timidity

Dangerous Territory

I’ve been swimming in the deep end lately.

My head is spinning in circles.

My heart had never been so hollow on the inside.

I need to catch my breath before I do anything else stupid.

 

My work of art is an escape from uniformity.

I felt safe with you for the time being.

At the end of the week, you cuddled me

When the sergeant had an off day at work and took it out on me.

 

I let you in like I did when I meet new people.

You were happy for me when I told you I finally found love.

I wanted nothing more than a friend’s reassurance that everything will be okay.

But you in particular were a land mine waiting to explode.

 

It’s dangerous territory where you’re from as a queer.

It’s dangerous territory where I lurk on the web.

It’s dangerous territory to build a world without receiving adequate training.

It’s dangerous territory to make friends with volatile people like you.

 

I can barely read script in Delphi without misinterpreting some if not most of its passages.

My art isn’t like what you’d expect to see in other do-it-yourself or high-profile projects.

The way I write, the way I archive, and the way I distribute information is my strongest suit.

There is no way I can fulfill my goal in life alone without the help of a team that knows its stuff.

 

You didn’t have to sugarcoat your advice to fix my problems

But you didn’t have to pull more than my teeth either.

You spoke to me as if I had to know every damn trick in the book.

You pointed out where I went wrong as if I didn’t already understand it.

 

I would have welcomed your advice if you watched your language.

I would have been more considerate if we joined forces as planned.

But being friendly with you in light of this is just out of question.

You can say that I’m high all you want, but it goes to show that you’re smaller than you think.

 

It’s dangerous territory where you’re from as a queer.

It’s dangerous territory where I lurk on the web.

It’s dangerous territory to build a world without receiving adequate training.

It’s dangerous territory to make friends with volatile people like you.

 

A vagabond told me this morning that I don’t learn much from success

And boy, I sure did learn a lot about your character more than what it takes to be top dog.

I might also let it slip that you exploded in my face because your little rant was all over the place.

In that case, riddle me this, who among the two of us really needs room for improvement?

who am i?

 

when all confidence has left you,

and you feel bereft of love,

forsaken by those who claimed they cared,

that's when i'll fit you like a glove.

 

i'll wait behind your neediness,

and use arrogance, he's my friend,

i'll have you projecting all of me 

onto children, women, and men.

 

that's when i do my finest work,

and all of me i'll bring,

when others up and leave you,

i'll infect you, and do my thing.

 

my presence will be cunning,

my manipulation sly,

i'll have you wrapped around me,

you won't even ask yourself why.

 

the more of you i can consume,

the larger we become,

to contaminate all is what i want,

'cause YOUR pain, to me, is FUN!

 

a fiendish scowling wimp, you see,

a psychopath, my dear,

enjoying all your suffering,

your kidnapper...i'm fear.

 

 

 

 

10:07 AM 6/22/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the only thing to ever fear, is fear itself. ~franklin d. roosevelt~

 

and that's the truth.

 

.

Fear's House Of Mirrors

fear is the king 

 

of a coward's delight,

 

fear rules illusions

 

that cloud all fools' sight,

 

fear wants compliance

 

adoration and praise,

 

fear becomes arrogance

 

when you challenge his gaze,

 

turning the tables around 

 

can be bliss,

 

when I make friends with fear

 

his intentions I twist,

 

fear uses everyone

 

and makes them his slaves,

 

fear turns the souls 

 

of some dead in their graves,

 

fear teases weaknesses 

 

of youth and of old,

 

fear changes hearts of warmth

 

into stone cold,

 

fear is the god 

 

that brings glory to killing,

 

fear is the god 

 

that makes the spineless willing,

 

motivation of many is controlled by fear,

 

due to principles twisted,

 

and virtues unclear,

 

many will use fear,

 

unwilling to see,

 

their fears are controlling them

 

clear as can be,

 

if ever you see one who 

 

worries too much,

 

believe it is fear that is

 

gaining their trust,

 

 

fear is a mirror


when we've lost our way,

 

that tells us "forget love, honey...


I'm your hero...please stay?"

 

misguided people fall into fear's rut,

 

they slip and fall in,


losing touch with their gut,

 

banish your worries


and live in the now,

 

To strongarm your fears,


honeybun, this is how!!

 

 

6:57 PM 6/19/2013 ©

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

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