT THE SUN AND KNOW IT SHINES FOR YOU

I'LL BE BEHIND THE MOON SHINING FOR YOU TOO

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Honestly just wrote this now. it's about friends that see the good in you (even if it's completely manufacture) and sort of weirdly biographical. idk im bad at this but if you enjoy this than hey awesome let me know!

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Loss

Folder: 
2014

Bottled up inside

Trying, just to hide

The pain that I feel,

The skin I want to peel.

There is no escape,

From this unending ache.

This is my torture

Something I must endure.

I cannot hide.

I cannot flee.

I'm forced to be me,

But who is she?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Struggling with the next chapter in my life.

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Sordid Tale

Once upon a time, in a town not to far outside of nowhere..
there was a young boy, about the age of seven.
One day, he realized life is no different than a dime- store
choose your own adventure paperback.
  He then set forth on a mission to live out the rest of his days
turning each page, not knowing what was written on the other. 
  never straying to far from his heart, he has lived a life many
could call adrift.
 Meeting new people, influencing lives, 
being influenced...in nature...loving, being alive ...being.
    Being. 
oh, but the story has many twists and turns indeed..like so many knots of tightly curled hair. 
  the loves lost, the fires, the search for higher ground.
Dragons and battles and merciless perils at sea. 
Whiskey, and mischief, and pens. 
 A fable would be far easier to believe if you saw the world
that resides behind the gaze of my blue eyes.
  O, but to love. 
One may never have truly...if it were not for its loss. 
 But the clock will never stand still, as so shall I. 
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