smile

Nothing but a Fable

Happily ever after doesn’t exist.

Not when people like you also exist.

I bought myself a new suit of armor so you don’t drive another knife in my back.

I told the vendor to hold the stallion because human legs were never for aesthetic purposes.

 

I wanted to walk the face of the Earth with you using my own.

We would’ve walked more than a thousand miles together to chase the sun and avoid the night.

And I never needed to worry about my tired legs.

They built up a tolerance from walking in the coastal sand and helping me keep up with dirty dishes.

 

I told you about my demons and how quickly I am to care when I’m shown an act of kindness.

Mother always lectured me that no matter how small they may be, they are never in vain.

But there is such a thing as being too kind. There is such a thing as temptation.

The best of us cave in once, twice, or maybe more than that when we write in our diaries.

 

You were like such a book to me and I trusted you, but never did I expect that you’d defile my soul

By persuading me to partake in activities that I would never in my right mind do.

I should have recalled the fable of a girl who trusted a poltergeist that haunted a similar diary.

Had I not flee the moment I saw your true character, I would have joined her in death.

 

Looking back, I understand that diaries are the keys to starting fires and turning innocents into fugitives.

You can try with all your might to pry my mouth open to get me to spill any more beans

But my lips are staying sealed because I know who you really are and I finally learned my lesson.

You never exposed me. You only leaked a chapter that was part of a book you never read.

 

So why bother showing it to you knowing that my real friends and family will be endangered as well?

I know that a deluded man gambled away so much ammo to the vipers that he became a trainwreck.

I swear on my recurring nightmares that any answers to your questions will be used against me.

Truth and justice is a concept invented by people and after all, people do make mistakes.

 

God bless the right to remain silent.

Because even the condemned understand that its value supersedes a vault of gold

That the draconian blackjack dealers steal from the poor that desire to play with them.

Where was Robin Hood when I needed him most?

 

Flash forward to a single year and I’m now twenty-five with an art degree in hand.

I’ve spent all that time studying my ass off and avoiding the vipers that plague my past.

I was with my true friends who never give a shit about your deceit when I realized I never needed you.

Preparing for financial exams under the tutelage of a bright mathematician was like you never existed.

 

So the next time you see me, I won’t grovel on the pavement begging you to take me back.

Instead, I’ll look the other way and French kiss my new admirer in front of you.

Just to let you know that I changed for the better and you missed out on the life we could’ve had.

I am fortunate to understand that your absence last summer turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

I dare you to call me an idiot again!

I dare you to call me a chicken!

I dare you to say that I’m going down

While you hide behind the blackjack dealers that love you for show!

 

There’s always someone out there willing to give you a taste of your own medicine anyway.

How did it feel when even Discordia didn’t want anything to do with you?

Was it salty and sour like your attitude and your deceit?

Cavities caused by the consumption of these candies are a pain for dentists to fill.

 

And just like that, you disappeared from the face of the Earth again. Hopefully, for good this time.

You can erase your identity from the world, but you cannot erase the marks your venom left behind.

You may still be on my mind from time to time, but I don’t see you in a virtuous light anymore.

You are nothing but a fable.

Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

Miss your smiles

 

 

                              miss your smiles                              

 

you both were the lite of my life and i chrished every moment to start 

your love matched your compassionate and oh so  gentle caring heart

and i think I would give up all I holds dear and walk a thousand miles 

just to see your shining smile light up the room god I do miss your smile 

you made me see the beauty in life just by being you and giving me your love

sometimes i can feel the vsadness in my soul when think about you in heaven above

and sometimes i feel  pride in my heart when i tell storys about both of you

but mostly I know that i was the luckiest daughter in the world smiling all the while

and how I wish incould talk to you once more to tell you that i miss your smile 

your smile and joy went a long way in making me feel like a happy and blessed daughter

and the memories of you both I will  hold close to myself that will always matter

 to see you again would mean more joy then i have ever felt and will never go out of style

but as I looks up to the heavens above i whisper i love you both and i sure do miss your smiles.

           Zoey cup

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this one for my parents who are in heaven above I sure do miss them!!!

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Miss your smiles

 

 

                                            

 

you both were the lite of his life and he chrished every moment he had

your beauty matched your compassionate and oh so  gentle caring dad 

and i think your dad would give up all he holds dear and walk a thousand miles 

just to see your shining smile light up the room god he does miss your smile 

you made him see the beauty in life just by being you and giving him your love

sometimes i can see the sadness in his eyes when he talks about you in heaven above

and sometimes i see pride in there depths when he tells me storys about both of you

but mostly he tells me that he was the luckyest father who ever lived smiling all the while

and how he wishes he could talk to you once more to tell you that he misses your smile 

your smile and joy went a long way in making him feel like a happy and blessed father

and the memories of you both he holds close to himself that will always matter

 to see you again would mean more joy then he has ever felt and will never go out of style

but as he looks up to the heavens above he whispers i love you both and i sure do miss your smiles.

 Becky Chadbourne.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just a poem I wrote for my husbands two daughters who died in a drunk driving accident three years ago before we met

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laughing

   Are you able to see to ? Most everyone else could.

 Is it real ? Yes !! Does it hurt? Yes !! Can it see you? Yes !! 

What I can say..all I could tell you is ... wonder will save you !!!

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tags:

Mysterious Smile

She sits at the corner,


Next to the window,


Whenever I look at her,


Her cheeks glow!


 

The glow does appear,


Because of her superb smile,


The smile that removes fear,


And spreads love worthwhile!



Her smile is magic!

 

Seeing it I feel ecstatic!

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tags:

Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone