determined

You Don't Know Me (Reprise)

I’ve proven people wrong before.

You are hardly an exception.

 

You said I should be single for a long time.

Venting to my friends who were right about you was the real medicine.

And plenty of boys say I’m a catch before they get to know who I am.

 

You said I need to grow up.

But you’re unemployed and you bash a girl that was slandered by her best friend.

I love being told what a snotty person I am both at work and when I’m with you.

 

You said I’m self-absorbed and immature.

I saved an artist you cruelly envied on his birthday from a debt that was killing him slow.

It was the best 30 pounds I ever spent this week because it was out of selfless love.

 

You said you deserve so much better than me.

You tried to gaslight me into thinking that no living soul is good enough for me.

You took the easy way out instead of bearing with me a little longer.

 

You said I don’t understand how relationships work.

That’s all you’re right about because what one person doesn’t find sexy might attract another.

So neither do you.

 

You said a piece of you will always love me.

You were just kidding yourself when you said that.

Some therapist you’re turning out to be, dearest.

 

It felt hazy that I pondered for days or even weeks

On how I was going to repay you for your compassion and charity.

You don’t deserve to know what I had planned for you.

 

If you somehow worm your way back into my life,

I won’t be crying my eyes out like the time when a bastard was unfaithful to you.

Instead, I will stand my ground like a rock and kick you in the crotch.

 

You had one opportunity to take things slow so we could get along.

But you’re not getting a second chance because I don’t trust you.

Does this explain why you claim I don’t love you?

 

Fast-forward to last week to the part where I started anew with another dude.

He’s a scary one that could do more damage to you than me.

He loves me for everything you hate about me.

He’s the kind of boy whose easy to set aside time for

While I hit the books and explore the world because he’s along for the ride.

 

I couldn’t be more attracted to him every time he touches me to say, “You’re mine.”

It’s not because he desires to put me on a leash and lock me up.

It’s because he understands where I’m coming from and he too thinks “give and take” is crap.

Yet, he loves me like the Holy Grail because he tells me that I’m the best part of every day to him.

 

Relationships are like snowflakes.

No two function the same way because people are complex creatures with different standards.

Yours certainly were a mystery and to this day, I wondered how it all went wrong.

Our final days were a thin line between love and hate.

I already know which direction you went.

That’s one thing you and the monsters in my nightmares have in common.

The Prince of Darkness Faces His Executioner

Are you ready for it?

I shouldn’t have to ask you that question after all that you have done.

It would’ve been rude of me not to give you a heads-up like this.

Your reign of terror is steps closer to its endgame.

If I do not draw my sword and face the ghosts of my past, checkmate is guaranteed.


I did something bad long ago, but can you blame me?

I’m just a human being that made a mistake because I was not in the right mind.

Anguish and love do not mix because both made my life worse before.

If you respect that my situation is delicate, why do you keep poking the hornet nest?

If you crack it open and the wasps sting you so much their poison burns,

don’t be surprised if I say, “Look what you made me do.”

Your empathy is lacking so why should I care if you are put to rest the next day?

Princes don’t negotiate with paupers like me.

So it goes because fame and violence are always placed above justice and peace.


Isn’t it gorgeous to be the one in control? To run a country or a sect without a care in the world?

Doesn’t it feel amazing when your subjects obey you unconditionally as if you are an almighty god?

These questions reveal to me that aristocrats and celebrities use their authority

for insolence and seduction. No wonder we can’t have nice things.

You are not entitled to my throne even though a liar was the king of my heart before.

What was “yes” today could be “no” tomorrow so I keep fewer promises.

I’ve heard enough empty platitudes from your devotees to realize that an oath is not to be made lightly.


Anything else you want to preach about before I take the getaway car to escape additional agony?

Go ahead and dress your possessive wiles by telling me you love me

And shower me with material goods to let my guard down against my better judgment.

But when you try to use your tenderness as leverage, it is all the more reason for me to leave.

The longer I stay here, the more certain it is that my life is in danger.

My hands are tied keeping the darkness around me at bay for as long as I can.

Fortune is never on my side when I dance, but my sword will always be my partner.

Call it what you want, but the battlefield is my ballroom.

If dancing alone is the only way I can retain my individuality, so be it.


Happy Raʼs as-Sanah al-Hijrīyah, Vlad Dracula.

I’ll see you in Hell.

Curiosity

Folder: 
January 2019

Curiosity, what was it again that made her aimlessly steer off the steady beaten and path?

In the sense of going off into a strange place that she'd never been to be for, was it just sheer curiosity that made her  wander off, or was it just out of her sense of adventure that made her go to the places she'd never been to just to see if there was new things to explore and investigate, and learn? She always wanted to find the unique not the common. The unique things were they meant to be learned or found if so, were they meant for her to seek out and find? She has a heart of gold and as thick as steel...so no harm would be brought to her as she curiously and slowly at first began a to learn, seek, and find what was awaiting her in the adventures to come.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Prose

D.A.

 

 

i am the scarecrow,

because i hold the scare,

i can be your fantasy

turned into nightmare,

i've been serrated and shattered,

my eyeballs are clocks,

they threw my brains in a trashcan,

and so i've stolen your thoughts,

my torso's in a lake somewhere

and my arms lit on fire,

oh, i don't want to be the scarecrow

but truth is, i'm just a liar,

i could run to you slow motion,

and walk along the ocean,

but poor me i'm deranged,

i could think i'd be winkin'

if my armpits weren't stinkin'

oh, i wish i had a brain!

 

wouldn't have to play the advocate

of these devils so dam* adamant 

if i only hadda brain!!! 

 

 

8:00 AM 7/9/2013  ©

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs.............

.......

 

..............

Blood Stained Wings

Trapped within a
Nightmare
That started as a
Pleasant dream
I rattle the bars of my cage,
Hoping for release.

When did my happy home,
Turn into such a painful place?
When did this so-called love,
Turn into firey Hate?

So now I wait,
To awake from my restless
sleep, and hope for a
Better tomorrow,
And fight for a chance
To
Be
Me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comments/Thoughts appreciated.

Rain

Gettin’ cloudy out here, rain’s a comin’.
Sleetin’ through the air, rivulets runnnin’.
Keep searchin’, through the damp and clammy day
For somethin’ I just can’t explain.
As I’m treadin’ across this land so dark,
Illuminatin’ my way with my flashlight’s spark,
I know I won’t find what I seek
Even after a lifetime and a week.

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