Stress

London Commute

Skyscrapers and crowded junctions,

 

A metropolis caught in fading daylight.

 

A dying sun in the distance.

 

A line of traffic leading out of the city.

 

Sweat and pollution as commuters hurry.

 

The rumble of an underground train.

 

Another day, another evening.

 

Sunset over the city.

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Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

Fears

Why do I cry alone at night

With tears of joy or pain

Or tend to sigh in loneliness

Dress guilt just like a chain?

Why weigh myself with tension

And bank on fear and stress

When I could rise or fail myself

By giving it my best?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It was a loooonnnnngggg thought train away from Tears for Fears. 

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Breakdown

Folder: 
Haiku

We are cracking.

Our blood and stress and tears

Are drowning us all.

Snow

 

Every day more falls,
And I wonder,
Will it ever cease?
Will the sun peek through again?

 

These questions sit heavy,
My mind ablaze despite the cold,
I hear the wind on the window,
I know it will,
But it feels as if
It will not.

 

Why does it matter,
If the snow stops at all?
For you know it will return,
At the end of next fall.

 

Welcome to the real world,
Things never go away,
Only temporarily leave,
To return another day,

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Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone

Daze

What a hot mess all of this has become

I crawl out my aching bed

As it begs me not to slither out the door

Another day of coordinated confusion

Greets my gritty eyes

I listen to music about sex until I arrive at class

And then attempt not to dose off

I looked forward to cigarettes

Drugs and booze

Like I used to look forward to field trips

 

From across the room she's making a face

I've never seen before

Helpless

 

That same homeless man is at the store

Again

This time he asks me for two cigarettes

 

We are too high to be driving

Why are we not slowing down

Something throws me forward 

I wish were home

 

From across the room she asks for two cigarettes

Driving helpless I've never seen before

I wish

 

The store she's making

Helpless asks for home

Again two cigarettes

 

Something throws me

Why are we helpless

Why are we selfish

 

Room the glass trickles down

On my across skin

Bleeding breathing

 

Night falls, I go to sleep

Still shaking

 

 

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