Suicide isn't a Thank You
SachikoMochiko & SinisterPotatoe (Jack)
“Jack!” my heart falls into a deep, dark, cold abyss as saltwater crystals rush like a waterfall down my cheeks. He ended it. Officers held me back, refraining me from attending his bloody body…his soul has left.
Three months’ post-Jack’s departure, I scuffle his belongings. The old apartment was dewy and rusty at the same time. My calloused fingertips hover past a dusty paper. Hidden. Hidden behind his mirror. I carefully unfold the dust-magnet flat. A poem:
From the hollow pit of my emotions, I’ve reached the end
The end, that determines my fate…
I’ve reached the end, my only friend
The end, that leaves me bent
=
Around the bend, regards have been sent
The very bend left the very dent
As I fend off the reality…I’m bent
=
O’ since the blood drips to my fingertips
We struggle…I struggle
I know it’s hard, we’ve come so far, but everything will eventually be over
Like a story…all stories end, eh?
So, I’ll be the one to end it
=
What goes up must come down…it’s the law
But the law isn’t any determinant…
We protect the law, right?
==
Shhh…
--
Before my empty shell is found dead
Before my empty shell, where my soul left, morphs back to the Earth…where I belong
I promise not to frown
If you’re still in town, I beg you visit my grave,
but I’m sorry my sadness wasn’t a faze
And if your soul is more than grazed by my departure
Know that through all the torture and the pain,
Through all the blood, the tears and the wails…
you were the one who kept me sane
==
Surely, this is an excuse
Well, my only friend…
I am mistaken, I am not bent
I am not dented
But I am broken…unable to function anymore,
in this beautifully rotten world
=
Sunshine or rain, I beg you to refrain from crying,
because at least, I am healed through death
I’m biding my holy time, with every new rhyme it’s a struggle. I can’t smuggle happiness back into my life…
It’s against the law…the laws that I wrote inside my young, naïve mind
The very laws that kept me in this cage
With all this baggage and luggage, I act like I’m at peace
At heart, I’m being weighed down by myself
I pound at the barrier between me and others, my prison,
I’m chained and bound, pulled down, buried in the mud, I was forgotten
But I’ve risen above it
I love it, life, and every knife in the back has brought me a crack in the wall,
however small, someday I’ll break free
I’ve brought forth emotions that have sought to honor the ones who never run from my side
I don’t abide by reasons to cry unless they are tears of joy or a new way to get stronger
When I rot, when my body is nothing but issue
a goner north of my goals, dead in my hole at least I’ll know my soul was honorable
And if your sad, don’t be
I know you think suicide isn’t a thank you, but it’s a sign of escape
Escape from this prison that binds me…
Twists me…
Bends me…
Breaks me…
Have faith, my honors always been a stake, don’t worry, fake words, tongues that lie will eventually break
===
After all, what goes up must come down
And when that happens you will no longer frown, stick around and keep your mouth shut until you have the right to speak
Because suicide may kill me, and weak freaks are fodder for lies, and propaganda flies its flag until the target dies, but words won’t kill the truth
And even though I’ll never know it, you will, write the story, and don’t worry about me
I’m already free
-Jack
Once again, saltwater crystals flow down my cheeks. By not like a harsh waterfall, but like little fairy steps, tickling down my sullen flesh.
“May your soul be free”
This is an extended version of SinisterPotatoes (Jack) original poem Suicide isn't a Thank You. See it here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/SinisterPotatoe/1972625/
Hope you like it! (especially you sir, SinisterPotatoe (Jack))
1) I miss you a lot baby and don’t worry… I’ll wait no matter how long it takes for you to make up your mind. xoxo
2) I love hugging you but I hate letting go. I love saying hello but I hate saying goodbye. I love watching you come towards me but I hate watching you walk away. I miss you.
3) A fish without fins, a bird without wings. A crab without claws, a cat without paws. Me without you, you without me. I miss you.
4) I have been diagnosed with the deadly I Miss You Syndrome due to which I suffer from a permanent and irreversible disability of Missing You all the time. I miss you sweetheart.
5) I want to hold your hand, hold you close, hug you tightly, kiss you softly, and let you rest your head on my chest so that you can hear my heart beat… just for you. I miss you.
get more romantic wishes and other inspirational quotes here Love Quotes for him
The child was chosen to go through a task,
This specific task would give her a mask.
A mask of darkness and loss of hope,
Where she could be and no one else could go.
She was young,
A girl of just eight.
Adult issues and drama,
Would declare her fate.
She closed off her heart so no one could see.
And she felt locked like a bird that couldn’t fly free.
In this cage, she felt lonely and had been frigid like frost,
Self-pity, despair, and that the war was just lost.
There are moments she
Finds her wings feel broken.
Grueling with feelings
And words left unspoken.
Little did she know the war was not over,
And victory was right around the corner.
She peered to the sky that was full of light
No longer lost, she yearned to fight.
Days into months
And months to years,
The pain remained
With fake smiles and tears.
She flew to the ceiling and into the door.
When she thought she was done and could fly no more,
She pushed one more time for one last hurrah!
The door crumbled down to the floor like she thought.
She found solace and light
Along paths she walked
She felt strength and peace
Whenever she talked.
Glad that she fought with all her might,
She flew high and fast past billows of white.
No worries were with her to the great heights she flew.
No more consumed with the feelings of gloom.
With streams of red and rays of gold,
Her heart light again broke free from the cold.
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the words need to be beautifully-provoking
you cannot subjugate them.
they must remain random and free.
they will take time, but be eager.
and when it finally gets out on paper.
you will feel better.
reach for that inspiration,
look for your muse.
and only time will tell
if the words can be put to use.
Write and write, then write some more
Oh how some have said “It’s a bore.”
What do they know? They don’t see
The magic of these words on trees
Tiny strips of once grand woods
Hold whole worlds, even in death
The tree is gone, but life is there
And it grows with every breath
To create such things as worlds and lives
To build them up and rip apart
The power, the emotions, oh dear writer
Here is a portal to your heart
Look at how each person changes
Look at how your worlds expand
Do you see lives rearranging
And all within your master plan
Oh, the excitement! Oh, the joy!
Beauty is here, beauty and life!
In the quiet of humble homes
A universe hides inside
Some poor souls won’t understand
They’ll never see what you have done
Don’t live for them, don’t mold your worlds
To show the cruelty they’ve become
Take a breath, then get to work
Go live within what you create
Be surprised, feel admiration
Feel love, joy, jealousy, and hate
Don’t be afraid to stray away
And wander down an unknown path
Surprise and awe aren’t just for readers
Not everything will need a plan
Just let the life grow on its own
Let the people all be free
And in their freedom, you will find
A world where you may wish to be
Life isn’t set in stone, my friends
And your writing is the same
Your words are alive, so just relax
And walk within your stories
Always remember, your world is living
It’s not just scribbles on a page
And always know, it’s your creation
Be proud, and please, keep writing
I loved you madly so,
You didn’t value my sentiment though,
How could you act like a statue,
Devoid of feelings and virtue?
As a divorced pigeon,
Finds another companion soon,
I’ll start life newly,
Since the destruction of life is cowardly.
Girl, must you remember,
That breaking a heart, you can’t be content ever.
November.30.2000
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
It's almost here
End of time
A drop of a tear
A drop of a dime
The sudden fear
Of losing your mind
Knowing the light is near
It's nothing from man kind
All you know
That's the direction you stear
The pain you have you try to show
But no one is taking notice
Not even trying to care
They would be happy to see you go
It's not really fair
The hate from people you know
Yep it's almost the end of the line
We're either God or the devil
Who takes your soul
And people always thought you were fine
They didn't look deep enough
But yet it is your most challening goal
You even thought you were tough
You haven't figured out yet
But it all changed when you two met
For God to take away
From his horrible sight
You don't want to take another day
You don't want to take on your tears
You don't want to fight
Or face your fears
But in all of this
When someone asks what's wrong
The answers are at miss
And you have nothing to say
You have no reason to live
You realize you're not strong
You don't want any more tasks
To try to take on all by yourself
You need someone to help you
The end of time is near
Someone you need
One that will stick by your side
A love to feed
Someone that's true
Someone who won't hide
Their feelings
Their happiness
Their meaning of life
Their heart
Their love
You need it all
To pick you up when you fall apart
To tell you you're elegant
And beautiful as before
As pure as a dove
Please wipe the sadness
That lurks in your eyes
You don't want that anymore
The madness
That stops you from having blue skies
You try your hardest to ignore
But that in a million years
Will never happen your soul begins to die
By the end of time
I will be weak
To have any love to send
Or any power to seek
The power to mend
That special love
That special friend
My luck has run out
Because I never had none
I feel so trapped
To scream too much it hurts like a ton
IT's so disturbing I can't even dream
I've tried so hard but they have won
I've given up and tried to stick with it
But only for awhile
That never lasts
It goes out of style
And once again
I relive my past
When will it all end
My heartaches
Tears that run like a river
This pain never gives me a break
How do I survive
I then get sick and start to shiver
And this depression is so thick
I no longer feel alive
The end of time is so close to me
I'm dying inside
I just want to be free
I no longer want to hide
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