Hopelessness

What Am I To Make (Of Who I Am?)

What am I to make of who I am?
I can't blame tomorrow for yesterday
Here I am, already fingering blame
Convicting something that has yet to happen

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

What am I to make of who I am?
If I can only become this man
Here I am, all ready to ruin the day
Guaranteeing agar agar for Misery to breed

 

In rage,
I've kidnapped the charms of life
Blindly,
Somehow, I've ended up
With a knife in my hand
The knife to it's neck
Tomorrow's pleading eyes
Snapping me out of it
I was about to kill a kid
Because he could become a Hitler

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

I'm sorry, Tomorrow
Forgive me, today
I should have forgiven you
Yesterday

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Looking down a road to bypass..

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take my hand

Take my Hand

By JFarrell

 

Take my hand,

And I’ll help you as far as I can;

I can’t carry you,

But, maybe,

If you walk in my footprints,

It will ease your journey.

 

Yes,

It does look like a long journey,

But you are not alone;

Here,

Take my arm,

Take the support you need.

 

I know,

You look around

And see no-one.

I know,

You feel so alone.

But I am here

Here to help you.

 

Take my hand,

I will catch you if you fall;

I will right you if you stumble;

I will be beside you, always;

So,

Take my hand.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

alone is a lonely place

A Little More Till No More

Folder: 
Fire

A little more

 

To fill the pit

 

All dark

 

Lately bottomless

 

With each day

 

It widens

 

It deepens

 

Not sure how a bottomless pit looses bottom but this one does

 

A little more

 

To fill the pit

 

That little more

 

Sets it to Widen

 

To deepen

 

Pitched soul

 

Empty bottomless pit

View tsenumaic's Full Portfolio

The Void

Into the howling dark I go.

Following a broken and lonesome road.

As I travelled on

I reached a ledge.

Down I look, only to see

the Void.

 

The Void was limitless.

Without a beginning or an end.

It called out to me

In the strangest of ways.

I edge closer

to get a better look.

And what did I see?

An image of all my shattered memories

and broken dreams.

 

The Void called out yet again.

And my mind starts to spin 

as the torrent of despair starts coming in.

Slowly at first

But intensifying in it's speed.

The waves of hopelessness 

closing in, crushing me.

 

I try and turn back the way I came.

Just to find that the road has disappeared.

Disbelief and shock are what I first felt.

Then slowly, I realized that all along I've been here.

 

No going back now.

So I do only what's left.

I step into the Void.

Falling beneath it's calm surface.

Never to return again.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written when I was going through a hard fought battle with depression. The Void was my depression and it seemed for so long there was no escape from it, that in fact it was so powerful. That I should embrace it. 

View jauman117's Full Portfolio

Desperate

Folder: 
2016

Drowning in empty rooms

pulling at nonexistent

strings hanging from my clothes

 

Ripples in the sea of calmness

around me, even

when everyone’s sleeping

 

Desperate,

I sneak out to meet the madman,

pick the slivers from the sky

and gift them in a basket to him

 

I shouldn’t have been hopeful

Grinning, he pours nothingness

right into my hands.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/10/16

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

Quiet

I tried to scribble my confessions on a piece of loose leaf

Last night

But I couldn't help to feel its insignificance

It's muted nature

My soul barking into a muzzle

Like a dog in a kennel

About to be put down

Shocking how quiet our lives

Can be

Churning with silent force like a windmill

But no one ever sees the electricity in our struggle

I thought about calling you but that felt

Just the same

I put the book down and excused myself

For another cigarette

I saw flashes of darker days

Hollow gazing into that thunderous bay

All of their compliments became lies once again

Her playful glances become intrusive advances

Im paralyzed in a dream

Locked in insanity

Goodnight, Goodbye

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

You said goodnight to me,

I said goodbye to you.

You didn't think twice

didn't think it was strange.

But tomorrow you'll see

what my goodbye means.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think.

 

I wrote this and it has a picture with it that I can't show here... but the picture is of a noose I drew.

 

 

Burderned

Spent most of my life, trapped in the dark

Chasing some sort of light, mindset so stark

I go deep into the darkness, all consumed

But somehow I emerge, hope renewed

It happens every time, like it's a game

Every day wondering, is this my last play

Focused mindset, clouded by negativity

Hoping, praying, for a moment of serendipity

This light that I'm chasing, it seems to fade

The edges of my sanity, they seem so frayed..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I don't remember writing this. I was looking through a notepad I sometimes write in, saw this and thought I'd upload it. This is the first poem I've uploaded. The art of English is not a great subject for me. All comments welcome, negative and positive.

Who Am I?

I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone

I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead




Author's Notes/Comments: 

An old class assignment I digged up.

It was supposed to be more simple and straightforward.

But I remember, I couldn't help myself from twisting it up

 

Which results with this