dragons

Camping By jfarrell

Camping

By jfarrell

 

“Toast. A nice golden brown colour, please.”

A blue jet of flame incinerates my bread on it’s skewer.

I brush away my singed eyebrows

And look at Karla.

“Can we try that again please, without the cremation?”

 

Karla bathes the second slice

Within a warm orange flame.

“Perfect!”

I run over, hug Karla

And give her a big kiss on the cheek.

 

Karla burps in embarrassment

And a blue jet of flame incinerates my tent.

“Hmmmm… Okay, maybe we won’t go camping this easter…

“How about finding some bridges….

“to redesign in your unique fashion.”

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

james stewart never had to put up with his rabbit burning everything, hehe

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Joyride to madness

Joyride to madness

By jfarrell

 

You’re tired, you know you wanna go to bed;

Do you really wanna open another can now?

Yep!!!! don’t mind if I do.

Hic!

 

I was fading, almost gone,

But, like Popeye, I crush that can, glug, glug, glug;

See that shirt rip…. see them biceps grow.

Hic!!!

 

Hang about…. it’s about now….

5.

….4…3…..2……

Dragon arrives right on time, better than Uber.

Hic!!!

 

Racing through a burning forest,

Sorry, my bad, my dragon set it a ablaze…

She sneezed, so sorry my bad.

Hic!!!!

 

Racing through a completely burnt forest….

Mist, smoke, nothing but smell of burning everywhere;

Again, I apologize, my bad, Karla got flu…

 

YEAH!!! YEAH!!! ALRIGHT!!! STOP THERE!!!!!

How the hell can an invisible dragon (who, technically, doesn’t exist)

Get flu????????????

Hic!!!!

 

Do I look like a vet to you?

I’m an idiot,

How I know if dragons get flu?

Hic!!!

 

But, my invisible (non-existant) dragon has flu….

Bugger…. she sneezed and the Aylesbury Estate nothing

But ashes.

Hic!!!

 

I sit in the smouldering remains of my home,

Cataloguing my loss;

Karla, redfaced and offering me a can of beer, snuggles beside me.

Hic!!!!

 

You’re tired, you know you wanna go to bed;

Do you really wanna open another can now?

Yep!!!! don’t mind if I do.

Hic!!!

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

drunks and the habit

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Black Earth

 Dragons torch whole

cities to the ground

 

Their fire spreads from

east to west,

north to south,

 

Brave knights try to stall

the beasts but are disintegrated

to ashes in the fray

 

The king of this periled state

like a coward flees in his country's dire time of need

 

All dominoes fall, as a result,  one by one,

piece by piece,

 

And The slate is wiped clean.

And the earth turns to black. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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With no particular place to go

With no particular place to go

By jfarrell

 

(inspired by a chuck berry classic)

 

Riding along in my automobile;

Karla, my dragon, beside me at the wheel;

A bump, a burp; she blew up my car;

I hope we’re not walking far;

Grumbling and playing my radio,

With no particular place to go.

 

Walking along without a car;

My anger’s running far;

Karla grabs me, makes me dance;

I wanna kill her, want that chance;

Scowling “Let me go!”

With no particular place to go.

 

No particular place to go….

We’re walking home in the cold;

The moon was bright and low

And Karla looked bathed in gold;

Can you imagine how I felt?

Bright and red like a welt.

 

Walking along, about to blow a fuse;

My invisible dragon, she’s not much use;

Arsonist baby girl

Giggling as she burns the world;

Cuddling and playing my radio;

With no particular place to go.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

my invisible dragon's not completely useless - she makes great toast and bacon ;-)

Vending machine

Vending machine

By jfarrell

 

Sigh…..

Coffee break, at the office, again….

Vending machine…..

Surprise me…

 

Tea- 102; twix- 103; chocolate - 1057…..

Coffee… NONONONO…. no coffee here….

“you pressed 1954… enjoy your purchase and have a nice day ;-)”

I pressed what? I wanted coffee!!!! strong, no milk!

 

As the machine whirrs into unseen life…

Karla breathes a grade 5 fire up my backside…

Wot! WOT! I’, m here!

Just glad no-one about to see me put my back side out!

 

I look up at Karla…  long way up….

You’d think at 15 feet tall she’d stand out…

But, no, only I can see her…

Giant invisible rabbits are nice…

 

But rainbow transparent dragons (    ;-)     )

Karla? Why was that necessary? I’m at work.

NO!!!!

 

 

 

Your in the laundrette….

Dancing in your underwear again…

 

I look about me.. and…

 

 

Shit, sorrry, sorry, ..

Errrr….   washing day, you know how it is…

…whistles….anything…. even very bad version of sittin’ (on the dock of the bay)…so lost without my dragon…

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

loved that old james stewart classic - 'Harvey' - i following in his footsteps and gonna have an invisible dragon follow me around everywhere

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Where is your mind at?

Where is your mind at?

By jfarrell

 

Rolled up my trouser leg… been hurting lots…

To see a golf ball-sized swelling on my shin….

You think you’d have noticed…

Swelling that big, when you hit it,

It must have hurt.

 

And I haven’t got a clue…

Duracell Donkey…

Working 12-16 hour days;

Midnight finishes; 4 am starts;

Not enough sleep.

 

I walked out of work today…

“You don’t wanna pay me? I don’t wanna work. Bye.”

And I feel really, REALLY proud of that..

Maybe I can still be a “man” someday…

WHERE IS MY MIND?

 

Lost a days wages…. but… more importantly….

WTF did I do to my leg????????

I ain’t kidding.. killing me for days, but looked fine;

Hurts to walk, but I gotta work….

Looked to day… WTF??? golf ball??

 

My journey to work today, on the tube….

Well… “on the tube”….

Plugged into music….

Fighting space battles on the edge of the galaxy….

Starting revolutions ….

Giving in to the inevitable, pushing the button…

I, President of the….. start WWW3…

Welcome to the party ;-)

….…

 

Soundtrack

Queen - ‘flash’

You know the guitar riff… them lyrics, the beatles, need I say more?…

Men at Work - “It’s a mistake”….

….…

Mixed in with some ‘hey, joe’, nine inch nails, dire straits…

John lee hooker, robert johnson…eric clapton….

…. and….

Eminem keeps wanting to join the party…

And I am VERY tempted ;-)

But…

Being a depressive…

Trying to stay ‘positive’ and ‘upbeat’…

I skip him and a few great songwriters and guitarists right now….

 

Jim…

Where TF are you????? knock knock…. reality shouting really LOUD!!!!

WHERE IS YOUR MIND??????

HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR F****…. LEG????

To hurt it like that… and not notice…

 

WHERE IS YOUR MIND AT????

 

We’ve all been there.

Right?

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i bashed my leg against a lot of things this week.... i'm a drunk, i'm clumsy and being doing it for feking ages.....

but... seriously....

you'd think... to have that big aa swelling....  it would have hurt when you done it

and you'd rememeber it

Voices

Voices

By jfarrell

 

 

My first can of beer, or glass of wine,

Speaks to me;

She cries of how lonely she is, “Please don’t leave me all alone,”

And who could refuse such a damsel in distress;

So, with all the dignity of a Knight, preparing for battle,

I bravely open another.

:-)

 

The second can sings to me a sad song,

Full of failures and weaknesses, my failures and weaknesses,

And like George before the dragon I am driven to my knees.

I thrust, I parry, but this dragon is too much.

Then I hear my Siren; she sings to me from the third can,

The Popeye theme tune

:-)

 

And I know what I must do!

Like a can of spinach, I crush the can and catch the geyser;

With each caress of the beer, my clothes rip,

As my muscles grow

And Sir Drunkalot is to the rescue.

:-)

 

The answers may not be at the bottom of the glass….

But I have a hell of a lotta fun checking;

And I love my Sirens, their singing is so beautiful;

Drown, I will, willingly, again and again,

To chase my Sirens to the bottom of the glass.

:-)

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

;-)

you all hear the voices too, don;t ya? :)

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Awaken, my dear

Awaken, my dear

By jfarrell

 

1

 

I must have moaned or cried out in my sleep. One moment I was being beaten up at school again, the next I’m awake in a pool of flames.

 

Abruptly followed by Karla’s foul breath trying to put them out. “So sorry, so sorry Master, I honestly thought you were being attacked.” She grinned at me slyly with a twinkle in her eye.

 

I gave myself time to take a few deep breaths, pat out my t-shirt and eyebrows. I followed a few strands of smoke rise above me, taking much of my t-shirt with them.

 

 

 

 

 

….. I sat down to write my world number 1 bestselling novel (even Stephen King likes it :) ). and got interruption after interruption after inter….

 

You get my drift.

 

As a start, what do you think, please?

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Karla's my dragon - I'm kinda thinking James Stewart's 'Harvey' the invisible rabbit and I'd love to make it Terry Pratchett/ Tom Sharp funny :)

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dragon's claw

Dragon’s Claw

By JFarrell

 

(inspired by Robin Hobb’s “Farseer Trilogy”)

 

As they found Prince Verity,

So you find me;

Dishevelled, exhausted,

But I can’t stop.

 

So,

Covered in weeks old dust,

I take up my mallet and chisel,

And return to my stone,

My half formed dragon…

Years,

I have been here,

Chipping away,

Scraping,

Smoothing..

 

Come closer,

Look…

A single, hooked,

Curved talon;

Thrice times as long,

As I am tall.

The edges are chipped, uneven,

My dragon,

Who I shall name Malleable,

Lives in the mountains;

The talons are chipped,

From the mountain debris, crushed,

As she lands on a ledge,

And just looks out,

At everything.

Forever.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i love dragons

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