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The Endless Cycle

© 2017 SachikoMochiko

 

 

Every mistake, loss, failure or breakdown…it’s your choice whether or not to suffer from it.

 

 

“I am a human. Just like you and me. I’m young, 13 years of age, but I already feel old. I have learnt that, whatever situation you are in now, it’s temporary. So, enjoy or endure it to the fullest!

 

Whether is another human, your passion or yourself, you fall for it.  This poem I wrote is inspired by both my life and my fellow friends who write with me, sharing their stories. There are many different ways to view this poem. I spent many hours choosing how to structure this and the word choice. I wanted to share this to people who can relate and inspire other writers.”

 

 

 

I’m absolutely sick of falling

 

Falling in love and making the same mistake

 

Eaten by jealousy

 

Thinking that it would work 

 

Even when that person who I sought, 

 

Catches another

 

Thinking that they want you

 

Even if the kindness expressed is just…

 

Them.

 

 

Whenever I fall,

 

And no one sought me

 

I fall into a deep, cold abyss

 

Isolating both heart and body

 

From this rotting world

 

Suffocating me and myself

 

From thinking that I will fall again

 

 

But again, I find peace at the bottom…

 

Sitting just above the bedrock of grief 

 

Where your screams of heart break 

 

Is muted by the sea of tears

 

 

 

But I hunger to fall 

 

To seek for another cradle of arms

 

 

After craving for so long

 

I trick myself

 

That my heart has moved on

 

To someone for me

 

But deep, deep down…

 

I know it is just a mask

 

A mask to cover the disheartening pain

 

And to keep me sane

 

As I walk amongst the beings

 

 

 

It’s an endless cycle…

 

 

 

A cycle that is deemed to run my world

 

My kingdom,

 

My psyche,

 

My crust,

 

Like a wheel with a tempting needle 

 

Waiting to cast me to sleep

 

As it wheels me away to again start the cycle

 

 

 

Even if my consciousness is aware 

 

I shrug it off thinking I’m happily a rolling pebble

 

A rolling pebble that has been dropped

 

Dropped into a saltwater sea of fish

 

Where plenty of fish swim to escape

 

Escape the rotting world above

 

 

 

I’m a pebble after all

 

I was meant to sink to the bottom

 

Or be split in half by the fish

 

 

But as the hundreds and thousands of centuries

 

Wear me down

 

My calloused, guarded heart cracks open

 

As the pressure of the rotting earth

 

I. Become. The. Diamond.

 

It was not long after,

 

I was extracted from the bedrock of grief

 

HEATED…

 

POLISHED…

 

Until the skin of this pebble

 

Peels like those onion that brought tears to my eyes

 

 

Someone has found the brightest part of me

 

Someone has found my beauty

 

Someone has also fallen…like me

 

In a mere emotion with two sides

 

 

Well, congratulations that someone

 

Because you have found a rare one

 

Only one here on this earth

 

My mere gratitude cannot express…

 

Express how undeniably grateful I am

 

===

The two of us creates another;

 

“I’m absolutely sick of falling”,

 

 

 

-SachikoMochiko

I walk endless an road

locked into a heavy load

Of these questions and fears

Gripping from it's unreasonable tears

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another day

As I wake up to the sun's harsh light

 

I try not to look back

As I attempt to fill this crack

Of this hurt and wonder

Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another night

As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might

I wake up in the morning, thinking about how I will be laughed at soon, I go to school, everybody stares, I go home, I get ignored by my parents, I go to bed, wake up and repeat. It is endless.

A Rhyming Thingy

Laying; staring into the corners of my box room
Ceasing at the slightest sound of movement, only to slowly resume
Letting my mind run as I glance at the bright numbers nearby
Wondering when deaths brother will come taketh me away from where I lie
Waiting, watching, the hour seems endless
But there is no other option nonetheless
Why must I endure this?
Why can't I escape my own mental furnace?
All I can do is lie and wait
Wait for Death's brother to quickly change my mental state
The evensong has almost been sung, still I reside, still I lie
Forever trapped in my own mind's eye