Can’t there be a holiday for the lonely people?
People walking around in a daze
Makeup running down their cheeks
Reflecting on the one who slipped through their needy fingers
Or cursing their solitude
Wishing no one would have to share their quiet worthlessness
No
Instead we pile teddy bears onto shelves like shitty food onto cafeteria trays
We cram chocolate into heart shaped boxes
Packed tightly, claustrophobic
Like the air tight monogamy of a committed relationship
We buy women expensive lingerie
Only to tear it off the minute it’s in front of us
We buy overpriced cards so Hallmark
Can tell our partner how we really feel
And we do it all in the name of love,
Or at least whatever we’re calling the social contract conjoining two people
Who enjoy talking to each other almost as much as fucking
I want a national regrets day
Just some sort of terrible liquor on clearance
And a note pad where everyone can write down their mistakes
Could I finally make my friends jealous as they awe at my expansive scroll?
And what about slutty people?
Where is their holiday? (If we’re not counting Halloween)
Divorced, widowed?
I think they deserve a holiday as well.
Some people have good reason to avoid relationships
Perhaps they had the romance of the century
Until an untimely death or illness
Maybe he turned out to be a cheater
Maybe she turned out to be a he
But alas,
I get on with my point,
Valentine’s Day isn’t the celebration of real love
It’s the annual cornballathon ode to our obsessed, idealistic vision of it
Love is powerful and incredible
But it’s also brutal and gross
It has sharp elbows not found on a cuddly teddy bear
And when you celebrate love
You’re also celebrating jealousy, revenge and despair
It may be too darn starry- eyed for one to suggest we stop pretending love is anything you’d be able buy in a store
But my non- conformist, abominably angst ridden heart is unrelenting in its pursuit
Start enjoying what we really are
Not what the commercials say we should be
I silently curse your name thousand times
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
Curse you for making me doubt my myself ...
Curse you for wanting her!
I'm angry
I'm mad
I'm sad
I'm disappointed
I'm cursing you
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
She's everything I wasn't ...
But I gave you everything ... Without asking for anything
And maybe that's what you wanted ...
I curse you thousand times
And still I can't close my eyes
Stained from life, she ponders words,She can't exist without them.
Chasing memories in her mind,
The ones she lived without him.
Seeking refuge in tainted thoughts,
Never realizing wanted dreams,
Tossing and turning, restless sleep,
Awakened again by pictured screams.
Time doesn't seem to heal all wounds,
It just predicates the cost..
Always tortured in my own mind...
I remain... "A little Girl Lost"
I AM THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS THAT HAVE NO REAL MEANING
I AM THE STEPPER OF STAIRS THAT CLIMB TO THE HEAVENS
TO FIND THAT HEAVEN IS NOT THERE
I AM NOT THE VICTIM BUT THE ONE WHO SEES ALL
WHO KNOWS HIS OWN DEMISE
I AM THE MAN WHO HAS WATCHED HIS LOVES GO TO OTHERS
HAS STARED AT TROPHIES WITH JEALOUS EYES
THE WAY THEY SHINED AND WERE HELD ABOVE ME
THE CHAMPIONS THAT HELD THEM GLEAMING
LIKE THE IRON SPADES SEWN ON LEATHER JACKETS
THAT THE PERSIANS WORE TO WAR
INHERENTLY SMALLER THAN ANYONE
INHERENTLY MORE TORTURED
IM THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT NOTHING
I AM THE ONE WHO KNOWS MY OWN FATE
WANTS TO STOP IT
I KNOW IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND
I KNOW THAT MISSING SOMEONE IS DIFFICULT
BUT THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS SPIN AS LONG AS THERE IS THE BEAUTY WITHIN YOUR HEART INHABITING IT
I AM JUST THE AUTHOR OF STUPID POEMS WITH NO REAL MEANING
MISSING ME IS LIKE MISSING AN OLD JUNKY CAR
DONT BE TOO SENTINMENTAL
YOU CAN FIND COMFORT IN MY VERSES
DONT LOOK AT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS
LOOK AT THE SUN AND KNOW IT SHINES FOR YOU
I'LL BE BEHIND THE MOON SHINING FOR YOU TOO
Maybe it’s me
Always overly acquainted with the all knowing eyes
And the rubbernecking of studying stares
The steady flow of innuendo
Perplexing
The arrows of displeasure aimed in my direction
All for having lowered my anchor
Rejoicing in where I’ve landed
Maybe not the preferred destination
But content with the richly cultivated grains of my being
Fertilized in fortitude from the favor I’ve been granted
And the divine soils in which my feet have firmly been planted
Maybe it’s me
Because my world is now serene
No longer entertaining the misunderstanding of me
And those who are still burdened
When I feel no obligation to explain the essence of my theme
Or the reasons for my chosen path
Those of which have caused my soul to scream
Far too often in the past
Maybe it’s me
Because these beads of perspiration are not from disregard
But they are the manifestation
Of the tenacity in my concentration
When focused on me
I choose to stay missing
Though easily seen
My words remain reserved
Because gossip breeds the judgment of others
And that is not my bridge to cross
Nor will it be my cross to bear
Because I choose conversation that promotes elevation
And for that reason my words I do not spare
What you can’t own gives you unrest
And I wouldn’t dare to leave you grieving
So excuse me for inhaling the same air that you’ve been breathing
And it’s okay
Don’t bother getting up
Because I was just leaving
Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved
Feeling alive,
sugar and cyanide,
bursting into flames,
thoughts twinkle
and teeter on the edge,
crashing all the walls down,
collages formed,
pictures of us catch
fire,
faults start to form,
appears like cracks in mirrors,
screams scorch anything
you every said,
the I love you's,
the I will be there,
was lies,
not taking it I
try to stop the tapes,
try to stop
the memories,
pressing stop
I take out the film,
wanting the end
I cuddle up to you,
looking into your black eyes,
I take out a match,
igniting the spark I light your body on fire,
not even feeling I walk away without
looking back,
no more of the I love you again,
grow up,
when a heart
break it never breaks even,
never do a women wrong,
don't play with fire if you can't
handle the bright fire
A burning fire fulfills the innermost humanly desires
Internal anger explodes when it is heavily built up and can not be controlled when the rage unfolds, my dare to you is to call me a liar
It is not 'cute' to see what my angry state is capable - - don't mistake me for being emotional
There's much more than just emotion swelling inside, with the fear to die I want to stay unbreakable
To be so easily broken can by malicious words alone can bring a strong person to their knees
Becoming a train wreck is not what I allow myself to be, those who are called the 'enemy' needs more than words to get me to leave
To do everything you wanted is not enough for you, what is there to do to satisfy you?
Caring reaches a breaking point when there isn't an end to your displeasure; a match not meant to be, severe negativity you produce will always let me lose
Aggress, Aggress, Aggression
Confess, Confess, I have a confession
Nobody is perfect in everything they do... its just how opinionated people's sense of taste in the way they choose to see you
Some like I don't care what viewpoints people may debate in a feud, meanwhile others believe they always have something to prove
Adding fuel to the tank will leave a person enraged without a doubt
The attempts hurt someone's feelings will leave the attacker in emotional distress or pain's shroud
It is possible to for every person to get aggressive
Anger Management isn't necessary for those who doesn't make their furious behavior to get overly obsessive
Obsess to the point pain infliction on the innocent is okay
It results in arrest by the authorities to keep the individual at bay, devising abuse on their prey
Spare me the doctors who try diagnose solutions to my mental condition
Their analyzing words meaningless to what was the opposing person's mission
I'm not fully sick, nor am I just a bitchy chick ; But its true I can be an insolent prick
I'm not Ms. Popularity, more than a few people out there are out to upset others with arrogance when opinions don't click
Acceptance is the key to partial happiness
Perfection doesn't exist in everyone's emptiness instead of drowning people further in the pool of misery, I cause injury by slaying them with kindness
Happiness is what she confides in
As she stares into the night
There's nothing more satisfying
His comfort felt so right
She loves that calming look
As she looks deep in his eyes
But she suddenly has this feeling
That he's holding back some lies
He suddenly turned away from her
Now she felt so tossed
How can someone "complete" you
But continue to feel so lost
As she backs off from him
Her tears flowing down her face
He explains to her so tenderly
That he just needs some space
So weeks went by without one call
She started to feel her rage
He had her where he wanted her
Chained down and in a cage
She caught a glimpse of him one day
Her tummy in a whirl
For what she saw was full of pain
Him kissing another girl
Since that day she caged her voice
She put away her soul
Until that day she married him
And made her heart feel whole<3