The Endless Cycle
© 2017 SachikoMochiko
Every mistake, loss, failure or breakdown…it’s your choice whether or not to suffer from it.
“I am a human. Just like you and me. I’m young, 13 years of age, but I already feel old. I have learnt that, whatever situation you are in now, it’s temporary. So, enjoy or endure it to the fullest!
Whether is another human, your passion or yourself, you fall for it. This poem I wrote is inspired by both my life and my fellow friends who write with me, sharing their stories. There are many different ways to view this poem. I spent many hours choosing how to structure this and the word choice. I wanted to share this to people who can relate and inspire other writers.”
I’m absolutely sick of falling
Falling in love and making the same mistake
Eaten by jealousy
Thinking that it would work
Even when that person who I sought,
Catches another
Thinking that they want you
Even if the kindness expressed is just…
Them.
Whenever I fall,
And no one sought me
I fall into a deep, cold abyss
Isolating both heart and body
From this rotting world
Suffocating me and myself
From thinking that I will fall again
But again, I find peace at the bottom…
Sitting just above the bedrock of grief
Where your screams of heart break
Is muted by the sea of tears
But I hunger to fall
To seek for another cradle of arms
After craving for so long
I trick myself
That my heart has moved on
To someone for me
But deep, deep down…
I know it is just a mask
A mask to cover the disheartening pain
And to keep me sane
As I walk amongst the beings
It’s an endless cycle…
A cycle that is deemed to run my world
My kingdom,
My psyche,
My crust,
Like a wheel with a tempting needle
Waiting to cast me to sleep
As it wheels me away to again start the cycle
Even if my consciousness is aware
I shrug it off thinking I’m happily a rolling pebble
A rolling pebble that has been dropped
Dropped into a saltwater sea of fish
Where plenty of fish swim to escape
Escape the rotting world above
I’m a pebble after all
I was meant to sink to the bottom
Or be split in half by the fish
But as the hundreds and thousands of centuries
Wear me down
My calloused, guarded heart cracks open
As the pressure of the rotting earth
I. Become. The. Diamond.
It was not long after,
I was extracted from the bedrock of grief
HEATED…
POLISHED…
Until the skin of this pebble
Peels like those onion that brought tears to my eyes
Someone has found the brightest part of me
Someone has found my beauty
Someone has also fallen…like me
In a mere emotion with two sides
Love
&
Hate
Well, congratulations that someone
Because you have found a rare one
Only one here on this earth
My mere gratitude cannot express…
Express how undeniably grateful I am
===
The two of us creates another;
“I’m absolutely sick of falling”,
she said…
-SachikoMochiko
I walk endless an road
locked into a heavy load
Of these questions and fears
Gripping from it's unreasonable tears
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another day
As I wake up to the sun's harsh light
I try not to look back
As I attempt to fill this crack
Of this hurt and wonder
Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another night
As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might
I wake up in the morning, thinking about how I will be laughed at soon, I go to school, everybody stares, I go home, I get ignored by my parents, I go to bed, wake up and repeat. It is endless.
A Rhyming Thingy
Laying; staring into the corners of my box room
Ceasing at the slightest sound of movement, only to slowly resume
Letting my mind run as I glance at the bright numbers nearby
Wondering when deaths brother will come taketh me away from where I lie
Waiting, watching, the hour seems endless
But there is no other option nonetheless
Why must I endure this?
Why can't I escape my own mental furnace?
All I can do is lie and wait
Wait for Death's brother to quickly change my mental state
The evensong has almost been sung, still I reside, still I lie
Forever trapped in my own mind's eye