blood

Lucid dreams

so deep, tripping through
a vault of echoes opened by you.
your love like fine wine
one sip so sweet
my lips could never compete.

 

an open road, a valley
a place to let it all seep in
warm like blood & tender as your skin
heart to heart syncing in.

 

eyes of the moon, tranquilized
swirling like valium
an ocean of consequence, I can barely swim.
which of us took the first dive in?
i'd drown in a thousand currents to stay here, by you
to hold the hand of hope
to gaze into the truth
walking alone on the path of dreams
where maybe in the end we'll meet..

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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Dead Meat

Folder: 
Thoughts

Dead meat,

Is what you eat.

Nothing alive,

It is not wise.

 

I don't know the reason,

But I know the cause.

It is rotten, it is corrupted,

And will drive a man mad.

 

Madness comes from eating brains,

I ain't no cannibal at late.

But eating meat I have to do,

Or certain things I can't see.

 

Blood is very good,

I have no Vampire mood.

But cruel some call,

What I describe at all.

 

My mind going ways,

With meat these days.

Demons, Ghoulies and the rest,

Outsiders are a real pest!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts.

You are dying

1. You are not special because you have a sadness that sleeps within your spine.

You do not require attention.

No one has to love you.

2. Vicodin will not ease your pain. 

It will not bring back your unborn children.

They will not make him un-touch you.

They do not make you more alive.

3. Rum is not a cure for not feeling your body in the morning.

It doesn't make him love you.

It doesn't make your mother care.

4. Sad songs do not make you feel better.

Sad songs aren't a fix for your broken heart.

Do not relate to them.

5. Your therapist is right.

Do not ignore her.

Do not take more pills.

6. Do not sleep with him.

He does not love you.

He can't fix you.

Fix yourself.

7. Do not read old blood stained suicide notes.

They are not beautiful.

Do not be proud.

8. You are not beautiful.

You are dying.

Stop saying his name.

Stop painting his name in red.

9.You are dying.

Stop wishing for him.

You are dying. 

He doesn't love you.

10. You are dying.

Stop fighting the paramedics.

Necrophilia.

Oh, Darling, but it just isn't quite the same.
I speak softly, as I rip off her clothes,
It will be swift, Love, if you would just behave.
All the beauty resides in the cold,
You made made such a fuss, when you were alive,
Now your cold dead lips, they beckon mine,
It's cold now, your whitened flesh,
No movements or sounds, under my gentle caress,
No muscles tense, under my hungry kiss,
The taste almost to sweet, as I lick my lips,
No this simply will not do,
I'll create my own entrance,
Perhaps one, or two,
The metallic shines bright, as the blade pierces your skin,
A groan of pleasure, hn... delectable sin...
And as the crimson line appears,
I cannot help, but be brought to tears,
The beauty is almost too much, I'm ready to blow,
My lovely dead girl, lets start the show,
I sink my member, into your cold flesh,
The warmth of your blood, ah... a warm nest,
Lubricated with blood, I'm ready to fuck,
My hands on your shoulders, I gently slid in,
Into your cold, lifeless cunt,
And in between your ribs,
The pleasure is almost too much to bare,
But Darling I'm not finished just yet,
A few rips, wounds here and there,
Finally, it's time to finish the rest,
Thrusting, shoving, groaning,
The pleasure, the love, the moaning,
No screams of pain, No screams of fear,
No fighting it off, no pouring tears,
The blood, the cold, the heat,
Is just too much, for me,
A strangled moan, and finally, a release.
This is my curse, my hated disease,
Necrophilia, is not a want, but a need.
And as I lay your body down,
I let out, a much more satisfied sound,
Look to your body, covered in red,
Yes my Love, you are much more beautiful,
Dead.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For Logan.

Asphyxiate

 

2 knives, in each side..
2 eyes burning through my heart..
empty fragments, words drifting in & out of the past
memories turn to ash as we sift them around the palms of our hands..
crippled & gone.. time to move on.
to solidify my dreams..
hate myself.. waste of space, waste of air..
I dove into hell.
God please pull me back together, stitch up these ripped seams..

 

you're like the blade dragged across my stomach
or the scorching flame against my bare skin...
I want you out of my life
I want you up from under this skin
demons, demons, I can't let you win..
for I am not your kin...

 

everthing I want, I cannot have.
all that I reach for, I cannot grab..
the rainest of days bring me back to visions i've attempted to smudge out with you..
I guess it was easier on the other end.
but who's to say where & when...

 

covered in blood, pushed into the mud, I will stand up again.
open scars, out of breath, I must remain relentless.
shadows chasing me, run run, but they consumed all the light..
crouched in fright, nails dug into my back
they're trying to pin down these wings...
hoping i'll never take flight.
using all my energy to break away, fight them off with all my might, all my will...
but they keep whispering "kill... kill.."

 

legion, you've defiled me,
for you are the fallen, in unity.
this cross lays heavy on my back..
I think i'm starting to crack.
my barriers are thin & I wish I could let God in
but there's just one set of footprints in the sand
no savior to hold my hand
freezing cold.
the ocean looks like a black hole..
if I were to set sail, how could I ever return?
i'd be spun around in circles, triangles, squares
what would I learn?

 

even though the sun still shines
even though some of the grass is still green
even though there are plenty of trees
I cant stop looking down.. down on me.
the hail is sharp from this dark cloud.
storm hovers above.
I try to clear it out, but I can't with no love

 

depleted but not empty
awakened in the midst of deep sleep
dead in this life
strife impailed
left hung, waiting to burn..
I never dug my own grave
I only ever cried to be saved.

Supernatural Show Dream: July 27, 2013

WARNING! THIS DREAM IS VERY DISTURBING... READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
 
Okay here is the dream. First off there is this show called: "Supernatural" over here. It is a show about two guys who fight off demons and try to stop the Apocalypse . At least that's what I have gotten from it... I don't really watch it and I have only seen a few episodes... Anyways here goes the dream: 
 
This dream was about the guys from the tv series, "Supernatural". I don't know their names though so I will just say "guys" or guy" or whatever...
 
 It all started when I walked into this warehouse-like room and saw the guys from supernatural. One was all evil looking and the other one was normal and the normal one suddenly ran up to me and picked me up and ran out the door.
 
 But as he was running with me, before we could get out of the door, I looked over and saw the other guy twitching and his eyes were rolling into the back of his head and they were turning black.
 
 I was freaked out. I remember thinking, "Oh my god, this is it, I am going to die!!!"  It was so intense. When he put me down I realized that I was bleeding..down there... I thought that I had started my period and got really embarrassed and apologized to the guy. 
 
Then, the guy said. "No, you are giving birth to Lilith " I freaked out again.
 
 All of a sudden there was blood everywhere coming from me. I know, gross right? Then through out the whole dream I was fighting off demons with the guy and one of the demons wanted to father my baby.
 
 And the whole time we were fighting off demons I was still giving birth.... I was just walking and running around in labor and bleeding everywhere... 
 
We ended up banishing the demon that wanted to be the father of my baby, too... Among other creepy demons... or what ever.
 
 And also, the whole dream I was still giving birth. Let's just say it was very bloody and gross...
 
 I woke up before I even had the baby, or "Lilith" or whatever!!
 
 It was fucking crazy and intense!! I didn't even tell you the whole dream. There was just too much going on in it to tell it all. I woke up feeling so wierded out, lol. Then I went back to sleep and had another dream that I barely remember... And that's it... Crazy, right???
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Abdul Alhazred

Folder: 
Poetry

Alhazred was born in Yemen,

Traveling in the known world;

Amassing lore and legend,

And the tales of the fiends.


 

A writer and a poet,

He was educated much.

Geometry, algebra, Alchemy

And magickal incantations' need.


 

From the cup of occult knowledge

He drank deep...

Driving a normal person

To madness or beyond.


 

Alhazred was once a normal man,

With desires like we all can.

He was Arab by birth,

With a pale skin in rebirth.


Being labeled the mad,

As he was once a dad.

But had to eat his child,

By the King of the Palace's might.


 

He wrote down the Necronomicon,

In more than one song...

The obscure, the forgotten,

The suppressed, the rotten.


Never meant to be read;

It causes insanity with speed.

Not interpreted rationally,

The thoughts cause a rally.


 

Alhazred was insane,

By the lore he learned within.

But he wrote clear,

With many a tear.


 

The state of the Universe,

In reality suspense;

Plaything of mad gods at best,

Sewer of evil in the north, south, east, west.


 

Humans dare not dream of this,

For their peaceful lives they cannot miss.

A warning and guide this book is,

And by the Djinns you do wish.


 

Alhazred died, not a mystery,

It is written in history.

In the marketplace,

He was erased.


By the Demon from beyond,

Who wanted him gone.

Blood upon the sand,

There he was banned.


In broad daylight,

With many a sight.

 

He meddled with evil things,

With beings with wings.

He is now dead,

After he bled...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about the Mad Poet Abdul Alhazred who wrote the Necronomicon.

Tainted

Folder: 
Tainted

Driven snow, pure and untouched

Sprinkled on the grass

The headlights of the distant cars

Cast soft lights as they pass

How beautiful the whiteness is!

How innocent it seems!

For cruel reality has not appeared

To rip apart her dreams

 

Only fate would be so wicked

As to touch the spotless snow

 Only fate would ever dare

To taint the virgin’s glow

Then life paints a crimson stain

That blots the sheet of white

A coat of shame, a blanket of pain

Lies hidden by the night

Tarnished, it is beautiful no longer

 It is admired no more

And so I bow my head and weep

For the loss of something pure

End Me (While I Want It) - May 7, 2012

Worthless, a word with common speak interlaced,

Describes me so well in a fashion so perfect.

I have no meaning, no use, no love or place;

I want to be displaced; from life be erased.

 

So come and end me, come slit my throat;

Come suffocate me, and watch me choke.

Don't hesitate, I wanna prolong this pain;

Have no mercy, just play it like a game.

 

Tie my arms, my feet, restrain and throw me;

Into a tank of boiling tar you'll force me.

Scattered inside are razors so gleaming;

So pleasing is that music of me screaming.

 

Take serrated blades, rip my wrists apart;

Carve out my eyes, like the hopes in my heart.

Drain my blood, drink it like a fucking wine;

So sweet, delicious; it's the end of my time.

 

Rip out my fucking heart and tear it apart,

There's no love left in me to give anyways.

Carve out my chest cavity, it's divine art;

Hollow me, use me like a fucking ashtray.

 

Hold down my hands, tear off my fingernails;

Hang them as bloody ornaments so pleasing.

Screaming agonized joy, my heart now fails;

Just kill me now, this wish so diseasing.

 

So take a hammer, smash in my worthless face;

Stomp on my remains, now but a disgrace.

Digest my flesh, make me part of your soul;

Feel my corpse, touch the walls of my skull.

 

Lock me in a chair, force my eyes open wide,

Make me witness the horrors of real genocide.

My screaming only intensifies this pain;

On the floor is a growing red bloodstain.

 

Take my corpse, throw it in the sea's midst,

With anchors tied tightly to my rotten chest.

Let not one piece or memory of me remain,

So I'll be forgotten and all will be the same.

 

I don't care how, just please end me quickly;

You know, there's a reason for my death plea.

I'm sick of hurting others, sick of being me,

Sick of being the one to cause all the misery.

 

It's not that I would normally wish to die,

But at this point I can now seem to find,

I've brought this unto myself, can't deny,

So please kill me before I change my mind.

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

(This was written purely for entertainment.)