It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.
Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would.
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't.
I appreciate and love you for that.
I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found.
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.
Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.
Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.
Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?
I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical.
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?
And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see.
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you.
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?
When, where, who, what
I met a guy, he was cute,
With shinny hair, like drop of dues
I saw him there in the day like blue
As sweet as candy, as naughty as flue.
He sat with me as close as he can,
He kissed my forehead softly like swam,
Which left a blessing on me with few fragrance,
like a fresh rose have when we pluck it then.
The lad who entered, first in my dream,
The prince who is just perfect as my dream,
As handsome as gentle man he seems,
And to protect me he can reach to extreme.
I just feel like to gaze him more,
Keeping him in my eyes always and almost,
The more I think the more eagerly I want him,
This is all because I am deeply crushing on him.
I think of you,
alot now.
I think of you
when I go
to sleep at night,
and when I
wake up in the morning.
I think of you,
more than I've
ever thought about
anyone else ever.
I think of you,
and sometimes
wonder whether you
think of me
during your day.
I think of you,
and my heart
starts to flutter.
It jumps around
inside of my chest,
causing me to
get all giddy!
I think of you
and imagine that
you and I are
standing together,
and you stroke my cheek.
The brush of your hand
leaves a trail of fireworks,
exploading on my skin!
I close my eyes,
while I lay in my bed,
every night.
It's become a new
routine for me,
one that I do
at bedtime each night.
After getting my medicine
to counter my ADHD meds,
and after doing my teeth,
I get my pjs on,
and climb into my bed.
I close my eyes,
and only have to think your name,
and I see a girl.
She's about my height,
and about my size.
She has blond hair,
and has hazel eyes
that tend to change colors.
I see all this,
but I cannot see
what her face looks like.
Where her facial features are,
All I see is a mask.
We walk around,
in the night,
candles that are floating around us.
The sky always lit up with millions of stars,
with the moon full and bright.
I have other things, though,
that I know about this girl.
She's is quite random,
saying lots of random things,
like telling me,
out of no where,
how she likes starburst.
How she also loves skittles and twizlers,
chocolate and tootsie roll pops.
Cherry flavoured tootsie roll pops.
She tells me that she
loves being with girls,
and how she treats them
like they are goddesses.
She tells me that to her,
they are goddesses.
I know that if I ask
her a question,
she'll answer me,
as she doesn't
hide from questions.
After we are tired of walking,
we climb up onto a rooftop,
and we dance.
Pressed up against each other,
arms around one anouther,
no space inbetween us.
We continue talking,
and I learn that
we are so similar.
She loves music,
and it takes her away
from everything,
at least for a little while.
We both love reading.
She loves cooking.
We both love writting,
both love hanging out
with our friends,
and going on long walks outside.
She loves drinking sweet coffee and hot tea,
along with monsters, the drink.
We both love candles,
and the warm sunny days,
along with the rainy days.
Now, there are probably
more things that we have in common,
but I don't want to just go on and on.
Even in my dreams,
I can feel the excitement
that is flowing
through my body.
I can feel the touch of her
on my bare skin.
I am not aware of anything around me,
that is out of my dreams,
now that I've fallen asleep,
with just this girl
on my mind.
I can only hope
that someday,
we might be able to
make some of this dream
come true.
Your name is Erica,
a beautiful name
for an amazing woman.
You make my heart sing,
when you message me,
and I just want to continue
talking to you all day long.
I never want to end
our conversations.
And, I hope, and pray,
that I don't sound like
I'm being possesive,
cause I'm not trying to be.
What I'm trying to say,
is that you mean alot to me,
and you make me feel good,
about myself and the things I do.
You're a sweet person,
one that I'm honored to
have met, and become close to.
You've overcome many obsticals
that the world has thrown at you,
and taken it in stride,
not letting it change who you are.
You're one of a kind,
a once-in-a-lifetime girl,
one that no one can be!
If they were to try,
they wouldn't succeed,
they'd just fall flat!
No one can replace you,
no matter how
hard they try!
Nope, no way!
Erica,
it's hard to describe,
in words,
what effect your
name has on me.
It makes my heart race,
beating faster than usual.
I sometimes get chills
running up and down my arms.
My mouth goes dry,
and it feels as if
no amount of moisture
could get it moist again.
Now Ill go ahead and
bring this to an end,
as I don't want it
to go on too long.
But, my dear,
what I've said here is true,
and so much more can be said,
about what I feel for you!
We texted each other last night,
all the way up to the time
that I had to stop,
say goodbye,
take my medicine,
and go to bed.
But one thing that
has been bugging me,
is how you seemed to think
that me talking to you was
a waste of my time.
I don't understand what
the heck it is that you
were trying to say to me.
Did you not want to talk to me?
Is there something wrong with texting me?
Did you not want to text me?
I'm really confused about it all!
Why can't you just tell me
what was on your mind,
so I can understand what
was going on.
Because I truly want
to figure this out!
I want to know
what was going on,
so I can understand better.
We texted each other last night,
and I felt really good about it.
At least, I was until
you started acting so strange,
and not telling me what
you were thinking,
or whether you didn't want
to talk to me.
Did you not want to talk to me?
If that's so, then why?
I want to know,
it's bugging me,
inside and out.
It's going to drive me nuts!
Just tell me what was going on.
Just tell me why you were acting strange.
Just tell me whether you are okay with texting me.
Just come on!
Just tell me, dude!
Tell me,
tell,
tell me!
I've told you that I like you,
to which you said that
friends were better.
So I think I can handle you
not wanting to text me.
I won't die from it,
if that's what you're thinking.
Just come on!
Just tell me, man!
Tell me,
tell,
tell me!
I've met another girl,
and she's said she likes me.
I like her too, and think she knows,
but I'm not exactly sure.
So, I'll get to know her better,
and maybe go farther from there.
You never really know
what you can get from a relationship,
until you actually try
out your options!
I have a crush
on a certain girl,
and I'm so glad that
she's is sharing with me.
I have a crush
and it's one that is
shared by the girl
that I'm crushing on.
I have a crush,
and the girl says she
loves me too.
Could this day get any better?
I have a crush,
it fills me with a
ginormous tingling feeling
that is spreading throughout my body.
I have a crush,
and it's showing
in pretty much
everything that I do!
I have this crush,
and I want to make it last,
I don't want to ever lose it.
I love her.