truth

Never Thought There'd be You

I got to the point in my life from waiting for you...

To thinking there'd never be a you...

Not long after what had felt like my world began to crumble...

A new home that actually feels like a home came and begin to build into my life.

Loss occured along the way but not because of us.

A stroke who took my grandmother from us, heart failure that took my grandfather from us, and covid-19 who took away my adoptive Father...

Inside I'm still screaming...

I miss my kids too I grieve too for what isn't gone...

My heart understood yours...

You stood by me through it all when everyone else left for less.

I adore that you find me worth it, when I don't.

I love you so much! Xoxo! 

Life without you wasn't really living I kept waiting to die.

Disappointed every time I'd open my eyes...

Until the day the I saw you...

Then they had a reason to want to open every day. 

You're perfect just as you are.

I adore you...

My perfect 10.

My everything...

I was dead until you...

Sometimes I wish I'd met you sooner but I remember who I was too...

I think I needed to be this version of myself first to be perfect for you and that's why it took this long...

I have never love anyone or anything more.

I don't know how I lived without you but I never want to again.

You are more then the light in my life, you're my reason why...

Why I get up again, and again, and again.

Never Thought There'd be a You...

You're the whole a was looking for...

No, never thought there'd be a you...

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about my spouse as of January...my own perfect 10 I never thought I'd meet who truly seems to love me as I do them...I've never felt precious until them...I never thought I'd wake determined to be someone else's perfect as much as I do with them in my life. They're my priority...I adore them...I love them...life without them wasn't life and life without them i don't ever want to know again...xoxo I hope they stay always...

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I'm Not Crying

Your single mother and cousins applauded you because they had faith I was the one.

It felt amazing to be this close to a family that I never met in the flesh.

Seeing them in the form of a discarded diary should have sounded an alarm in my head.

Your voice was so solemn and so soothing that it was like tasting a honeysuckle lollipop.

It was the best flavor I’ve ever had until I told you about the pauper I am providing for.

Then the flies showed up and I spent the next two months swatting them away.

 

One day, I licked the lollipop for the first time since then and tasted manure in the center.

I wondered why something so sweet could taste so repulsive.

But to my surprise, I was struck by the thought that I should have known.

You found yourself a guy you couldn’t wrap around your finger.

I didn’t see it until I was being bled dry and I could barely stay awake.

I had nothing to offer you when you claimed I did.

 

So why were you angry?

Why were you cranky?

I thought you were dandy

When you abstained from hanky panky.

 

All this time, you were still the hurt little boy that was raised in the Pope’s lyceum.

And turned into a lamprey the second I couldn’t give him anything to eat.

If you’re alone and free, I’ve already forgotten about you.

If you deserve better than me, you took the easy way out

By cheating on your test in life and got caught by the pauper.

You whimpered in fear of getting expelled and I was prepared for it.

 

The lamprey within broke free when I couldn’t look at you as the same person I loved before.

You fruitlessly faked your regret and pinned the blame on my ass to get out of jail free.

I’m not crying not because I didn’t care about you.

It was because I have the ending from that film memorized by heart.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? I know. I’ve watched it several times in French as a student.

 

I know my worth. I’m smiling in public while the sun is up

And brightening up the night when it goes down.

Thank you for putting words in my mouth when you were at your lowest.

Can you remind me again what major you’re pursuing?

Because you behaved like a patient in a case study at Arkham to me.

Wake up and smell the roses, my sweet summer child.

If you can’t stand to be where the bald eagles take flight,

Then park yourself on a bench and feed the pigeons.

Arete

Hope is a candle in a sea of darkness, eagerly awaiting the sun. 

Trust is a drop of the purest water, in an ocean full of desert sand.

Loyalty is the assurance of your own two feet, that you will stand.

Love is a bubbling geyser; filling, and rushing to overflowing. 

Empathy is a mother's love, from someone that you don't know.

Peace is an ocean of glass-like water, that ripples of war cannot move.

Honesty is a pure wine, with no dregs to ruin the taste.

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... i could go on

Only the truth is possible.
Lies will just break down
even though believable
in their prettiest gown

Subjective though it maybe
denial is not the answer
makes you see things bitterly
spreading like a cancer

Facts are real and so am i
Why the argument
There easy to indentify
from careful experiment

facts are all unchanging
interpretation is key
It's the theory that's exchanging
It's owned actuality.

There is room for dreaming
from the very top
possibilities start appearing
in your workshop.

so if the evidence is rather thin
if your logic needs to leap
it probably comes from within
delusions you may reap.

so keep it real and take a hold
of things not in doubt
don't let your self be cajoled
by the loudest shout.

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Breakup

Folder: 
Love

Falsehoods and lies

Truth in disguise

Whispers comprise

A doubt in my heart

 

Blinding my eyes

Sorrow and sighs

Darkness will rise

My world falls apart

A Broken Glass

Folder: 
Human

 



A broken glass               

pointed angles all over

giving off its light dimly

Waiting for a trigger.     

  

The broken glass may be a piece of Diamond 

Creating Aura from its universe

Strength from its nucleus

Fragility in shadow

Silence in clearness

 

Words in color

Beauty in balance

Passion in calm

Reflection from darkness

 

See all these sincerities appear on his surface

just exists for someone to find

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

I wrote this poem when I met a man who has beautiful mind but he does not know it himself.

 

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Sometimes Enlightenment is all.

....

 

Heated tongues had no temperance to spare 


Betrayal is a fickle master cloaked in innocence 


Eyes held truths with no regards to context 


Illusions were never more real than when piercing

The heart left to bleed pounding desperately on the floor

Under the foot of merciless pain 


How do you explain the inexplicable? 


Some things just end while others start


The resoning was perfectly logical 

But damned if anyone could see it


Because faith seemed a too bigger thing 

To hold through this broken prism

 

Off they went onto seperate trajectories

Only to find the truth revealed in years of wastedness

 

It was only when they travelled around it in oposite motions

They could see they belonged together


Far too late,  as other sattlites they collected were now in the way

And faith seemed once again bigger to hope for


And not a thing was learnt. 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

 

Heated tongues had no temperance to spare 

Betrayal is a fickle master cloaked in innocence 

Eyes held truths with no regards to context 

Illusions were never more real that when piercing

The heart left to bleed poundind desperately on tge floor

Under the foot of merciless pain 

How do you explain the inexplicable? 

Some things just end while others start

The resoning was perfectly logical 

But damned if anyone could see it

Off they went onto seperate trjectories

Only to find tge truth revealed in 20 years of wastedness

Because faith seemed a too bigger thing 

To hold through this broken prism

It was only when they travelled around it in oposite motions

They could see they belong together

Far too late as other sattlites were in the way

And faith seemed once again bigger to hope for

And not a thing was learnt.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sometimes you need to shine alight on yourself.

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Agamemnon

Folder: 
Freedom

Arrows falling from the sky,

these cowards hiding behind their wall,

 

But we are determined to break through

one way or another

 

Many have already sacrificed their lives on this plain,

but as they say in chess "the pawns must go first"

 

There is too much at stake for us just to go home

too much sweat and blood has already been shed

 

To the last man we will fight,

and to the last man we will die.

 

We wear this armor with our utmost pride,

this disrespect will not stand

 

Agamemnons wrath will be quenched

until Troy falls his revenge will be incomplete

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAqpRvUcyF0

Embrace your masculinity and sexiness. 

Fuck the haters and control freaks who want to suppress your genius.

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Peeling the onion

Peeling the onion

By jfarrell

 

My story, my history

Will come out, layer by layer

Within my poetry

And much of it you won’t like;

“let’s leave those horrors for scary stories”

Like peeling an onion, the deeper you go

The more intense it is

 

When I started writing poetry recently

I upset my sister with it;

It’s stuff she’s got over and buried in the past;

And she is the only one of my relatives I give a stuff about;

But she doesn’t believe that

She believes I stay away out of hate and spite;

I stay away coz I seem to hurt everything I touch

I promised her I wouldn’t write personal stuff

 

Sorry, but I’ve got to break that promise

I write for me, I have to write my story

And I have to write it my way

You can choose to not read

But you cannot tell me not to write;

You found your peace;

I’m still searching for mine.

I need to peel this onion.