if tomorrow i dont see!

If Tomorrow I Dont See!            02/23/20

one day while i was sitting around and thinking about you all
The thought had crossed my mind when my number God would call
When memories of your childhood flashed thru my mind to me
and i was thinking i didnt say enough if tomorrow i dont see
then i thought about the day you was born and smiled from ear to ear
i watched you sleep those first few days afraid you'd disappear
thru the rough times i spent on my knees praying for God to set us free
once again that thought had crossed my mind if tomorrow i dont see
did i help you accomplish all your dreams and keep you safe till i depart
have i said enough thru out your life so you'll know whats in my heart
then my fathers words came back to me and they have set me free
he simply said remember i will always love you if tomorrow i dont see!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this one for my kids  hope you like it

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Someone's Hero


This morning

I picked up the mirror in your hands

and shattered it to pieces.

If I could fix things

I would take on the world.


I flip a switch

and the fire comes back.

Everything I remember

is stopping or saving.


All I want is to be

someone’s hero.

I want to hold someone’s sun,

bring up the stars,

be the reason for shifting,

keep someone’s fingers from freezing.


You don’t have to tell me you need me,

just tell me you need my strength.


I have nothing else to lose.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 12/30/17

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Light and Dark

Sometimes I hear the ghosts of my past

Often they whisper in my ear

Just out of consciousness

Barely audible, but present


Memories of those gone by

Now immortal in my mind

Forever they'll exist in me

Or at least as long as I live


For we are scars on the membrane of time

Carving our existence deep into it's flesh

Dying to gain immortality

Our existence tantamount to the memories of others



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I'll never forget 
I remember when 
Forever meant eternity not;
Until you found a better me. 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
You said you love 
Me for Me 
Not for who I was 
For who i will become 
I'll never forget 
I remember when
We talked everyday 
About everything
About Nothing 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
Phone calls where hours long 
not seconds fast and done 
I'll never forget 
I remember when 
I Love You 
Was said 'cause you 
meant it 
Not 'cause you though
you had to say it back
I'll never forget 
I remember 
All the lies 
I'll never ever forget

So Listen


It hurts your Soul,

Your Mind, Your Body

moveless with heartbreak,

as you try to Understand,

Listen, Remember

your head hurts,

your weeping burns

a hole into your Eyes,

Your Mind, Your Heart

This is true love,

the hearfelt pain

trying to breathe,

but no air getting in-

your throat Closes,

Throbs, Imploads

as the with of death

takes you through

the pain that is - his


But Listen

as time goes on,

on you move,

And find the better

of what life can give-

A New Love

So Listen

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Crowded Plot

I don't feel at ease here,

Or at peace.

There are no fond memories -

Just an empty spot,

In a crowded plot -

No room for your soul to breathe.

Oh, what a distant memory -

A little girl at the foot of her papa,

The pitter patter of tiny feet -

Ready to jump,

Into the arms - 


Time has since faded -

That little girl is no longer.

A woman when you passed,

Yet a child still at heart.

Memories left -

Scattered -

And I'm left to wonder,

If you feel forgotten,

In this overgrown plot -

With pieces of you missing -


As is your sanctity.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written on 8/27/2014, in remembrance of my father. I sat at his head stone, where not ask of his ashes lay. And I felt as if he were suffocated. 


Remember that time?

Long ago -

When I was part of you, 

And you, 

A piece of me.

Life was chaotic,

Stress was daily,

My figure grew thin -

My ego, bruised.


And used. 

Many times,

I came back to you.

What did I do,

To deserve the shit

You put me through -

The way I feel, 

To this day.

How to reach that corner -

To peek around,

and not fall back -


Curled in a fetal position.

Not knowing what lies ahead,

Around the bend.

What is beyond the sunset?

When is a new day, 

Where I don't compare him,

To you?

When will your memory lay still?

Where is that current,

To take you away?

When can I drift to sleep,

And not think of you? 

When will this torment end?

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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DEAD PEOPLE (a note for the future)

When you are talking to a person, any person, about anything, and they are telling you a "story", there are aspects of the "story" that will touch you. Some aspects touch you deeply, others may anger you and never reach their intended destination within the"whole" of who you are. The reasons are because of how your life has formed up until that moment, an if you only have an awareness of your own experiences, and your own thinking pattern that was developed from your own experiences, what it comes down to is that their "truth" is never the entire "truth", but only a perspective of part of the "truth". So when we listen with only the parts of our ears, mind, heart, that can resonate with those things we hold as being "truth", we curse ourselves. Why? Because we choose closed mindedness. When we repeatedly insist that our truth is the only truth, and we neglect to change patterns of thinking we have adopted through only our own life experiences and group thinking rather than push our psyches to see a different way that could have been, to blaze a different trail that is uniquely our own, we turn our backs on possibilities and even our own very purpose for living on earth during these difficult times. No one will ever see entirely eye to eye with anyone. That is unrealistic and does little in the way of supporting things like human dignity. We are all on this earth at this time for a reason. All of our reasons may be different in each of our individual realities and trials and tribulations, but there are some things that most people care about, and one thing in particular that touches us no matter how much our subconscious helps us commit spiritual suicide. That Is Love. Undefinable, undeniable, LOVE.

To live in the past is to be dormant in life. To be, in most all ways, "dead". To run from the past and refuse to acknowledge it at all, is like a form of spiritual suicide in too many ways. Our pasts have the ability to cause great change as well as great stagnation. When we bravely face life with love for ourselves we find everything we need to always grow and always move forward. ..not be stagnant and "dead in spirit". 

Live your life whole. Rejoice in the fact that the past is over, and treasure today, because without it, there's no future. Your life begins not with what is around you. Your life begins with what is in you, and you have to build it yourself.


The son has grown, he's choosing path

With fear in eyes, he stands like calf

Oh, Lord, what shall I do and where'd I go?

What shall I search for, what is my role?


There is no way which's purely right,

There is no window which's only bright.

Be my guest, let's solve this secret,

Let's have a journey, so grab your ticket.


But don't forget what people say,

What have they begged for,

What have they prayed.

They tried, they searched,

They've found and lost,


They fought for what they loved the most.

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