joy

Building Windmills

Folder: 
Just For Fun

I wish that I could build windmills

In the vast and empty space between my ears

Maybe they would power my imagination

And feed my hopes and fears

I wish that I could plow the fields of my mind

And raise a bountiful crop

With lands and lands of growing ideas

Over hills and valleys until they drop

Into ravines and torrents of inspiration

Flowing through my very veins

Gushing, splashing onto paper

Roaring like oncoming trains

And blasting speedily through my write-block

Then coming steadily through my head

So I can be happy with my efforts

AND FINALLY, I CAN GO TO BED!

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Hide my Heart

Hide My Heart

 

You're coming up

Too often in my thoughts

The welcome remembrance

The spark of your voice

The fact that I get a thrill

When from you I read

Slowly I'm yielding

Gently, I'm slipping

 

It's time to hide my heart

I refuse to get hurt

You've not come out

To declare that I'm yours

 

So I refuse

To slowly reserve

Myself for you

That, you don't deserve

 

I'm hiding my heart

With all diligence

Issues of my life

Require no negligence

So yes, with all might

I'm hiding my heart

 

 

 

 

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THIS MAN?

 

 

 

                              THIS MAN?

 

 

 

 

This is plainly unusual, a small trip to hold you on…still a true story…

Let no make it sad or happy but unusual, this is the word to start a revolution, I like it, I like to say…I should I say I dare to say?!

 

The music was pretty exotic at the time, a bit like me, a bit like the way I looks at the time, outer space they would says, I would disagree for the sake of it, and say with modesty, I was only be true to myself…. hehehhe…

 

Alcoholic brevages, alcohol smell, alcohol friends, alcohol everything, I would say…again, I know…shuttttttttt…

 

But here it was my only friend, or I should I say, a friend which was pretty much there at the time!

We were wondering the street, and find ourselves into this man house, more alcohol, more despair, more intellectual violence’s, god we love it!

 

The records was playing in the background, we thought we knew it all, my sweet friends did don’t we? Bless the innocence I say we were at least maybe naïve, but unspoiled!

What seems at the time, an old man, who had the time was a very good host, how should I say, a good punter, as we felt if we could save on life and eat someone else life we would save ourselves from the devil of this earth, I think?

 

I should leave the details off, by now and get to the juicy stuffs, I can hear you saying, or is it again this voices in my head, patience, I say, the ones who know who to wait, shall be reward, the lord spoke!

 

We are in 1988 I think, my memoirs ain’t this good this day…1988, I still wonder if I love you or hate you, I sure have a lot to speak about it…christelle, somehow you come to my mind again, as time grip my mind…

But I shall reserve you the best place of this story, be patient, I know, I recognised your call…I shall be there soon, time is only illusion…remember?

 

Have you ever been in bed with an abuser?

Do you know the touch of his flesh against yours?

The smell who fill the room?

The fear of your mind leaving you forever at the time?

Doesn’t it feel so warm today, when at the time it felt like death?

Maybe we were to feel this extreme, to feel alive, maybe we are already death, I like to think sometimes!

 

I like to think tonight of a shooting star, dead before the eyes of the human fellow could see it, I like this, it make it so easy to bare…the weight of it all, must be as heavy?

Do I have to say more? Wouldn’t be funny if it happen again, surely not!

Somehow the scenario repeated himself, the twisted of life I like to think, or maybe the sense of humour of the man without a face….

 

I can honestly, I forgive, I forget my human fellow, and in the process forgive my sins!

 

As long as I kown someone will find comfort to this words, I have find my destiny, I shall walk bare feet’s to my graves, naked, I shall embrace his grace, and please if you are listening, with no fear, I shall push the doors of the unknown…I am so ready for you, my sweet child.

 

This they could never robbed me, the innocence of the child is never lost, and the dying flesh should perish with him…

 

Therefore like the last days of summer, my story for tonight should end with melancholy…

Was I lying to myself, or fearing the unknown? Are they any justification for it? I shall leave it to him…

Many years have past, many pains and sorrow have flourish since, and joy and hope have won over it after all…

 

Maybe stories do finish well after all, maybe I just have not understand the end of it yet, or choose not too…doe it really matter, apart from the fact that in the end, I feel so alive as I type this words….?

I say not really.

 

 

                                          HERVE NAUDET DIT MARGOT.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

why not? the true is so sensual

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I Am Never Alone

You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.

You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.


Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.

Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.

 

It should’ve been the other way around.

In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,

 

It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.

I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.

 

Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.

That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.

 

I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.

I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.

 

I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.

You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.

 

You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.

You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.

 

You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.

You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.

 

All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.

You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.

 

How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I could let you know when you get it to turn on.

But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?

Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.

 

You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”

It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.

 

Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.

Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?

 

If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.

The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.

 

You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.

But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,

 

I realize that I am never alone.

They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.

 

One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.

What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.

Beating Heart Part 2

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Beating Heart Part 2

Verse 1:

I can feel your heartbeat

Whenever you are with me.

Little did I know

That this would be

My first and last love.

You’re everything I need and want.

 

Chorus:
Even if I fall in love

With somebody else,

You’re my everything.

No one else compares.

It just won’t work out

As much as we love each other.

‘Cause this beating heart

Is your’s to keep.

 

Verse 2:

I get tired of waiting.

We both met when

We were young.

It felt right.

Everything fell into place.

‘Cause this is our love story.

 

Bridge:
When I first met you,

I felt like I knew you.

It was so natural

For both of us

To be together.

Don’t let me go

‘Cause this beating heart

Belongs to only you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Forgot who I wrote this for. Written a few months back.

Sing Sing

Folder: 
Positive Thought

*

On a branch

outside Sing Sing

trying to cheer her

favorite prisoner

a bird sings

 

saiom shriver

 

Footnote: Sing Sing is a NY State prison, located in Ossining New York

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Revelation (Work in Progress)

My Revelation

As I sit here typing, it cannot be more clear that for the first time in four years, I have become aware of my disassociation. This life felt unreal, it had lost all appeal. I was left yearning to be full and my anxiety, had taken over. 

I no longer cut my and carve my skin, and I consider that a win, for my life was feeling so bleak. I have eaten my emotions for the last time, it is my time to rise, I refuse to continue being weak. 

No more crying, no more excuses, the time for action is now. My loathing for existance will be drown out, and I will finally find bliss. Soon, the love of my life shall feel an altar kiss. 

This woman shine bright, much brighter than the sea. She has bright eyes and a brighter smile, she is loving and completely wild. Her red hair is long and free. She has my heart, all my love, and with her I will always be.

This woman has saved my life, she has brought me a burning light and chased away my demons. So on that day I will be grateful, I will be honest and true. The day that will be my best, is the day I say, "I do."

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Work In progress. But it's from the heart.

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tags:

Tell Me a Story

Tell me a story

I've never heard before

Of faraway lands

And long-distant shores

Of knights and their honor

Of sweet maidens fair

Exercise your eloquence

To transport me there

 

Tell me a story

Of love won and lost

Of heroes unwavering

No matter the cost

Sing me a lullaby

Of joy and regret

And maybe, just maybe

I'll learn to forget

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The Bouttonniere and Corsage

Folder: 
Poems

I'm walking by a place,

A place that has lost its reason to walk by.

Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.

I do recall the times i was here,

the joy and cause I had to visit here.

But its not those reasons that make me low.

Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.

It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.

The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been

The smiles that could have been.

 

Now instead I walk falsely,

to make light of what weighs heavy.

To make light of what weighs heavy.

I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,

work a little harder; work a little too hard.

Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,

Smile a little too much.

To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.