How Bad Is It To Learn How To Love?
When was the last time that
you have loved and lost,
and truly learn
its real, real cost?
(Utter feelings we kept the most.)
Is there a kind of an exit plan in
this lonesome strife,
something that we'd
cherish through life?
Let, therefore, our choices be
the wisest,
Hoping to see us live it through
the longest
We tend to love the ones we
have loved more (and more),
more so, that we sometimes
have lost control, until no more.
(Utter feelings we kept the most.)
This shit hurts
I can’t do it again
On paper you look perfect
So I thought we could be friends
The kind that never lie
And reveal our darkest fears
Who have each other’s back
And wipe away the tears
The kind that builds and grows
Until it turns to love
Then we sit back and know
It was sent from up above
But instead I sit and wait
Because you’ve gone away
I never know the fate
Of every passing day
It drives me fucking crazy
How am I not on your mind!?
I think about you daily
& and not just because you’re fine
It’s because of how you smile
And how Jesus is your world
It’s Because of how you talk
about your beautiful little girl
I know these things take time,
And id like space to explore
Whatever’s on your mind
To understand you more
I know this is crazy
Because we’ve barely just said hi
But before I fall too deep alone
I’d rather just say goodby
-Zomi July 2019
You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.
You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.
Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.
Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.
It should’ve been the other way around.
In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,
It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.
I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.
Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.
That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.
I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.
I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.
I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.
You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.
You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.
You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.
You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.
You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.
All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.
You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.
How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I could let you know when you get it to turn on.
But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?
Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.
You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”
It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.
Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.
Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?
If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.
The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.
You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.
But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,
I realize that I am never alone.
They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.
One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.
What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.
There is silence in the world
Since we didn't said farewell;
And your beauty with an alien speech
An alien tale would tell.
There is silence in the world,
Which is not peace nor quiet;
Nyarlathotep; a golden heart
Ever I seek to flee therefrom,
While I belong with Thee,
And walk the ways of the riot.
But when I hear the music moan
In rooms of thronging laughter,
A serpent-tongued demon drives me forth,
And silence follows after.
Sweet Nyarlathotep, when our love is never done;
appearing to me when I did call.
Please tell me you never be gone,
don’t break my heart at all...
These fearful nightmares,
the road to terror and beyond.
Loving your most precious words,
that made us twain, that made us One.
I want to be in your arms forever,
Resting my head on your lovely chest
I want to be a baby again
In your warm cuddle and embrace
“Something Like Alvaro”
Jay and Courtney were the coolest and happiest couple in the whole town, everyone wanted to be just like them. They had been going out since Courtney was in middle school and didn’t plan on breaking up at any moment. Courtney, the captain of the cheerleader squad, who was 18, walked every morning with her cheerleader outfit through the hallways of Saint Joseph’s Academy as all the guys sweat and look at her from head to toe, “What a goodie” they all said. Jay, on the other hand, was this “bad” and “rough” guy, who wore leather jackets and rode a matte black Yamaha R6, he was 24 and had already graduated from college. Well everything was perfect from everyone’s point of view, except by the fact that Jay was the most jealous person there was. Courtney was the prettiest of them all and wasn’t allowed, by Jay’s commands, to talk to boys, though of course she did, she was tired of it.
It was already spring break, Courtney’s SENIOR spring break, and she planned on visiting her friend Lucia, who lived in Madrid, together with her sister Cecile. The Connor sisters were so excited, though Jay wasn’t, he was sure something bad would happen, he was mad, FURIOUS, he didn’t like what was going on. Well, he was going to go with his whole family to LA beach so that should do for the moment. Jay left for vacations before the Connor sisters did, so they went to the airport by taxi. As they climbed the stairs to the plane, they drank their Starbuck’s coffee happily and sang to The Killer’s “Mr. Brightside”. Courtney had met Lucia in a summer camp 5 years ago and hadn’t seen her since. Her excitement filled her with such grace, she just couldn’t keep herself from smiling the whole time. As they arrived to Madrid’s airport after a LONG airplane ride, there she was, Lucia standing with a sign that said “Connor Sisters”. Courtney and Cecile ran to Lucia and hugged her, they were so glad to see her. “Hola niñas vengan! Hay muchas cosas que hacer, apúrense!”. Lucia lived alone in Madrid, her parents had died three years ago in a car crash and she was old enough to rent an apartment with her inheritance. She, of course, had a boyfriend named Jose Luis, who was driving a baby blue Beatle, waiting at the airport doors for the girls to climb in.
That first day they had planned on riding horses. As soon as Courtney had signal she called Jay, of course, to tell him how the airplane ride was and how she was so happy to see Lucia.
“What are your plans for today”, said Jay.
“We are going to ride horses baby!”, Courtney said.
“Are there going to be any boys around?”, Jay said.
“I really don’t know baby, but that doesn’t matter does it? You should trust me”, Courtney said.
“You know I do Courtney, but boys are boys! Don’t you dare talk to one. Just don’t!”, Jay said.
“Well okay. You wish”, Courtney said and suddenly hung up.
So they arrived, this beautiful green fields full of grass and all sorts of animals. There they were, all of Jose Luis’s friends. And there he was, Alvaro. Courtney had met Alvaro the day she turned 18, well not actually met him, but talked to him by face time when Courtney had called her to wish her a happy birthday. They both were born on the same day and the moment Alvaro saw Courtney he knew he NEEDED to meet her though Lucia had warned her about Jay. Of course, Courtney knew about what Alvaro had said and so was really nervous. She was going to evade him, run from him, keep away from talking to him….. “Hey there!”, Alvaro said. Courtney felt her whole body shiver, her legs paralyzed. “Hey”, Courtney answered shyly. “Let’s ride. Everyone choose your horses. Courtney and Cecile, since you have never ridden before you need to go with someone”. “I’ll go with Lucia!”, Cecile said. Cecile had a boyfriend as well and really didn’t want to mess things up. Courtney was looking for someone to go with and they had all already left, except Alvaro. She knew everything was planned by all of them…. How dare they plan.. “Climb up”, said Alvaro. So Courtney had no way out. As she hopped on and wrapped her arms around him she knew Jay wouldn’t be near to…
I'm sorry you decided to stop loving me
I'm lost and alone, without your company.
I miss seeing your face, and the smile you wear
I miss saying I love you, because your not there.
You've chose to act, as If I were dead
I just can't get you, out of my head.
I flash back on things, you and I have done...
Remember our road trips? Boy they were fun!
I remember too how I'd feel after we kiss...
That momentary rush... Then that feeling of bliss.
I miss laying beside you, in bed, after dark.
You'd listen to me, as I talked and talked ..
I miss seeing the way, you'd look at me
I miss the feeling of love, others could see.
I hope where ever you are, you're happy and well
As for me, I'm living next door to hell.
Do you miss me, am I even a thought?
Am I just a bad memory, you wish you'd forgot?
What happened to us, where did it go wrong?
When did our love, become a sad country song?
The thing I miss most, about you and I
and this is the truth, I've no reason to lie.
What I miss most, since we came to an end...
Is... I miss you... Being my best friend!
I could tell you my secrets, and yes too my fears.
And you would tell me yours, even if they brought tears.
What happen to us, we're we not worth the time?
Why didn't we see, we're we both blind"
Was it something I did, was it something I said
Why couldn't you tell me what was going on in your head?
Gawd how I miss you, every second of each day
Why couldn't I figure out, a way for you to stay?
I hope you think about me, and smile when you do..
Because then you'll remember, that I'm in love with you!!!
Paul (ChryWizard) Posney ©02/012/2018
i'm quite a simple girl
i only need one thing
with three little letters
y o u
with a smile so much brighter
than all the stars in the sky
you light up my life in the darkest times
all i need is you
y o u
with your godly hands
strong but soft; could destroy a city
or caress my face with the lightest touch
so gentle, yet so powerful
y o u
every single perfect imperfection
more breathtaking than a summer sunrsie
i adore your complexity
i adore you