insomnia

Insomnia, The Long Night

The long night, one of many.

 

A person glances at a clock radio.

 

They are neither asleep nor awake.

 

They lie there, uncomfortable, restless.

 

Their mind races away, teasing them with scenarios of ruin.

 

The seconds tick by, slowly.

 

The person longs for sleep,

 

Or for dawn, for a new day.

 

An hour later, they remain awake,


Unable to relax, but unable to think properly.

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The sofa

I fell asleep on the sofa

as if that want the plan

sleep come so rarely

i do it where i can.

 

I woke up on the sofa

with a crick in my back

pleased that my dreams 

Will no longer attack.

 

I rose from my sofa

to fetch myself a drink

i have come to the conclussion

that maybe i over think.

 

I looked at the sofa 

dominating the room

last nigh was so successful

i will be back soon.

 

I reasoned that my sofa

was as good as a bed

who's going to tell on me

now that sleep has fled.

 

I have hope that my sofa

appreciated the use

doing it's job expertly

sleep and i made a truce.

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Solitary night

 
 
Solitary night
 
tears of dissatisfaction
 
choking on memories
 
a torrent as the dark presses in
 
Searching, seeking
 
the long-awaited slumber
 
of each miserable, useless regret of yesterday
 
Yet, afraid to face the uncertainty of tomorrow
 
 
 

Insomnia

Folder: 
Just For Fun

With night comes thoughts into my mind

Philosophically broad and deep

Why do I sit here counting fireflies

When I should be fast asleep?

 

What if Atlas shrugged

And Prometheus lied?

Enkidu lived

And Gilgamesh died?

Horus instead had been fried?

Anubis a coward who'd always hide?

 

What if we're all dead inside

And stay that way because of pride?

 

What is the difference between apples and oranges?

Why are patients so afraid of syringes?

Why must something go up, and then down

Why do the wealthy always seem to frown?

 

What I'm trying to say

I must protest

Whilst I stutter

And give it my best

That life is all-in-all a test

To live or die beyond our rest

 

Rest, rest, I wish I could

And if I could, I surely would

Some peace and quiet, I must confess

Would surely give this brain a rest

SLEEP

SLEEP

Sometimes at night

When I can’t sleep

I start to count

Those stupid sheep

 

One by one

Or two by two

So then I have

Something to do

 

I hope I don’t

Seem really dumb

But where the heck

Do they come from

 

I’m sure it’s not

This great big flock

That they break out of

Around the clock

 

They must wind up

In some large pen

Something, big enough

To keep them in

 

They can’t just go

On their merry way

You can’t just let them

Go astray

 

So I wait

For Little Bo Beep

To take her flock

And let me sleep

BOEMS BY JA 104    

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tags:

~ SLEEP ~

             ~ Sleep ~                         

 

Sleep continues eluding me
while thoughts of you keep pursuing,
stopping my dreams from unfolding 
& knowing dawn comes early,
it wakes me to reality 
knowing there will never be
what could've been, what might've been, 
& so I'm waiting, while pursuing
a kind of on-hold aching peace
filled with lingering remembering
wondering if you, too
are ever sleepless
thinking about me................................

 

 

Sleep calls to me, 
but my heart is just not listening,
as the overflow
keeps gently falling
like autumn rain 
on gardens still growing
though summer's come & gone already, 
with winter's soon arrival coming,
when the seed will finally fall & die
when you're no longer in my life
but in the one to come, & finally
home will be reality
as it always felt yet never could be
between us, as it was meant to be.....................

 

 

I love you more than I've let free,
it remains hidden within the depths of me,
as I let you go you're still in all I see,
but I know I must just let you be
while reaching yet withdrawing, all in disguise, 
it's expressing from my eyes & with my sighs,
yet words are never spoken freely,
truths are hidden, although I see
this love will never go away
until we do, & that's ok, 
love never ends, 
til we go home...
...I'll endure loving while alone...................

 

 

Sleep's the escape 
I need to find,
I cannot get you off my mind, 
but I know I must crucify
what's refusing to depart or die, 
so exhausted though I am right now
I will lay all this down somehow
& let His Spirit minister to my heart
that {even with His peace} is still torn apart,
only He knows the secrets within,
only He understands my secret sin,
only He can help me understand
what is & isn't in His plan,
so sleep, come find me, bring release
from words that circle, searching for peace.
              *~*~*~*~*

~ Anastazia Rowe ~    
Oct. 30th, 4 am, 2017.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Take it all, Lord....cleanse & restore ONLY what is YOUR perfect will...
...mine is blind to how You see things tonight, 
so I let the rest fall into the ground & die like a grain of wheat,
fruitless 'til death comes & heals & transforms me ~

 

{G'nite, hopfully, at 4:30 am, almost...}

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Dear Slumber (A Prose for Sleep)

Folder: 
Just Rambling

Dear Slumber,

Why do you play hard to get? Are you coy and shy? Or are you power-tripping on your ability to stay just beyond my grasp? The more I pursue you, the more elusive you become. You're such a flirtatious tease--flaunting and dangling your seductive wares with no intention of paying up. Just empty promises. A yawn here, a nod of the head there, but no real payoff. It's cruel--false advertisement is criminal. You've got me grinding my teeth in frustration--giving me just enough to make me realize there's something bigger just out of my reach--guaranteeing I'll keep coming back until I attain that nebulous "more". My eyes are burning. Tears streaming down my cheeks. The tension is unbearable. And yet, I can't be angry because I need you. You have unfair advanage because the entire world needs and wants you--and those who say they don't are lying to themselves. What's it like to be desired by 7 Billion people? However, for the moment, let's not worry about the other 6,999,999,999. I know I have to share you. I accept that. But tonight--it's just about you and me, and in this moment, all I know is that I can't see straight without you. Can't think straight without you. Don't wanna hafta go another day--not another minute--without you. It seems impossible to get enough of you. I'm dangerous and in pain from the lack of you. I don't wanna play games with you. I know some fight you--but that's not me. I'll take you whenever and wherever and however I can get you: be it day or night--bed, floor, car, in a roomful of people. I. DON'T. CARE. Can't you see that I'm desperate? I'm shamelessly begging. Praying. Please don't toy with me anymore. I'm too old for this. Is this payback for my youthful ignorance and indiscretion and immaturity when I thought I could get along without you? If so, then I swear, I'll never take you for granted again. I've learned my lesson. I'm waving the white flag. I'm not going anywhere. There's no substitute for you. I love you, and when you're ready, you know where to find me. Until then, I'll be. . .

Waiting,
Kyla

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this back in 2012 so I need to change that 7 billion to 8 billion.

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A Sleeping Insomniac

He thrashes around in his sleep now

Punching the wet pillow

Choking the cold blankets

Kicking the empty air

Yelling at only himself

 

Sometimes he shouts your name

With eyes shut

And ears deaf

However tears still flee

And his hands stick to his ears

 

Sometimes he holds his breath

He sleeps longer when he does

Fighting his urges to breathe

Waiting for something

Whether it be your arrival

Or his demise

 

Sometimes he clenches his wrist

Holding on tighter and tighter

Where the healed scars lay

Until they go back to normal

Until they go back to bloody

He remains unaware of the stinging pain

Until his dirty nails tap his vein

 

Sometimes he wakes

In the middle of the night

Yelling how his shoulder burns

Dying for it to stop

But to the touch its cold as ice

With a hint of dust

And it’s not both shoulders

Just the one you chose

To lie your sweaty hand upon

As you poisoned his dreams

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I Walk An Endless Road

I walk endless an road

locked into a heavy load

Of these questions and fears

Gripping from it's unreasonable tears

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another day

As I wake up to the sun's harsh light

 

I try not to look back

As I attempt to fill this crack

Of this hurt and wonder

Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder

 

As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another night

As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might