Stronger

Nothing but a Fable

Happily ever after doesn’t exist.

Not when people like you also exist.

I bought myself a new suit of armor so you don’t drive another knife in my back.

I told the vendor to hold the stallion because human legs were never for aesthetic purposes.

 

I wanted to walk the face of the Earth with you using my own.

We would’ve walked more than a thousand miles together to chase the sun and avoid the night.

And I never needed to worry about my tired legs.

They built up a tolerance from walking in the coastal sand and helping me keep up with dirty dishes.

 

I told you about my demons and how quickly I am to care when I’m shown an act of kindness.

Mother always lectured me that no matter how small they may be, they are never in vain.

But there is such a thing as being too kind. There is such a thing as temptation.

The best of us cave in once, twice, or maybe more than that when we write in our diaries.

 

You were like such a book to me and I trusted you, but never did I expect that you’d defile my soul

By persuading me to partake in activities that I would never in my right mind do.

I should have recalled the fable of a girl who trusted a poltergeist that haunted a similar diary.

Had I not flee the moment I saw your true character, I would have joined her in death.

 

Looking back, I understand that diaries are the keys to starting fires and turning innocents into fugitives.

You can try with all your might to pry my mouth open to get me to spill any more beans

But my lips are staying sealed because I know who you really are and I finally learned my lesson.

You never exposed me. You only leaked a chapter that was part of a book you never read.

 

So why bother showing it to you knowing that my real friends and family will be endangered as well?

I know that a deluded man gambled away so much ammo to the vipers that he became a trainwreck.

I swear on my recurring nightmares that any answers to your questions will be used against me.

Truth and justice is a concept invented by people and after all, people do make mistakes.

 

God bless the right to remain silent.

Because even the condemned understand that its value supersedes a vault of gold

That the draconian blackjack dealers steal from the poor that desire to play with them.

Where was Robin Hood when I needed him most?

 

Flash forward to a single year and I’m now twenty-five with an art degree in hand.

I’ve spent all that time studying my ass off and avoiding the vipers that plague my past.

I was with my true friends who never give a shit about your deceit when I realized I never needed you.

Preparing for financial exams under the tutelage of a bright mathematician was like you never existed.

 

So the next time you see me, I won’t grovel on the pavement begging you to take me back.

Instead, I’ll look the other way and French kiss my new admirer in front of you.

Just to let you know that I changed for the better and you missed out on the life we could’ve had.

I am fortunate to understand that your absence last summer turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

I dare you to call me an idiot again!

I dare you to call me a chicken!

I dare you to say that I’m going down

While you hide behind the blackjack dealers that love you for show!

 

There’s always someone out there willing to give you a taste of your own medicine anyway.

How did it feel when even Discordia didn’t want anything to do with you?

Was it salty and sour like your attitude and your deceit?

Cavities caused by the consumption of these candies are a pain for dentists to fill.

 

And just like that, you disappeared from the face of the Earth again. Hopefully, for good this time.

You can erase your identity from the world, but you cannot erase the marks your venom left behind.

You may still be on my mind from time to time, but I don’t see you in a virtuous light anymore.

You are nothing but a fable.

*The Fight*

October-15-2004 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

I wish i was stronger 
But no matter how hard i try 
My wish list to not igsist just gets longer 
And more and more I'm left alone to cry 
In the late hours of the night 
Deep inside no one sees this pain 
That i try so hard to fight 
The only way to go on is to fill my eyes 
With theses salty tears 
But all i really gain 
A blurred vision when i look to the light

Can God not see 
I'm so tired and sick of feeling so alone 
I guess not because he just lets me be 
And as each day my heart becomes more stone 
More hollow inside 
This path of pain i am meant to follow 
From it i can not hide 
And deeper i go into this evil shadow 
Because no man shows they care 
I just do not want to feel anymore 
I have no strength to fight 
The demons that drag me to the floor 
The pain and hurt inside my heart they try to store

Its trying so hard to make me die 
And some days i wish i would 
I no longer want to try 
Yes i know i still should 
But everyday a piece of me disappears 
And is gone forever 
I try to scream out help to someone 
But it seems like no one hears 
And the light is fading from the sun 
This evil has put a spell on peoples ears 
So no one hears my helping plea 
This evil has made people blind 
So no one can see 
Me try to fight as i try to find 
A way to stop these wounds 
So they no longer bleed 
But the evil tries so hard to make me fail 
On my pain he loves to feed 
I am becoming to week to go on way to pale

But no one will help me with the fight 
So i should just give up and die 
Just disappear fade out of sight 
As i sit alone and powerless 
As i cry 
My soul drifts away 
From my body it once knew 
No longer fighting another day 
My days are bitter darkness 
No longer a happy clear blue sky 
My life's such a mess 
I gave up i try no longer to live 
This evil My soul i give 
I just sit in emptiness 
I wait to die 
I sit and watch my life pass me 
As i hear my last word spoken 
Its loud and clear 
I'm not in any fear 
I'm fine as i can be 
To say good-bye 
The evil keeps my pain as a token 
And i no longer know the word or meaning of Fight.

Copyright

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Stronger than you

I hold you hand, you break free.
I don't understand, don't you want me?
I'm your baby, your little girl.
Daddy, shouldn't I be your entire world?
Who is that woman, daddy I don't understand.
Why would you rather hold her hand.
She looks at you and and then looks at me,
Could she be the one you want and not me?

How could you daddy, it's just not right!
I was supposed to be your little girl, your shining light!
Now you want her and have forgotten about me,
Two can play the same game, you just wait and see.

You ran off with that other woman, leaving mommy alone.
How could you, how could you be so cold!
She cries every night wishing you'll come home.
But I know the truth, your with her now and left us on our own.

How many years has it been that faithful day?
I know not, but I don't care either way...
I live with you and her now, but I hate it here.
She hates me and she uses my fear.

That witch, oh that witch! How I wish you could see,
The horrible ways that she's treating me.
She says she loves me, but that's a lie!
I think she would rather see me die.

She cares about her kids, which I see no problem in
But she taught her kids to hate me, but I won't give in.
This is my best chance for an education that's worth my while,
I can take pain, I think I'll stay for a while.

You don't scare me any more witch, that much is true.
You hurt me in anyway, I'll call child abuse on you.
I know my powers now, I'm not afraid to use them.
Just wait and see, until then

I'll bide my time and wait until you make your move.
I won't back down, I'm stronger than all of you!!!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I made this poem when I was really little, I found it again and revised it. Let me know what you think.