cry

Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

What If Faith is Not Enough

Folder: 
Oncology

When reality finally hits you it hurts
When the truth comes into focus it’s brutally painful.
Hope isn't always enough
It’s not always a happy ending.
What happens when faith is not enough?

 

I get hot flashes
My depression splashes
My soul is cold like stone,
the fear of being alone.

 

So now I lay me down to sleep
I pray you lord my soul to keep
Don’t let me die before I wake
I pray you lord my soul do not take.

 

I barely have a past
And may have no future
       Empty pages of a book
       A story left unwritten
       A life left unlived
       A hope left in the dust.
Please don't take me yet
Your mercy you won't regret
I am down on my knees
Begging you please
Don’t take me away.

 

At night I dream a misty graveyard
A tombstone the name I cannot see
A flashlight in the darkness
A figure so lifeless I cannot breathe.
Then I awake not as fearless as I may seem.

 

If this is my future
And if it comes to pass
And this breath be my last
Then this thought to you I cast.

 

What if faith is not enough?
Then life would be rather tough
With nothing to believe in
And nothing to justify
Nothing to keep you sane
Nothing to grasp when you fall
You will have nothing,
nothing at all.

Sometimes that is how I am
Falling in the darkness
With nothing to take hold
This feeling leaves me cold
hearted, soulless, empty.
All I feel is the pain of being unreal
No one knows how this life feels,
when you are so lifeless.

 

So now I lay me down to cry
I pray you lord you can't let me die.
Now I lay me down to sleep
Close my eyes without a peep
Never to be opened again.

 

Your body goes warm then cold like rain
Slowly your body numbs,
to your fingers and your thumbs.
As your body stops working, you feel the cold mist of death
And peacefully while you’re sleeping you take your final breath.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My grandmother, a retired nurse herself, was also another very special person; she always knew that I would overcome my illness. Every day she would take me to the chapel in the church and I would stare at the enormously realistic wood carved statue of Jesus. I would ask “even though you look like you are in more pain than me, can you ask your father to help me.”

 

Then my grandmother and I would go back to the room and say this prayer together;

 

And now I lay me down to sleep and I pray you lord my soul to keep, but if I shall die before I wake, I pray you Lord my soul to take.

 

http://www.murder-in-oncology.com

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"Her Glacier"

“Her Glacier” 

 

Laying down on the shattered glass

I breathe in the shards

Letting the seeping blood drip

 

DRIP...DROP…

 

The ripples resonate and echo,

On the disheartened, crying ice

Eyes… dropping… crystals

Covered my saddened heart

Who, I scream a silent, dry scream,

as if I am in space, underwater

 

To my weeping eyes, “I am sorry for the wasted tears.”

I whisper to the silence, with my vivid vision

The vivid vision blurred by the saltwater tears

Can only see the back of the person I loved

FADE…into the mist of tears

 

The ice that weeps with me, from my ripped feet,

Shatters as I am taken to the abyss…

The very abyss of my own heart

 

I, slowly taken down, down…as I struggle against,

Against the deathly, cold water

As the rose thorns grasp my feet…they take me

To pitch-dark black,

Further…deeper…deeper

To the prison I made myself

 

Here at the ocean floor,

The place that is made out of my own tears

I wait…where the ashes remain

As I hope the pressure of the seven seas

Of my own heart, turns me into diamonds

 

The other part of me, who lives much above me

Where the snow punches your ragged skin,

In the heart of the land of fire and ice,

Awaits, in the concave of a glacier…

 

Aimlessly around the blue glass tsunami,

Breathing in the untainted, crisp cool air

Eyes floating aimlessly

Eyes twinkling endlessly

 

This slow walking giant, taking centuries for each step

Covers the land with its azure ice like a blanket

Treading on the works of any weathering

Glitters with streaks of endless blue…

 

 

O’ the beauty of the blue streaks!

Each a different shade,

Describes the indescribable

His exquisite beauty,

 

Walls as waves and ripples

Of water that has been frozen in time

Forms those very streaks!

Sapphire, Tiffany, Sky, Zaffre, Royal, Navy, Azure and Midnight blue

In bliss…all dancing merrily in this very cave

…an ultimate Eternal Dance

 

She, white light, origin of the viva Earth

Smiles through His crystal

Giving colour and light to His life

Givin’ His form…the Blue Crystal Tsunami.

 

Romance, like lovers, waltzing

even if one of them…will not make it ‘till the end

even if one of them…is slowly killing the other

She, who gives beauty to the giant

I, who lives way below them,

cannot compete…

 

A warm-blooded creature of the land…

It, who decides to wander inside…

runs Its hands on the mosaic of blue

To It, the ice seems to glide

As the twinkling light of the crystal cave winks…

Picturing the two together…

 

Below the glacier " inside the very cave- lays a beach

Crystal…His…Tears

O’ the beach of his tears…when he weeps with me

Slowly melting away

 

Either way,

His blue is much apart from mine,

Sleeplessly, I lay down on the shattered glass

Endlessly, breathing in the stabbing shards

As I accept my fate…way below Him

 

Him.” “Blue Glass Tsunami” = Vatnajökull glacier cave, Iceland

The Land of Fire and Ice” = Iceland. Iceland is known to have volcanoes next to glaciers.

White light, Origin of the viva Earth” “She” = Sun

Beach of his tears” = A ‘beach’ located in the cave itself. The sand is made out of ‘crystal’.

A warm-blooded creature of the land” = A person. Human

Pictures them together” = Takes a picture of the cave with a camera

Even if one of them…is slowly killing the other” = The sun is melting the ice

I” = A landform that sunk to the bottom of the sea, just below the cave. (i.e. ‘the third wheel’)

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         “…and here I wait. For her glacier. Who I knew will never come”

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Normally I'm all about the sensory imagery and using a wide vocabulary, and I know that poetry tends to be much more elaborate than prose, but I feel like the emotions and symbolism you are trying to convey are being lost behind all the extra words you're squeezing in. A lot of the words you've chosen come across as either redundant or misplaced, and that gets a little distracting for your reader(s). As you keep working on this piece, consider whether some of your word choices could be pared back, simplified, or eliminated all together. That will help emphasize the meanings you are trying to express.
Also take some time to consider the purpose of your punctuation. I know that ellipses seem like a nice, dramatic way to emphasize specific phrases and images, but overusing them in this way makes the reader feel like they're constantly trying to catch their breath. Which, hey, could be the very point! Just a thought I had." - C.J. Holmes

بكاء

لك ناصعات الوجد واليل .. البهيم

لك كل نافقات الاماني 

والمستباح ....من الصلاة 

ومن الكلام

.. ولي السلام

Author's Notes/Comments: 

كمال كهربا

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tags:

Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone

Peace Of Strength

Folder: 
People

Through The Dark Night I See Smoke
And In The Day I See Glistering Mist
But In The Time I Reached Out
I Could Not Feel Your Breath
If You Rise And Fight On
I Will Be There For You


And If You Break Down
I Sweat I Will Catch You
I Swear I Will Be There For You
And Until The Day I Cry
I Will Not Give Into The Dark
Never Will I Give Up On Your Smile
Never Will I Say
I Can't Do This Anymore


For What Strenghth I Can't Bring Forth
You Give Me That Inner Peace
I Can't Forget That Ever
You Have Earned A Place In My Heart
Not Because Of What You've Done
Not Because Of What You've Said
But Because Of Who You Are
And What You Mean To Me


And In The End
You Are What Gives Me Strength
You Are The One
Who Keeps Me Moving Forward
You Give Me The Words
When I Have Nothing Else To Say
And When I Was On The Edge Of Giving Up
You Were Always There For Me


Running In Alone

Folder: 
People

Don't Worry About It
I'll Make It By Myself
But I Honestly
I Can't Do This By Myself


Never Surrender
But Don't Give In
I'll Make It Out Alive
I'll Make It Out In One Piece


If I Forget
Then I'm Sorry
Because I Was Lost
I Was Walking In The Dark
And In The Darkness


I Found My Light
I Found You
And When I Found You
Love Engulfed The Darkness
And There Was Only Love Left


I Couldn't Have Done This
Without Your Help
I Would Rather Be With You
Because Honestly
There's No Place I'd Rather Be
I Would Snuggle You
With All Of My Heart


And If There Was Anything
I'd Give Else For This
There Wouldn't Be A Thing
Not a Single Thing
No Amount Of Money
No Amount Of Fame
Can Buy Me
This Peace Of Mind