Reality

Memories

I have so many memories that I could carry through my life.

Some great ones that would keep me entertained for a while.

But the ones that I carry close to my heart are the ones that I spent

with you.

From the moment we met on WWF, our first text message, our first

time talking on the phone, our first time Facetiming, the nights we would

talk on the phone while I was at work, and the moment I got in your car

at the airport.

Do you remember those times?

Those are my happiest memories of my life. 

I can still hear your voice telling me you loved me that night.

I remember what you were doing when you told me that. 

I say those are happy memories but fuck, I am sitting here

crying with sadness.

Not just because I miss you its also because you are the love of my life

and you don't love me anymore.

And I fear you will never love again or that you never love me the way you did back then.

I would give  my life to go back to that time I spent with you and tell you I will come back to you I promise.

That I have seen my future without you and it's dark and gloomy.

And it fucking sucks and its no future. 

Because you are the one I want.

I knew it then and I know it now.

I will always know it.

You are the one I love more than I could ever fucking imagine.

So please know I will be back.

And I would fucking move heaven and hell and come back to you.

I would do everything to be with you.

I wish to God you would see that everyday I live with this regret.

This self hate.

Yes these memories make me happy because I see you beautiful smiling face and those

soft brown eyes that dance when you smile and talk.

Your smile lights up a room and it fills my heart with such love for you.

But it's also bittersweet because you and I were together when I think of those times.

Then reality hits.

And it fucking hits hard.

You are there and I am here.

And you don't love me anymore.

And yet I am still loving you as much as I did then if not more.

Once more your memory comes back and lets me know what a fool I am. 

 

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The Man named Jack who may just be damned

I can’t stop dreaming about your eyes

i want them to be my eyes

i can’t stop staring at your mouth cause I want it on my other set of lips. I can’t help but want to wrap my legs around you

the arousal you cause in me with your mere existence some days makes me feel like I’m going insane. I’m not going to lie. We wouldn’t work if we weren’t both a little crazy. So fuck me like the crazy bitch I know you can be . Cause baby oh baby I don’t want to be your child, I gots my own, I got me and I’m here to get you under me on top of me don’t matter how bring that booty of yours over here. Shame you ever have to sit on it but don’t worry I’ve got an idea we can just set you groin in my mouth mmmm the settle flavors drive me wild. So baby tackle me cause you already got me Locked down show me something new take me on a new adventure I trust you to keep me safe.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Take a guess see if you can make sense out of it welcome to my mond

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Waiting Part 2

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Verse 1:
How long have I waited for you?
All my life, I've never thought
Of a love like this.
The first day we met,
You came into my life so suddenly
That this love crept up on me.


Chorus:
Little did I know
That this love has me thinking:
"Love is worth living for now
'Cause I have someone to share it with.
Also, someone that understands me
Better than anyone else in the world"
No one but you will do.

 

Verse 2:
How long have you waited for me
As I quietly wait for you
To make a move and
Just take a chance on us?
Believe on what is real.
Skip the dramatics.
Let's leave the dramatics behind.

 

Bridge:
I hate to break hearts,
But, I know that
Your eyes speak of our love.
They won't ever lie.
Am I that blind for
Just realizing how
You felt for me all along?

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Beating Heart Part 2

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Band Lyrics

Beating Heart Part 2

Verse 1:

I can feel your heartbeat

Whenever you are with me.

Little did I know

That this would be

My first and last love.

You’re everything I need and want.

 

Chorus:
Even if I fall in love

With somebody else,

You’re my everything.

No one else compares.

It just won’t work out

As much as we love each other.

‘Cause this beating heart

Is your’s to keep.

 

Verse 2:

I get tired of waiting.

We both met when

We were young.

It felt right.

Everything fell into place.

‘Cause this is our love story.

 

Bridge:
When I first met you,

I felt like I knew you.

It was so natural

For both of us

To be together.

Don’t let me go

‘Cause this beating heart

Belongs to only you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Forgot who I wrote this for. Written a few months back.

Beating Heart Part 1

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Beating Heart Part 1

Verse 1:

 With each and every beat of your heart,

I can feel your heartbeat aligned with mine’s.

This beating heart yearns to become

Your’s to keep.

Won’t you take me home tonight?

‘Cause I cannot sleep without you

In my presence.

Hold me tonight,

‘Cause tonight, I’ll be eternally your’s.

 

Chorus:

I never had a love like this before.

Stop your foolish ways of

Pushing me away.

These walls you’ve built up

And the defenses you put up,

I’ll wait for you forever and a day

Because you are my everything.

I cannot do this without you.

Love without restraints.

Love unconditionally.

 

Verse 2:

Can you take on my demons?

Tell me, if you could love me.

This beating heart

Aches to embrace you.

Now, our beating hearts

Have become one

With reality and time.

Won’t you take me home?

‘Cause I’m always there for you.

 

Bridge:

Can’t we try again?

Can’t we love again?

Why must these feelings summon our ending?

Our demise is we feel everything

When it is too late to turn back.

Someday, this beating heart

Will become your’s

Once you realize the errors of your heart.

If only your heart could see me now.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote a lot of songs a few months back but don't really post much in case my work gets plagarized or stolen. Will post "Beating Heart Part 2" momentarily.

Qualities

If I talk about my 6 qualities,

they're not really much of an ability.

 

One of them might be that I obsess over everything,

but that's only because I am very settling.

Second could be that I am good at math and science,

but never could I ever seem to hold an appliance.

Now third comes next, the fact that I cheer people up,

and now that I think of it, it's probably because I'm such a crackup.

 

Those were my best traits,

including that I am very good with dates;

Yes, the one on the calendar,

I don't need to say the worse ones any louder.

 

My next 3 include me being annoying, 

because everything I do or touch, I seem to be destroying.

I also want to stop being so insecure,

or that I'm mean to my brother because I want a sister.

I always hate it when my family make fun of me,

so I always seem to be crying, unfree.

 

Those are all my traits from myself,

the lesson to be learning is to just be yourself!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem back in 6th grade so I decided to post it here haha :)

Our Song

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Verse 1:

From coast to coast,

I still feel it in my bones.

Los Angeles to New York:
It’s time to move on.

 

Chorus:
While New York City is

Home in my bones….

Come on, babe:
Let’s start from here

 

Verse 2:

The call of the motherland

Of where I grew up:

These things connect us together.

It’s going to be a good life.

 

Bridge:

Can you help me

Find a way

To carry on again?

‘Cause Los Angeles is death to me.

 

Last-Chorus:

‘Cause the possibilities are endless.

We weren’t meant

To spend a lifetime waiting.

 

All I hear now is our song on the 101.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song written in 2014. One of many. Dedicated to my New York friends. My Los Angeles friends have no idea where I've been, to be honest.

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A Lie

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Band Lyrics

Verse 1:
If only your heart can see me,

Words have become meaningless.

My spirit is drying up.

Will you be there

Even if I lose myself?

 

Chorus:
Scars were left on that day.

Cold and indifferent words

Made me realize that I'm still a fool

For believing in you.

I depended on you

While you had someone else in mind.

 

Verse 2:

Even if everything between us changes,

My love for you remains.

Because I'm a person

With whom, love is everything,

Now, throw it away.

Now, I shall say goodbye to us.

Goodbye to our memories.

For, everything was a lie.

Lies everyone believed.

 

Bridge:

All those lies 

You told me

Made me fall for you.

Why am I a fool for love?

Take it all away.

I shall let you go now

Because reality finally set in.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About a relationship with a Cluster B personality....Whether it is familial, loving, friendship, etc. It's toxic and dangerous to love an abuser.

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Demons

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Verse 1:

"I'm Sorry" is all I have to say.

I've succumbed to my demons.

They do not sink.

Rather they swim.

Always full of doubts,

I let you go.

I let us go.

 

Chorus:

You treat my love

Like it's a game.

You toy with my feelings.

Treat it as you please.

You got my heart 

Under your control.

You're my puppeteer.

 

Verse 2:

I hold back the tears

From the day you left me.

If your feelings changed,

You should have told me.

I still am in love with you.
"You are the one"

Is what I tell my best friend.

 

Bridge:

I cannot move on...

If only you'd give us a chance,

Letting go would not

Be a problem now.

Now, I shall forget you

Because you forgot about us.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About situationships, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, etc where one person catches feelings but the other doesn't give a fuck. It's unrequited love.