living

STABBING ME... LIKE A KNIFE...

Loneliness has become my best companion,

In the hours of my days and the visions of my night,

The span of life keeps ticking in seconds, minutes, hours,

The sun heats up the noons and the moon dims the nights.

If I had known that my present life would have been so,

I would not have ventured to peer through the glow,

Of what the past had held and what the future would show.

Like a pebble do I lie on a vast stretch of a seashore,

That this is reality washed away to the core.

My existence revolves around earning and caring,

And my smiles spread for the joy of those living,

They spend some time with and then get busy,

With what they think would always be merry.

The winter's coldness keeps on increasing,

While I call to my Maker to give me one loving,

One loving woman who understands my love,

And showers the same like blessings from Above.

How lovely and joyous will then be this life,

Which is now stabbing me... like knife...

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Composed on November 2, 2016, after a routine day at the home and at work.

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Cherish the Love

A moments lapse in judgement, and all else, foretold 
Honest, a waver too true to mention, and a recourse too late in a spiraled dissension was sown
Oh our child, in you we gave, our life, and every breath henceforth, expunged as by a ceaseless dagger
Deliver us, from this dark hour, all who we are, we gave, and in you, laid bare our trust and prayer, deliver us!
Now and then we seek, yet now, inside a woeful heart is beating, and then, a hope that feels all too fleeting 
Inconsolable are the days, in which we must let you walk away, and we stray at the end of a barren stairway
Passive nights trailing by and by, our love for you insatiable, each hour, as the one before, lackadaisical
Through which juncture refuge will we find, to animate and place in motion and succor us through this storm
This is the day, carry on our child, don't you sway, nor dear to falter
Don't be afraid, when he calls, answer him, hineini, here I am.
Rest no judgement upon those who have once suffered, for to atone is to suffer, alas, all shall suffer before long
Bear what has taken place, repent, and realize as with all things, everything comes to pass, even our sins
Cherish each day, don't go astray, don't you run away, there's no control of what was, so don't pause
There is freedom within, akin to countless flowers, we'll cast the emptiness away, clearing for a pathway
From the anguish we return, if we cry, or if we laugh, its not the end, we're unbent and forever unbroken
We'll find that even without, there is freedom, believe in destiny, cherish the life, and cherish the love
By the sea, eventually all are set free, but right now its time to go, very slow, we let go, 
Then after a rainbow, you're there, smiling, and we keep on, because life's worth living for.
E.A.
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Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone

Peace Of Strength

Folder: 
People

Through The Dark Night I See Smoke
And In The Day I See Glistering Mist
But In The Time I Reached Out
I Could Not Feel Your Breath
If You Rise And Fight On
I Will Be There For You


And If You Break Down
I Sweat I Will Catch You
I Swear I Will Be There For You
And Until The Day I Cry
I Will Not Give Into The Dark
Never Will I Give Up On Your Smile
Never Will I Say
I Can't Do This Anymore


For What Strenghth I Can't Bring Forth
You Give Me That Inner Peace
I Can't Forget That Ever
You Have Earned A Place In My Heart
Not Because Of What You've Done
Not Because Of What You've Said
But Because Of Who You Are
And What You Mean To Me


And In The End
You Are What Gives Me Strength
You Are The One
Who Keeps Me Moving Forward
You Give Me The Words
When I Have Nothing Else To Say
And When I Was On The Edge Of Giving Up
You Were Always There For Me


Running In Alone

Folder: 
People

Don't Worry About It
I'll Make It By Myself
But I Honestly
I Can't Do This By Myself


Never Surrender
But Don't Give In
I'll Make It Out Alive
I'll Make It Out In One Piece


If I Forget
Then I'm Sorry
Because I Was Lost
I Was Walking In The Dark
And In The Darkness


I Found My Light
I Found You
And When I Found You
Love Engulfed The Darkness
And There Was Only Love Left


I Couldn't Have Done This
Without Your Help
I Would Rather Be With You
Because Honestly
There's No Place I'd Rather Be
I Would Snuggle You
With All Of My Heart


And If There Was Anything
I'd Give Else For This
There Wouldn't Be A Thing
Not a Single Thing
No Amount Of Money
No Amount Of Fame
Can Buy Me
This Peace Of Mind

High and Mighty

I am the king of the broken

Of us fools

Us defective products

The key you see

Is to love every terrible

crevasse

Of your doomed soul

Adore all the anguish

Upon your weathered smile

Pig out on your pity

Delight in your depression

And breathe

Because the latest breath becomes the rarest

It's not the finale that is precious

It is whatever is next

 

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living for today! 2015

living for today 2015

 

my past has demons and they're circling my head

like vultures in the sky that circle the dead

i cant see my future because i dont have a way

to forget about my past and start living for today

how can one let go of a past so cruel and unfair

it's like asking the lion not to drag you to his lair

i'm still damaged by my past and i'll never be ok

how can i forget my troubles and start living for today

yesturday is gone but its still here in the present

those demons have settled in and made me totally bent

but someday someone will stand by me and say

we'll help you forget so you can start living for today

 

 

        zoeycup16

Author's Notes/Comments: 

   I wrote this one because i am having a hard time letting go of my past but im working on it hope you all like it

                                                          zoeycup16.

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