confused

I thought I understood him

I thought that I understood what he was going through, but we all handle it differently. I mean, I understand that he's hurting, but I only just realized that he's giving up more and more of himself every day... And I'm scared, I'm scared that one day, he'll be gone for good, and I don't know where he's going after that. He did exactly what I did... He blamed God, and I've been praying and praying for God to show himself to him, even just a glimpse, so that I won't have to see him hurting anymore... He's starting to realize how the world works... It's problems, it's judgement, it's hurt and pain... All I want is for him to be happy again, and that'll be enough for me, then I can be happy again, but until then, I'll fight off the demons with my sword and my shield, and my prayer... He would be able to pray with me in the mornings, he could actually start a fire in my soul and build my weak faith, because the Lord knows that I need the help, "Woe to you, with little faith". God knows that I'm alone right now, and that I need another candle to reignite me, because even he knows that we need to be together in two's, why else would he ask for that when he gathered the twelve and sent them two by two? But right now, he's trapped in the grave with his grandfather, and he doesn't care that there's no oxygen, he doesn't care how uncomfortable he is, and he doesn't know how much it's killing me to watch him kill himself like that, to watch the boy who is like- no, IS a brother to me, act like he's happily resting in the grave, when I know that he's chained to his grandfather by an emotional chain that is his embrace that's harder to cut than Hercules string of life and it shoots through his heart right into mine... He loves him and doesn't want to let him go, and I want him to know that me and God love them both, and we wish that he would just understand the depths of our love, that's all I ask, is that he would let go of the hurt, and embrace the light that I want to give him. If God can bring Lazarus back in perfect condition, then he can bring my friend back too... I hear God say it every time I talk to him every morning at the pole and every night before bed, "let him come to me, bring him to me, for he is weary and needs rest, and I know that you and I miss him" as he wipes the tears that I cry for him nightly off my chin and cheek when I rest at my Fathers feet.

Please, come back to us. I miss you, we all miss you... With God's love, God bless.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For that friend... Brother from before

View huntershaddix's Full Portfolio

*In My Heart*

 

 March.2.2001/ updated June.7.2015

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

In my heart

I feel love for two

This feeling from me won't part

I don't know what direction to take

My feelings are a mess

The choice is hard to make

My heart can't deal with the stress

 

In my heart

It's so confused

From neither do I want to part

They both get me amused

One is I should just be a friend

But which one I don't know who

They both remain in my heart till the end

 

I've know one longer 

But does that help much

Would that make my feelings for one stronger

Or should I go by his touch

My hearts in a struggle

I don't know what to do

Maybe both I could juggle

I should just be unhappy and blue

 

Maybe I should just remain alone

Stay all by myself

And turn my heart back to stone

And leave it on the shelf

What have I gone and done

I've fallen for two that are great

My heart they both won

Everyones heart is at stake

And I know I can only go on with one 

But both bring me joy

With both I have so much fun

And niether play me like a toy

 

God please help me 

To make the choice that is right

Just from me don't let them get free

I don't want them to leave my sight

I want them to know both I love I hope they can see

But why make my life so complicated

Why do I have to make a choice

Soon my heart's going to be dislocated

I have to listen to my own voice

Why can't I have my cake 

And eat it too

God show me which is fake

Show me which life I make new

 

In my heart

The answer is there

From both I must part

Because for both I truely care

They both stole my heart

Why can't we share

I should of only chose one from the start

God Why can't you hear

 

I have such a brian fart

They will be a great memory in my mind

The both of them

Will never from me part

This is cruel not kind

The both of them will remain in my heart

I still want them both

To love forever

But it's against my oath

Im in a bind

With them both I can't be together

So someone else I must find

 

Copyright

 

 

 

 

 

I'm Not Sure

Folder: 
my fucked up head

im trying not to fall

im trying not to break

im thinking of a way to just make this go away...

 

im not sure what im doing anymore,

i feel lost and im not sure which way to go...

i look up and i see blue, i look up...

and im not sure what to do

 

i refuse to look back, 

there's just nothing there to look at anymore...

 

im trying not to fall 

im trying not to break

i need to have this go away...

i refuse to go back...

 

i look up and im not sure what to say...

i look up and im not sure what to do...

i look up and its blue, 

 

im not sure how to make this feeling go away...

View gabz's Full Portfolio

From where I stand

Hey you,

Yes mirror,

yes me, I’m talking to you too

I saw the prettiest girl today and her eyes were kinda sorta blue

I think they were kind of greenish with a lightly sparkled hue

Running from my game to get a drink of water

Saw her from 20 steps away as i started to saunter

She was beautiful, like she can be an angel or model,

One or the other

Surprisingly…I didn’t stutter

I’ve never seen her before,where did she come from..oh how I wonder…

I stopped in my tracks

Do you need some help, I asked?

She gave said no as i seen her smile while her lips go asunder

I couldn’t help but smile back, and ask are you sure?..Trying not to feel like a bugger

Her lips pursed and back to reality as she thought “ oh brother”

Yes, I’m positive she replied

As I tried to keep her eyes

I walked away into the rest of the day

A few week laters.. in the lobby I wait

Coming down the halls, is the same beautiful girl I saw…

It was great...

Despite the fact that I didn’t get any play…

She still continued to walk my way…

She caught my eye and as my heart rise

She pursed her lips and told me Hi….

I smirked a little..so confused at this actiong..I  didn’t reply…

She made a left and walked to the other side…

Another day in the life of mines…

Does she think I’m a player?

Does she think I’m ugly?

But alot of people call me handsome, layer upon layer

I used to play, but now Im honestly serious… and so bluntly

Even though everything isn’t what they seem…there is always a price..

 

Everything is a flirt when you’re real just trying to be nice…

View boom's Full Portfolio
tags:

Righting Wrongs


you're a hundred unfinished poems taking up space under my bed 

 

you're a million pictured memories collecting dust inside my head
 

you're the voice I hear singing in the dead still of the night
 

when everything is wrong, you're the only thing that's right. 

??? Who Am I Now?

Once was a

free-spirited child.

 

I ran on all fours

like Spirit* and Rain*,

galloping through the grass,

soaring over sidewalks.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

I could run around naked

without a care in the world.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

The world was mine,

and I was invincible!

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

But now, I am....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'd like to know what you guys think of this... I have been writing it for some time now...

I also don't know 100% about the title.... open to suggestions!

 

*From the movie Spirit

Silent Orchestra

It starts with-

Two wounded hearts.

Seperated between valleys.

During a a major storm-

Bodies were torn.

 

You have no buttons to push-

I built my bridges-

Now all my work is gone.

Threw away my wings and,

Polluted your mind.

 

Inside my head-

I am the one to blame.

Symphonies lullabied-

Your music played in vain.

Darling, your long-

Desires tinkered with wishes.

Do i say things clearly-

Or am I the one thats missing?

But you-

 

Stole my soul.

I'm empty handed.

Oh, Simon says-

Let things go!

But-

Inside my head,

Silent orchestras play.

413

some days im fine, 

some days im not

all these things i try to hide

i look for a place to run

should i just give up,

would i be able to walk away?

how do i do that

i been keeping quite

it wouldnt be fair to you

if i said what i wanted to say

i respect how you feel

and i cant change that 

 i can only hope that things will get better

but its hard some days

and doubt feels my head

 

how did i get here

where do i turn 

could i do i just turn around and walk away

View leo87's Full Portfolio

popular opinion

Naive am I, to realize this cultural lie and continue to live in it

Shameful am I, to see His hand held out to me and only grab His pinky

Loved am I, to feel His presence and witness His fatal actions to prove us worthy

Blessed am I, to be allowed salvation and forgiveness of sin

Coward am I, to know truth and refrain from preaching it

Phony am I, to wish to be loved in His heart and then break it

Strong am I, to admit weakness and see light in darkness

Faithful am I, to believe all is well and strive for His acceptance

Invented am I, to be taught wrongful rights and follow fragulant foot steps

Confused am I, to be only human and pray to be righteous

Two sided am I, to fight for rights and pray for love and peace

Lost in a culture of lies

Stuck with wicked habbits

REPLACING THE ABSOLUTE WITH POPULAR OPINION

View lovingdaisys's Full Portfolio