Selfishness

Distance

Folder: 
To My Wife

I would say I miss you

But you no longer care

You left long before your body

And left me alone with yourself

 

I'm always thinking of you

Everyone says you aren't worth it

Maybe they're right...

But I thought you were

 

I wish we could be “us” again

But do I truly miss you

Or simply the relationship we had?

I guess I'll never know

 

You've kept me at a distance

So far I'd never reach you

Now I suppose I've finally decided

To stop trying

Struggle to Survive

I'm just trying to survive

In this world of prying eyes;

Of hateful lies and hurtful sighs.

 

This world of fear of what you lack;

Of monsters clinging to your back.

I'm just trying to survive.

 

I'm sorry if I stray away

From you and your set way.

I'm just fighting to survive.

 

So please forgive me my transgression,

My sins that lack confession,

And all this pent up aggression.

I'm just struggling to survive.

Balance

I'm drowning into nothing 

I don't know how to make it right

I just wish I had something 

to intervene my life

Because I'm tired of the hardship 

Of the struggle 

of the night

Im hurting from the failure 

and the loss of my light.

I stay strong for the babies 

But my mind is screaming in its plight 

To be more for my family 

And do everything that's right

I feel guilty when I want something just for me

A little ounce of dignity 

But my goals are far from sight

I just want to be more of myself,

of a mom, and of a wife.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just having a conflicted day.  Wanting to be with my babies and accomplish other goals.

Sunken Promises

Folder: 
Prevailing

Selfish eyes; projected

Honesty no longer your guide

Perceiving the veracity within you

Filthy laundry you cannot hide

 

Your lips; they wisp so softly

Distracted ears will never heed

A slithering snake so diluted

With only your vast ego to feed

 

Over time you were allowed

To take your amenities and wildly run

No longer will the wrecked wave on

All the dirty deeds you’ve done

 

Crossfire rains around

A frail structure that’s left to sink

No life jacket is thrown to salvage

Everything gone within a blink

Joker's Living Ways

Fuckin bullshitting games of the joker who claims to care

and be done with his past ways.

Yet the only thing he assures is that he is great at betrays,

But not so good at lying nor creating reasoning's

Of why he chose his actions towards another.

Yeah Jokers got some jokes, enjoying moments of his

Pleasures, kicking back & inviting strays back

Into the spot where we lay. Making his ultimate choice of

Allowing the exact things occur that he acknowledges

Is something I don't approve of, completely 

Showing those who aren't there 24/7

More respect than I who's been there for over two years.

But a Jokers got to joke, loving the game, 

Trying to be apart of the fame,

Of being known, with me right there angry

And upset like some sitting bum. "Opps" there goes all

The expressed expressions explained to him

During talks, yet it's the biggest controversies on

Reasons his attitude is copped.

There is no stop to think for the clowns who meticulously

Play to keep another down. Selfish Deeds 

It's how he rolls as long assomething is gained

In any way for him at that moment, it's the way he'll go....

                                                                     Marcelina Flores

                                                                    (Sept. 18th, 2014)

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Lust

 

............

"L U S T"

OOOOhhhhhh, my goodness!

 

Just the word, the very sound of "lust",

Makes the young man's pant zipper feel it will bust!

Why is lust such a forbidden thought?

And causes the fear of God--is it what they were taught?

Lust is a word that is changing in meaning,

And some at the sound of it, sets their eyes gleaming,

They associate with sex, this word we use, "lust",

And right away, they picture a vagina, a penis, or a bust,

But truth really is, many things can be thought with its' use,

A lust for knowledge or power, can also be an abuse,

Some religions say that lust is any "wanting" we have,

Or a human who has sexual intercourse with a cat or a calve,

Other religions will tell you, that unless you have sex to impregnate,

It then becomes lusting, and your worthiness, it will complicate,

"Simple fornication" is to have sex for enjoyment,

Don't tell at heaven's gate, because hell will be your deployment,

Someone said, "Sex without love is just lust",

But there are many babies born from this, who I do declare are the cutest!!

A deep desire, is lust, that controls the emotion,

So masturbation is lust, yes, even if you use holy lotion,

I am thinking that every human being on earth lusts something,

Some lust for winning, and some lust for hunting,

Another lusts for cutting, and another for food,

We all lust, we're human, we're like animals, we're crude,

To live in moderation is the best we can do,

With balance we learn what lust is, different for me, than it is for you.

So to hell with these books, because. they all say a different thing,

Lust can even be loving too much--or giving too much if it's to that which you cling,

Any thought in excess, no matter how reverent you try,

Can turn quickly to lust, in the blink of an eye,

Just live in the moment, with the eyes of a child,

Don't ever seduce your spouse, or by you, they'll be beguiled?

Don't ever have fun, because that would be lusting,

To tell you the truth, I think this is all quite disgusting,

Maybe just crawl into a hole in a neat little ball,

Cause the way the species is going, lust will be the death of us all.

You have to figure it out for yourself, just listen with an open mind,

Don't go to either extreme, and you'll be just fine.

 

6:35 PM 8/5/2013  ©

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lust

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Do you think I covered all the bases without making it something it is not? LOL What is lust to you? That is what matters, if you ask me.

Infernal Absence - August 17, 2012

Isanity screaming inside my hollow mind,

begging for forgiveness, an objective blind.

Infernal determination, fulfillment needed;

cutting and scarring my esteem so receeded.

 

Ignorance without reason, a mystery veiled;

unwanted self-treason, a memory impaled.

The black cat company, a desperate attempt

to rid of others, this external conscent.

 

Numbness quickly detracting every emotion,

followed by a perceived negative notion.

The sum of my life, instantaneous death;

my mind is taking its final breath.

 

My eyes are weeping, my lungs are bleeding,

my soul is tearing, my mind is leaving.

And breaking into nothing, a blank plane;

an inperceivabe place, a shattered brain.

 

A little blank boy, all that's left behind,

with nothing else to call his own.

In search of someone, he tries to find,

but all he's found is that he's forever alone.

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Playing the Victim

Just cut to the chase.
A simple teenage lust will never do.
I cage myself away from him,
and survive off my desire for you.

Being friends is never that simple.
A self-made barrier gone to far.
Once for protection,
Now, left only to scar.

Fell victim to my heart,
Remember?
The one you tore apart.

I'm left putting back the pieces to the image I created of you.

Maybe I'll fill my heart with saline?
For all those tears of loneliness I've cried
Finally convince my heart,
It will never be satisfied.

Testing my innocence
Playing the victim
You said you never wanted this,

I feel a sense of freedom.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Discovering a little darker side...

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Self Swallows Self

I feel my teeth divide my bones

Maybe I'm severed, probably free

And all the while bleeding

At least my vision swims

My mouth's run red and porous

But now I'm not so hungry

I can sit a sorry while

To wait for limbs to grow

When I'm bitten, all I'm tasting

Like rust to old mechanics

Who seek it to dispose of it

Like normal men with purpose

Indulgences or sicknesses

My need to swallow my and me

But stomach swells in passing seconds

My meal is never gone.