Suffering

The Perfect Ones

Folder: 
Poems.

Be wary of the perfect ones. The ones everyone likes, whose enemies consist only of narcissists, they know how to blend. Be wary of your affection for them, as they draw it out of you with their perfect skin. Be watchful upon where their eyes trace, as they laugh and sing, and cry and shake. Their traps are skillfull, unnoticed and strong. They draw you in, like a perfect little pawn. They paint it with comfort and a warm embrace, only to find yourself alone in this place. The wonderment smashes upon you, how did it end up like this? With nothing to go on, you're lost in an abyss. Emotion, the pain, you feel it to your core. Your love for them, unreciprocated, leaves you with a desire to want more. But as the pawn wears out, they toss you aside, to find another, after cutting their ties. Intricate, the game, these perfect ones play. Complex, the emotions, you struggle to remain at bay. With a screw in your head, that they've placed inside, life feels empty when they vanish on high.

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And If My Soul Is Crying

It’s happening again,

Such unbearable pain,

And if my soul is crying

As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…

 

I’ve let so many people down,

Lost so many beautiful opportunities,

I feel so failed and forlorn,

But is that really such a tragedy?

 

Perhaps, rather,

It’s a positive thing,

Shouldn’t a true artist be suffering?

At least I’m feeling something…

 

It’s happening again,

Such unbearable pain,

And if my soul is crying

As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…


 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

'And If My Soul is Crying' was penned during an episode of almost unbearable abyssal sadness, although precisely when it occurred I cannot say other than it was in 2015.

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The Odyssey

Folder: 
Love

Every tear I cried helped you sail farther away

Every breath I sighed filled your wings to fly

You mastered the wind and waves to leave me

You cried as the storms only pushed you along

 

And then You, that magnetizing, gravitating whirpool

Leading men down to watery graves

Pulling the breath from many men's lips

And crushing them in your depths

 

It was difficult for me to lose you

I heard your siren's call

But I stuffed my ears and tied myself up

I knew you had nothing but death

 

Lastly to you, I won't say that there isn't beauty in your suffering

Only that those of us who can see it are pretty messed up

Trying desperately to find a silver lining in a thundercloud

A refreshing sea-breeze in a hurricane

 

Like the aurora borealis

Or the spritely fox-fire

You're a natural mystery

Filled with hidden meanings

 

My muses

My fates

My inspirations

I gave you my all

And you all left me wanting

Written In Your Scars

Folder: 
Withered Roses

Each drop removes your kisses,
Such your tears drowns in vain,
From my lips tastes are even bitter,
Like a thunder you struck my breath,
With your eyes you've led me in your traps,
Like a shadow swallowed by daylight.

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tags:

A Humming Voice Of Death

Folder: 
Withered Roses

She was hurt from her past,
Broken from down below
Such her strength was lost,
Pulling those strings in her chest,
She gave away all her joy,
Tears escaped her eyes,
Her smiles dusted away,
Her hair rose sharply,
She sighs and a shadow took over,
From a high hill she jumped,
The valley of death escorted her,
From such horror she witnessed A humming voice from death himself,
Such her beauty decolorised,
Her breath faded and,
A humming voice ulcerated.

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tags:

Twisted Hearts

Folder: 
Withered Roses

A memory cast in pieces of hatred,
A heart indwells in mud of sins,
The twisted covers the truth with their smiles,
Slaughtering hearts of beloveds,
Shedding blood sinking right in their wickedness,
Their hatred eyes craving for downfalls,
To swallow our precious hearts,
From depths of their hearts,
Our bloodstream was never forgotten,
But the He sustains the
Righteousness.

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tags:

A Dirty Handkerchief

Folder: 
Withered Roses

Her heart was dabble in a pool of love,
Her happiness came and died,
Her sorrows wondered,
Waking all her enemies from death,
There ancient kiss was slained,
Her heart smelled like a piece of cloth,
Like a handkerchief stirred in mud of sins,
Her broken past still breath unto her soul,
A smile she lost,
A lover she failed,
Tears comes oh! waterfalls,
Fear clouds within her eyes, 
Oh! Sweet heaven,
An anger she now posses,
It belts her wrist attracting all bad omens,
Her heart was torn
Such nothing could replace it....

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tags:

Love Never Goes Away

I think about you every day,

these memories never seem

to go away,

 

I know its you who I love the most,

 

I'm going to have to live with these

feelings for the rest of my life

 

Always worrying about what happened

to you; if I caused you to suffer.

 

Wondering if you ever think about me in

the way I think about you

 

I hope you live a good life,

I wish I could tell you that I love you

but I'll never get to see you again anyways

 

I wrote this poem, only for you and no one else,

because your the only one that I love deep down

 

I've had dreams about you that we meet again,

when I see people that look like you, I immediately think of you,

it causes me much pain.

 

These feelings are never going away,

always in my heart will you remain

 

Life is not fair

and often denies you what you want most

 

You are always reminded of your failures

you can never escape your past

 

Love will imprison you for life,

but I would not have it any other way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The one who I really love. My true love. I don't usually write often about this subject, because I keep it deep within. Its hard to talk about.

 

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Obsidian (Full Poem)

Taking hold of the chains,

dragging the weights

through the perlious

perdition, seeing no end

to the plight, obsidian shards

piercing the hooves, blood

leaving its mark on the wasted 

land, as the light of an uncertain day

fades dusk takes its place,

the heat of a long night beginning to set in,

with no moon or stars to lead the way

out of this labyrinth of thorns;

 

Complete mutilation, flesh stripped off the naked

form; trudging, step after step, nothing but the fear

of never seeing her again, the will shocks the system,

adrenaline secreted: sweat raining down on whats left,

open wounds filled up with a concoction of bodily fluids

 

Arriving at a junction, the clime molts its condition,

steam concealing the ravaged expanse; lungs 

filled with hot air, eyes showing their tears at last,

gaping pits of perfused lye; tempting just to plunge

in and bathe one last time, boiling like an egg, outer

shell dissolving, the soft vitals boyant in the solution,

pulling off the trigger and continuing  the balacing act,

restrained steps, slowly, tedious fear works it way down

the spine, cannot avoid letting go of the pain, too much to bear,

losing control, slipping , too hard, letting go, toss myself like

a stone, ripples, then sinking to the bottom of the hole, burning

 and exponentially blistering, one last gasp, a scream, then forever

asleep.

 

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