angry

How Do I Celebrate Valentine's Day?

 

Can’t there be a holiday for the lonely people?

 

People walking around in a daze

 

Makeup running down their cheeks

 

Reflecting on the one who slipped through their needy fingers

 

Or cursing their solitude

 

Wishing no one would have to share their quiet worthlessness

 

No

 

Instead we pile teddy bears onto shelves like shitty food onto cafeteria trays

 

We cram chocolate into heart shaped boxes

 

Packed tightly, claustrophobic

 

Like the air tight monogamy of a committed relationship

 

We buy women expensive lingerie

 

Only to tear it off the minute it’s in front of us

 

We buy overpriced cards so Hallmark

 

Can tell our partner how we really feel

 

And we do it all in the name of love,

 

Or at least whatever we’re calling the social contract conjoining two people

 

Who enjoy talking to each other almost as much as fucking

 

I want a national regrets day

 

Just some sort of terrible liquor on clearance

 

And a note pad where everyone can write down their mistakes

 

Could I finally make my friends jealous as they awe at my expansive scroll?

 

And what about slutty people?

 

Where is their holiday? (If we’re not counting Halloween)

 

Divorced, widowed?

 

I think they deserve a holiday as well.

 

Some people have good reason to avoid relationships

 

Perhaps they had the romance of the century

 

Until an untimely death or illness

 

Maybe he turned out to be a cheater

 

Maybe she turned out to be a he

 

But alas,

 

I get on with my point,

 

Valentine’s Day isn’t the celebration of real love

 

It’s the annual cornballathon ode to our obsessed, idealistic vision of it

 

Love is powerful and incredible

 

But it’s also brutal and gross

 

It has sharp elbows not found on a cuddly teddy bear

 

And when you celebrate love

 

You’re also celebrating jealousy, revenge and despair

 

It may be too darn starry- eyed for one to suggest we stop pretending love is anything you’d be able buy in a store

 

But my non- conformist, abominably angst ridden heart is unrelenting in its pursuit

 

Start enjoying what we really are

 

Not what the commercials say we should be

 

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Curse you

Folder: 
just notes*

I silently curse your name thousand times
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
Curse you for making me doubt my myself ...
Curse you for wanting her!
I'm angry
I'm mad
I'm sad
I'm disappointed
I'm cursing you
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
She's everything I wasn't ...
But I gave you everything ... Without asking for anything
And maybe that's what you wanted ...
I curse you thousand times
And still I can't close my eyes

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Leader of the Broken Hearts

I've come so far

And fought so hard

I've been cast out

Bloody and scarred


But I've stood back up

Continued to fight

Through Hell-fire

And unending night


I am unstoppable

A ruthless juggernaut

Embracing every pain,

Negative feeling and thought


I am the broken,

The beaten, the damned

Bent every which way,

Yet I continue to stand


And I'll continue to fight

'Til the day I die

But even death cannot stop

A force such as I


I will always be here

Roaming the night

Keeping guard

Of what is right


I am an angel

Made from broken parts

I am the leader

Of the broken hearts


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Inspired by Papa Roach

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A Little girl Lost'

Folder: 
Just a thought!

Stained from life, she ponders words,She can't exist without them.

Chasing memories in her mind,

The ones she lived without him.

Seeking refuge in tainted thoughts,

Never realizing wanted dreams,

Tossing and turning, restless sleep,

Awakened again by pictured screams.

Time doesn't seem to heal all wounds,

It just predicates the cost..

Always tortured in my own mind...

I remain... "A little Girl Lost"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"A Little Girl Lost"   ...."Written for those....well....you know who you are...

                                                                                                 ... or maybe, you don't!"...

Author of

I AM THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS THAT HAVE NO REAL MEANING

I AM THE STEPPER OF STAIRS THAT CLIMB TO THE HEAVENS

TO FIND THAT HEAVEN IS NOT THERE

I AM NOT THE VICTIM BUT THE ONE WHO SEES ALL

WHO KNOWS HIS OWN DEMISE

I AM THE MAN WHO HAS WATCHED HIS LOVES GO TO OTHERS

HAS STARED AT TROPHIES WITH JEALOUS EYES

THE WAY THEY SHINED AND WERE HELD ABOVE ME

THE CHAMPIONS THAT HELD THEM GLEAMING

LIKE THE IRON SPADES SEWN ON LEATHER JACKETS

THAT THE PERSIANS WORE TO WAR

INHERENTLY SMALLER THAN ANYONE

INHERENTLY MORE TORTURED

IM THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT NOTHING

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOWS MY OWN FATE

WANTS TO STOP IT

I KNOW IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND

I KNOW THAT MISSING SOMEONE IS DIFFICULT

BUT THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS SPIN AS LONG AS THERE IS THE BEAUTY WITHIN YOUR HEART INHABITING IT

I AM JUST THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS WITH NO REAL MEANING

MISSING ME IS LIKE MISSING AN OLD JUNKY CAR

DONT BE TOO SENTINMENTAL

YOU CAN FIND COMFORT IN MY VERSES

DONT LOOK AT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS

LOOK AT THE SUN AND KNOW IT SHINES FOR YOU

I'LL BE BEHIND THE MOON SHINING FOR YOU TOO

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Honestly just wrote this now. it's about friends that see the good in you (even if it's completely manufacture) and sort of weirdly biographical. idk im bad at this but if you enjoy this than hey awesome let me know!

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I Was Just Leaving

Maybe it’s me

Always overly acquainted with the all knowing eyes

And the rubbernecking of studying stares

The steady flow of innuendo

Perplexing

The arrows of displeasure aimed in my direction

All for having lowered my anchor

Rejoicing in where I’ve landed

Maybe not the preferred destination

But content with the richly cultivated grains of my being

Fertilized in fortitude from the favor I’ve been granted

And the divine soils in which my feet have firmly been planted

 

Maybe it’s me

Because my world is now serene

No longer entertaining the misunderstanding of me

And those who are still burdened

When I feel no obligation to explain the essence of my theme

Or the reasons for my chosen path

Those of which have caused my soul to scream

Far too often in the past

 

Maybe it’s me

Because these beads of perspiration are not from disregard

But they are the manifestation

Of the tenacity in my concentration

When focused on me

 

I choose to stay missing

Though easily seen

My words remain reserved

Because gossip breeds the judgment of others

And that is not my bridge to cross

Nor will it be my cross to bear

Because I choose conversation that promotes elevation

And for that reason my words I do not spare

 

What you can’t own gives you unrest

And I wouldn’t dare to leave you grieving

So excuse me for inhaling the same air that you’ve been breathing

And it’s okay

Don’t bother getting up

Because I was just leaving

 

Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am who I am. Take it or leave it. Love me or hate me. Either way I'm through justifying the essence of me. Only God can judge me

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tags:

Sugar and Cyanide

Feeling alive,

sugar and cyanide,

bursting into flames,

thoughts twinkle

and teeter on the edge,

crashing all the walls down,

collages formed,

pictures of us catch

fire,

faults start to form,

appears like cracks in mirrors,

screams scorch anything

you every said,

the I love you's,

the I will be there,

was lies,

not taking it I

try to stop the tapes,

try to stop

the memories,

pressing stop

I take out the film,

wanting the end

I cuddle up to you,

looking into your black eyes,

I take out a match,

igniting the spark I light your body on fire,

not even feeling I walk away without

looking back,

no more of the I love you again,

grow up,

when a heart

break it never breaks even,

never do a women wrong,

don't play with fire if you can't

 

handle the bright fire

To Become

Society's filled so dark
A sickness fit to last
A hasty hungry shark
A one that bites the glass

The air turns a poison mist
and the grass turns to a distant waste
A glare becomes a fist
and then a flower becomes erased











Aggression

 

A burning fire fulfills the innermost humanly desires

Internal anger explodes when it is heavily built up and can not be controlled when the rage unfolds, my dare to you is to call me a liar

It is not 'cute' to see what my angry state is capable - - don't mistake me for being emotional

There's much more than just emotion swelling inside, with the fear to die I want to stay unbreakable

To be so easily broken can by malicious words alone can bring a strong person to their knees

Becoming a train wreck is not what I allow myself to be, those who are called the 'enemy' needs more than words to get me to leave

To do everything you wanted is not enough for you, what is there to do to satisfy you?

Caring reaches a breaking point when there isn't an end to your displeasure; a match not meant to be, severe negativity you produce will always let me lose

Aggress, Aggress, Aggression

Confess, Confess, I have a confession

Nobody is perfect in everything they do... its just how opinionated people's sense of taste in the way they choose to see you

Some like I don't care what viewpoints people may debate in a feud, meanwhile others believe they always have something to prove

Adding fuel to the tank will leave a person enraged without a doubt

The attempts hurt someone's feelings will leave the attacker in emotional distress or pain's shroud

It is possible to for every person to get aggressive

Anger Management isn't necessary for those who doesn't make their furious behavior to get overly obsessive

Obsess to the point pain infliction on the innocent is okay

It results in arrest by the authorities to keep the individual at bay, devising abuse on their prey

Spare me the doctors who try diagnose solutions to my mental condition

Their analyzing words meaningless to what was the opposing person's mission

I'm not fully sick, nor am I just a bitchy chick ; But its true I can be an insolent prick

I'm not Ms. Popularity, more than a few people out there are out to upset others with arrogance when opinions don't click

Acceptance is the key to partial happiness

 

Perfection doesn't exist in everyone's emptiness instead of drowning people further in the pool of misery, I cause injury by slaying them with kindness

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