There comes a time,
when nothing fits,
nothing works.
It is in this time
that words seem lost,
and ideas evade.
What shall be done?
How to take the
cork out of the bottle?
Perhaps a walk, a jog,
and a jump will suffice
to shake it loose.
I walk endless an road
locked into a heavy load
Of these questions and fears
Gripping from it's unreasonable tears
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another day
As I wake up to the sun's harsh light
I try not to look back
As I attempt to fill this crack
Of this hurt and wonder
Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another night
As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might
Do you run the risk of breaking down too deep,
is this what you were wishing for,
when the rain was bearing down on me and together we hit the floor?
did you get lost; caught up in the undertow?
are you miles off the shore?
you're never gonna get to heaven--
but hell's got open doors.
peace is an idealism
and happyness is an emotion
both are the same sides of two differant coins.
psycologicly not possible yet highly probable
at the possiblity of reaching this state of mind.
so many subjects and effects
that dilutes and tampers the overall outcome
many people want to achive this.
yet so few do.
yet from the outside looking in
i feel as i am the only one
with the uncertanty on how to go about this
am i chemicly imbalanced or is it the self indulgence
that devistates my state of mind
all i can give is a piece of mind
due to lack of my high state of mind
so close in prononciation
that it almost fucks the product from being interpretable
well i dont mind waking up alone
and i miyself find that incredable
yet my lack of peace and happnyness is indefinable
yet isolation plays a roll into the solution
but the solvant isnt me its the lack of restitution
even an institution seems a little more desreable
well my outlook on life is my greatest downfall
witch this situtation is nothing but a paradoxal preffix
to the little ironic known fact that i am sleepless
yet i consider myself a dreamer
well more like defeater due to the lack of success
(i am glad i am not in theater)
many people try to steryotype and say i am just simply lazy
well you forgot the underlined message
that joey fucking drake is cleary fucking crazy
I feel like I am stuck in the middle
Like I am suck between now
And what could have been
If only, if only
What might have been?
What never was?
I know I don’t want to go back
Because I know who I was
And that’s not who I want to be
But if I could keep him
And drop all that I used to do
I would like that the most
But I can’t go back in time
No matter how much I wish it
So I can’t waste time on wishes
But I can change the future
But how do I do that?
Maybe, I’ll never know
All this plagues me every night
Makes it so I cant sleep
But maybe that is just because
I want him to be near me
And hold me as I sleep
Oh, back to wishing
~Chrystal
Written on
October 1, 2011
Everytime i try to stand,
somebody comes along, and pushes me back down again.
Everytime i turn on a light,
somebody comes in and takes the bulb.
Everytime i open my eyes,
Somebody comes and closes them tight.
Everytime i reach my hand out,
somebody grabs it and then lets go.
Everytime i scream out,
somebody comes past, and ignores it.
Everytime i get warm,
somebody takes my sweat shirt away.
Everytime i trust and belive,
somebody shows me not too.
Everytime i breath,
somebody out there, trys to stop me.
Everytime i do anything in life, there is always somebody wanting me to lay down and die.
Well thats not going to happen. this time.