moving on

My Five Day Hallucination

It was Day 1 when it was scorching hot and we crossed paths.

I was looking for an oasis to drink from,

Though a hug from you was a thousand times better

Because afterwards, we went swimming in the lake and laughed at the gold diggers passing by.

Poor men were oblivious that they mined their last nugget in this desert.

 

It was Day 2 when we continued our journey.

You introduced me to your bitches when you brought me home.

One licked me silly while the second took a while to come around.

It was only trying to judge me to see if I would be a menace to your family.

I’ve always liked the playful, funny, and carefree breeds.

 

It was Day 3 when you showed me your larger-than-life garden.

You spoke of how your brother and mother had toiled day and night tending to it.

The garden was shaped like the number 5 and I couldn’t be happier.

You regaled me with stories of an ancient civilization that once existed in this land of the dead.

Every word from your tongue between breaths was like a missing page in a book lost in time.

 

It was Day 4 when I crawled on my knees after a beating from a two-faced sergeant

Looking for you so you could lift me back on my two feet and hold me close

But to add insult to injury, you held your scorn like you should’ve held my hands.

So I passed out on the floor and was left for dead out in the open.

How do indecisive weeds like you sleep at night?

 

It was Day 5 when I woke up expecting you’d be there, but your home was empty.

Your garden was withered and the magic was gone so it turns out that it was all a mirage.

You can rationalize your actions and demonize me any way you like,

But when you save your second thoughts for one minute before midnight,

It’s goodbye and good riddance to you weeds.

 

So I left. It was better for me to abandon you before you inevitably did the same.

The world is full of snakes and trojans as it is.

It’s best for me to give them a dose of their own venom as soon as I see right through them.

 

You should’ve told me earlier rather than at the last minute.

Or when I have fallen and can’t get up.

Then maybe we could’ve still been friends.

But now you’re just another silhouette that shears hearts like hedges.

 

If you’re looking to post an ad requesting company in a moment of loneliness,

Think again before you shatter another heart or wager your sanity.

A weed ain’t cut out for love, let alone a friendship

If it can’t make up its mind and let its loneliness fog its judgment.

Poor guy should’ve inspected the thorns before he picked the rose.

 

Now it’s my turn to wager a few things,

I bet you don’t even miss me.

I bet you feigned regret that you added salt in the wound.

I bet that you’ll forget all about me after the weekend I disappeared.

I bet you’ll cower in the arms of the two bitches you value most in life.

I bet you’ll start looking for another soul that you’ll pray to Aphrodite you won’t screw over.

Whatever happens to you, I am grateful that I have kin to keep tight

And an adventure I continue to embark on in the desert with or without you there for me.

You’re just another silhouette that shears hearts like hedges.

GETTING OVER YOU

 

I noticed that I'm different,  then I was before

I no longer look to see, if it's you, coming through the door! 

I realized that I don't check my phone, hoping that you called. 

I don't even check my text,  to see if you texted at all. 

I'm sorry to have to tell you this,  but I thought you should know. 

When a person isn't there, our feelings start to go. 

maybe that's why  your avoiding me, to clear me from your mind...

but if you look deep inside,  your heart, it's me you'll find.

as for me,  I must say,  it hurts more then I thought

when nothings said,  no-reason why, not one explaintion have I got! 

So I live my life each day,  without you ever here. 

the rose colored glasses that I  wear,  are becoming  really clear. 

Now I realize that Im slowly, getting over you

It feels strange not having you here, but that's just what you do. 

I have no Tears to cry,  they dryed long ago

I have no words to beg...  I'll simply let you go!  

I'll never understand, what was so hard to do? 

I found it very easy, to love only you. 

but we made our choices,  or they were made for us.

now we must live with them, and move on as we must!  

So I'll simply say I'm sorry,  for not being the one you need. 

I could have been,  if you'd have let me in, instead you made me bleed.

So this is me without you,  cold and does not care... 

I'm at the point of not giving a shit,  if your ever there. 

So this is how it feels... getting over you? 

I have less stress,  I spend much less,  and I can find somebody new...!!!

 

Paul (ChryWizard)  Posney ©02/15/2018

bar lights in oz

i looked behind the curtain,

not out of curiosity mind you

in an effort to save myself.

 

subliminally i knew you were the reason i couldn’t heal

 

so my journey was to reveal you.    the real you.   all the years

i naively chose to believe your lies.   what you wanted me to believe.

 

through no conscious act of my own

its funny how my intuition led me back to you

 

i crashed right into our toxic ways

 

only when you destroyed me one last time

laid bare in the hollow of my self esteem

only then could i see clearly

 

so i bid you adieu with words that once filled me with dread

 

now i ride like a phoenix

 

 

ITS GONE

Author's Notes/Comments: 

sometimes first loves are the hardest to get over.  the hardest to make sense of.   but that also teach us the most about ourselves.   im thankful, for knowledge, clarity, peace, and unanswered prayers.

T.R.O.Y. (The Ruins Of You)

Folder: 
Confessions

I stand in the ruins of you
carrying the casket
of the memories of us
Once, 
a cradle of holy affection and love.
Here lie the shattered 8 months
of unison prayers, 
jeepney banters,
subtle, orgasmic whispers,
the euphoria of meeting your mother,
and the dreams we built 
on midnight kisses and sacred moans.

The pen you gave me
still holds
its allegiance to you
refusing to spill its ink
thriving on its own will
I grapple it by its neck
and watch it slowly faint.

Lonely hearts from the start,
we relished the thought of a lasting love.
Two candles burn
when two lovers pray.
On our very first date,
I cursed on how you made me wait.
On our very last day,
I prayed that He would make you stay.
People say first impressions last
But you had me only at second glance.

Sober fools in a clandestine night
we laughed and walked for hours and miles
You, holding my bag
Me, holding your hand.
This was before his ghost haunted you
again
alive and well.
This was before in between hours,
you’d forget my whispers
and long for his.
This was before your friend 
called me to say,
“Just let him go. Love is not supposed
to work this way.”

The dark clouds came
and never left.

I stand in the ruins of you,
claws clutching to the ground,
eyes beaten and tired,
feet still shackled 
with the ropes you gave me last June
and every inch of them is an untold story
and each story is a blow to my head.
Love is but a slowly unfolding agony.
Knot
after
knot,
I untangle these shackles I tied myself to.
Knot
after
knot,
I begin to remember 
the life I built around you and me,
the dreamy kisses,
the day I met your friends and family,
the night I got so drunk
you had to forget our fight
to come and get me,
the night you got so drunk
you had to forget our fight
to say you still love me.
But the high wasn’t worth the agony
of knowing that at my lowest point,
confined in a hospital,
covered with punctures,
you successfully abandoned me;
of carrying a bleeding heart every day
and hoping it won't leak;
of feeling the sands of time slip
away from your grasp,
along with all your hope and chance;
of finally choosing to live through hell
hoping that your lover would remember
the warmth of an earthly heaven
you built for yourselves and once lived in.
of knowing that the memory of us
would later turn to dust
and I am to collect them
with bare hands.
Knot
after
knot,
The walls of this temple begin to shatter
I am no longer your prisoner.
I stand in the ruins of you,
claws clutching
on crumpled bed sheets,
rubbles of your promises,
residues of your gifts,
pictures torn to pieces, 
my handwritten notes
a hundred poems, 
a thousand letters
and the ashes of our bodies.
I spread my wings 
and begin to rise
and look up for the clouds
The dark clouds that came
never left.
But I am.
•••

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about moving on.

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Sound Waves (day 91)

Only you have ever said my name

the same way I hear it in my head.

 

You chant and murmur until

I’m a statue stuck on the wrong pedestal

 

I’m longing for whispers

I only heard from you once

but they’re just what I thought I needed

 

I’d rather hear new music

than this song as old as time

I don’t want to hear what I’ve expected anymore

I want to bend to a brand new sound

because after all the lights went out

I felt your hand on my shoulder

saying the same words.

 

But maybe I don’t want to keep

sighing at sound waves like they’re sunrises.

 

I’m so soft here I can’t be broken…

I can no longer hear you saying my name

the same way I hear it in my head.

Good riddance.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 10/25/16

Good riddance

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio
tags:

Moving on, Falling back

 

You do all you can,
You forget the past.
A familiar song plays,
Pulls you from first to last.

 

You move on,
You find a new joy.
You fall back into it,
Like an overused toy.

 

At last it is over,
You know this time for sure.
Breaking at the seams,
One last time for a love so pure?

 

It is the endless cycle we face,
And can never leave.
We try again and again,
Because we always believe.

 

View kjg12's Full Portfolio

But Hope is Strong

Folder: 
The Light

There's always going to be a river flowing downstream

When you want to go upward

There's always going to be a light in the sky


But you can always walk the dry land,

Moving on your feet, you can push a little harder

Why won't you just keep your burdens light?


Where there is a will, there is a way

At least that's what wise men always say

So why should we leave ourselves to drown?


There is hope for you, for me,

For the wicked too

When you're already on the bottom,

What do you have to lose?

We may be small,

Oh, but hope is so strong

When you make up your mind to push on


Where there is a will, there is a way 

At least that's what wise men always say

So why should we leave ourselves to drown?


There's always going to be a mountain standing in your way,

But baby you can go around it

There's always going to be a light in the night


There is hope for you, for me,

For the wicked too

When you're already on the bottom,

What do you have to lose?

We may be small,

Oh, but hope is so strong

When you make up your mind to push on

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I've been feeling inspired again. This is the first song I've written in years, and it's good to be back at it again. 

 

Peace and love,

 

Kait

Packing Day

The air is dry and easy,

Not the kind of cold that scares me back into my dorm,

Finally, we've had a week where the sun is feeling sociable,

It twinkles off of paintjobs and our tall glass windows,

I'm packing my things to stay with a friend this Thanksgiving,

Each belonging I pack feels a bit heavier than the first,

There's a suspicious feeling in my stomach that says,

"Life is hectic, but you're going to be okay.. one day"

I've accepted that this isn't my time to celebrate,

I'm not in the prime of my life,

It's my time to rebuild,

Let these bruises recover,

As I stuff the laundry I forgot to wash into my luggage,

I think about all the horrible things I'll get myself into,

All the nights on my own,

All the bills left unpaid,

"Stupid boy" I hear my sister echo in my mind,

I wonder how she must think of me,

What everyone must think of me,

All of this insanity has made it impossible to keep track of myself,

Right and wrong have become so relative,

My world becoming blurred,

But I will figure this out,

This life will be difficult,

But nothing worth doing is easy,

Besides,

I'm 20 years old,

So what if I make a few mistakes?

How else will I learn who I am?

How else does one write a poem?

 

I have had the urge to grab people,

shake them,

and say,

"You idiot!"(for some this is all I say)

"Just be who you are. Even if you are broken and worthless. Even if you'll never fit in this society, it doesn't matter, start your own! Just be yourself and love it because no one can take that away but you."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is poem #50! Thank you to everyone who has been a reader of my work! I know the last few lines in this one are a bit incoherrent but I just felt that I shouldn't take this poems too seriously and I just said what I wanted to say.

View mypersonalpoems777's Full Portfolio

Move On

The actual drug to my heart,

Side effects are depressing.

No one will know.

No one should know.

 

I’m alright, I’ll always be okay.

Thank you for all the laughs

And tears.

This was a huge surprise,

You are my accidental love.

Accidents happen, accept it.

 

Move on.

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