Are you ready for it?
I shouldn’t have to ask you that question after all that you have done.
It would’ve been rude of me not to give you a heads-up like this.
Your reign of terror is steps closer to its endgame.
If I do not draw my sword and face the ghosts of my past, checkmate is guaranteed.
I did something bad long ago, but can you blame me?
I’m just a human being that made a mistake because I was not in the right mind.
Anguish and love do not mix because both made my life worse before.
If you respect that my situation is delicate, why do you keep poking the hornet nest?
If you crack it open and the wasps sting you so much their poison burns,
don’t be surprised if I say, “Look what you made me do.”
Your empathy is lacking so why should I care if you are put to rest the next day?
Princes don’t negotiate with paupers like me.
So it goes because fame and violence are always placed above justice and peace.
Isn’t it gorgeous to be the one in control? To run a country or a sect without a care in the world?
Doesn’t it feel amazing when your subjects obey you unconditionally as if you are an almighty god?
These questions reveal to me that aristocrats and celebrities use their authority
for insolence and seduction. No wonder we can’t have nice things.
You are not entitled to my throne even though a liar was the king of my heart before.
What was “yes” today could be “no” tomorrow so I keep fewer promises.
I’ve heard enough empty platitudes from your devotees to realize that an oath is not to be made lightly.
Anything else you want to preach about before I take the getaway car to escape additional agony?
Go ahead and dress your possessive wiles by telling me you love me
And shower me with material goods to let my guard down against my better judgment.
But when you try to use your tenderness as leverage, it is all the more reason for me to leave.
The longer I stay here, the more certain it is that my life is in danger.
My hands are tied keeping the darkness around me at bay for as long as I can.
Fortune is never on my side when I dance, but my sword will always be my partner.
Call it what you want, but the battlefield is my ballroom.
If dancing alone is the only way I can retain my individuality, so be it.
Happy Raʼs as-Sanah al-Hijrīyah, Vlad Dracula.
I’ll see you in Hell.
I thought that I understood what he was going through, but we all handle it differently. I mean, I understand that he's hurting, but I only just realized that he's giving up more and more of himself every day... And I'm scared, I'm scared that one day, he'll be gone for good, and I don't know where he's going after that. He did exactly what I did... He blamed God, and I've been praying and praying for God to show himself to him, even just a glimpse, so that I won't have to see him hurting anymore... He's starting to realize how the world works... It's problems, it's judgement, it's hurt and pain... All I want is for him to be happy again, and that'll be enough for me, then I can be happy again, but until then, I'll fight off the demons with my sword and my shield, and my prayer... He would be able to pray with me in the mornings, he could actually start a fire in my soul and build my weak faith, because the Lord knows that I need the help, "Woe to you, with little faith". God knows that I'm alone right now, and that I need another candle to reignite me, because even he knows that we need to be together in two's, why else would he ask for that when he gathered the twelve and sent them two by two? But right now, he's trapped in the grave with his grandfather, and he doesn't care that there's no oxygen, he doesn't care how uncomfortable he is, and he doesn't know how much it's killing me to watch him kill himself like that, to watch the boy who is like- no, IS a brother to me, act like he's happily resting in the grave, when I know that he's chained to his grandfather by an emotional chain that is his embrace that's harder to cut than Hercules string of life and it shoots through his heart right into mine... He loves him and doesn't want to let him go, and I want him to know that me and God love them both, and we wish that he would just understand the depths of our love, that's all I ask, is that he would let go of the hurt, and embrace the light that I want to give him. If God can bring Lazarus back in perfect condition, then he can bring my friend back too... I hear God say it every time I talk to him every morning at the pole and every night before bed, "let him come to me, bring him to me, for he is weary and needs rest, and I know that you and I miss him" as he wipes the tears that I cry for him nightly off my chin and cheek when I rest at my Fathers feet.
Please, come back to us. I miss you, we all miss you... With God's love, God bless.
March.2.2001/ updated June.7.2015
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
In my heart
I feel love for two
This feeling from me won't part
I don't know what direction to take
My feelings are a mess
The choice is hard to make
My heart can't deal with the stress
In my heart
It's so confused
From neither do I want to part
They both get me amused
One is I should just be a friend
But which one I don't know who
They both remain in my heart till the end
I've know one longer
But does that help much
Would that make my feelings for one stronger
Or should I go by his touch
My hearts in a struggle
I don't know what to do
Maybe both I could juggle
I should just be unhappy and blue
Maybe I should just remain alone
Stay all by myself
And turn my heart back to stone
And leave it on the shelf
What have I gone and done
I've fallen for two that are great
My heart they both won
Everyones heart is at stake
And I know I can only go on with one
But both bring me joy
With both I have so much fun
And niether play me like a toy
God please help me
To make the choice that is right
Just from me don't let them get free
I don't want them to leave my sight
I want them to know both I love I hope they can see
But why make my life so complicated
Why do I have to make a choice
Soon my heart's going to be dislocated
I have to listen to my own voice
Why can't I have my cake
And eat it too
God show me which is fake
Show me which life I make new
In my heart
The answer is there
From both I must part
Because for both I truely care
They both stole my heart
Why can't we share
I should of only chose one from the start
God Why can't you hear
I have such a brian fart
They will be a great memory in my mind
The both of them
Will never from me part
This is cruel not kind
The both of them will remain in my heart
I still want them both
To love forever
But it's against my oath
Im in a bind
With them both I can't be together
So someone else I must find
Copyright
im trying not to fall
im trying not to break
im thinking of a way to just make this go away...
im not sure what im doing anymore,
i feel lost and im not sure which way to go...
i look up and i see blue, i look up...
and im not sure what to do
i refuse to look back,
there's just nothing there to look at anymore...
im trying not to fall
im trying not to break
i need to have this go away...
i refuse to go back...
i look up and im not sure what to say...
i look up and im not sure what to do...
i look up and its blue,
im not sure how to make this feeling go away...
Hey you,
Yes mirror,
yes me, I’m talking to you too
I saw the prettiest girl today and her eyes were kinda sorta blue
I think they were kind of greenish with a lightly sparkled hue
Running from my game to get a drink of water
Saw her from 20 steps away as i started to saunter
She was beautiful, like she can be an angel or model,
One or the other
Surprisingly…I didn’t stutter
I’ve never seen her before,where did she come from..oh how I wonder…
I stopped in my tracks
Do you need some help, I asked?
She gave said no as i seen her smile while her lips go asunder
I couldn’t help but smile back, and ask are you sure?..Trying not to feel like a bugger
Her lips pursed and back to reality as she thought “ oh brother”
Yes, I’m positive she replied
As I tried to keep her eyes
I walked away into the rest of the day
A few week laters.. in the lobby I wait
Coming down the halls, is the same beautiful girl I saw…
It was great...
Despite the fact that I didn’t get any play…
She still continued to walk my way…
She caught my eye and as my heart rise
She pursed her lips and told me Hi….
I smirked a little..so confused at this actiong..I didn’t reply…
She made a left and walked to the other side…
Another day in the life of mines…
Does she think I’m a player?
Does she think I’m ugly?
But alot of people call me handsome, layer upon layer
I used to play, but now Im honestly serious… and so bluntly
Even though everything isn’t what they seem…there is always a price..
Everything is a flirt when you’re real just trying to be nice…
you're a hundred unfinished poems taking up space under my bed
you're a million pictured memories collecting dust inside my head
you're the voice I hear singing in the dead still of the night
when everything is wrong, you're the only thing that's right.
Once was a
free-spirited child.
I ran on all fours
like Spirit* and Rain*,
galloping through the grass,
soaring over sidewalks.
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
I could run around naked
without a care in the world.
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
The world was mine,
and I was invincible!
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
But now, I am....
It starts with-
Two wounded hearts.
Seperated between valleys.
During a a major storm-
Bodies were torn.
You have no buttons to push-
I built my bridges-
Now all my work is gone.
Threw away my wings and,
Polluted your mind.
Inside my head-
I am the one to blame.
Symphonies lullabied-
Your music played in vain.
Darling, your long-
Desires tinkered with wishes.
Do i say things clearly-
Or am I the one thats missing?
But you-
Stole my soul.
I'm empty handed.
Oh, Simon says-
Let things go!
But-
Inside my head,
Silent orchestras play.
some days im fine,
some days im not
all these things i try to hide
i look for a place to run
should i just give up,
would i be able to walk away?
how do i do that
i been keeping quite
it wouldnt be fair to you
if i said what i wanted to say
i respect how you feel
and i cant change that
i can only hope that things will get better
but its hard some days
and doubt feels my head
how did i get here
where do i turn
could i do i just turn around and walk away