Saved

Cry In My Sleep

 

 I Lost My Ability To Cry
I'm Hurting So Much
I Feel Hurt
I Feel Pain
I Want To Cry
But Theres Not Tears
Theres No Emotions
Hold Me Please


Because I Can't Feel My Arms
I Can't Feel My Legs Anymore
I Feel Like Crying
But I'm Dying In My Sleep
Waking Up With Dried Up Eyes
I Don't Remember Crying
I Don't Remember Sleeping
Chill Runs Through On My Skin


Crying Out In Pain
I Wish I Could Cry
For My Body Can't Take It Anymore
Is This What It Feels Like
Why Must I Feel So Cold
Why Must I Feel So Emotionless
Pieces Of My Heart
Tears In Pieces


I Wish Again
I Could Cry
Just Once More
If I Could Hold You
If I Could Hug You
And Tell You One More Thing
I Just Want To Cry
I Want To Cry On Your Shoulder

 

 

My Angel

My Angel saved my life 

She relinquished all my strife 

The gangs, drugs, hoes galore 

It seemed like every week i was with some whore 

She saw the good in me and took a chance 

Saved my life made me take a different stance 

Helped me beat my internal battle helped me be myself 

Helped me not pursue lust, your love is my everlasting wealth 

Without you I would be in jail on drugs a father or dead 

You saved me from drowning in life's temptations, now I look straight ahead 

And i see you my Angel shining, giving me your arm helping me stay straight 

Helping be myself, the amazing person I am is because of you and it is great 

Together we are unstoppable, you saved me it's all because of you 

You are my Angel, and I love you with every ounce of my heart soul and mind, and that my Angel is true 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

68 days into eternity 

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Somebody's Pain

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel With Tears
But I Can't Understand Your Past
For Shoes Can Walk So Far
I Dont Think I Can Walk This Far
These Bones Ache
This Flesh Is Killing Me
Please Save Me Again
Im Losing It
How Long
Must I Wait
How Long
Must I Feel This Pain


I've Been Waiting A Long Time
I Can't Get Over The Fact
That I'm Still Weak
I'm Broken
And That I Can't Pick Up The Pieces
Especially Not By Myself
I Know I Need Someone To Lean On
I Can't Really Reach Out
And I Don't Feel Like
I Have A Voice In This World
But Honestly
I Don't Really Speak Out
Because I Have
No One To Speak To


I Really Need Someone
Somebody To Talk To
Someone To Lean On
Someon I Can Cry To
Someone I Can Laugh With
Someone I Can Be In Love With
Someone I Can Be Myself With
But In All Of These Times
I Just Feel Too Alone
I'm Just Too Sad

Fucking Lost Again

You Want To Bring Them
Some Sort Of Happiness
But Nothing You Bring
Makes Them Smile At All
Not Even The Slightest Bit


You Wonder What Went Wrong In Your Life
Sometimes You Want Your Life To End
And Sometimes You Don't Know What To Do
But You End Up Moving Foward
Because You Don't Know
What The Else The Fuck To Do


You Don't Have Any Talents
You Don't Have Any Skills
The Dream I've Had
Since I Became A Christian
Hasn't Moved Forward
I Don't Know What To Do
I Don't Know What To Say


I'm Just Lost And I Need To Be Saved Again
And I Need To Feel Lovable, Capable And Worthwhile
I Need To Know I Am Not Alone
I Need To Know I Am Loved Without Strings

 

 

Afraid To Be Alone

Folder: 
Miracles

I've Tried Hide All The Scars
I Left Behind
You Wanted
To Make Me Fresh And New
But I'm Ashamed
I Have Nothing Of No Talent
I Feel I Have Of Nothing Of Use


I Tried Letting It Go
But You Wont Let Me Be
Why Do You Look For Me
When I've Got Nothing
You Cloak Your Cape
And Shower Your Love On Me

These Tears Cannot Express


But I Still Wonder
Why Do You Choose Me
Its Not Your Place
To Follow Me
You Expect Me To Give You Something
But I've Got No Talent
Still I Follow You
Because Of Your Caring Warmth


For Someone Who Has So Much
To Care For Someone Of So Little
Unclenching My Fist
And Opening Up My Soul
Makes Me Exhale My Heart
And Come Forth
With Arms Wide Open


Because Someone Who Cares
Someone Whos There For Me
And Someone Who Knows
Somebody
Who Knows Whats Its Like
Being Afraid To Be Alone

Peace Of Strength

Folder: 
People

Through The Dark Night I See Smoke
And In The Day I See Glistering Mist
But In The Time I Reached Out
I Could Not Feel Your Breath
If You Rise And Fight On
I Will Be There For You


And If You Break Down
I Sweat I Will Catch You
I Swear I Will Be There For You
And Until The Day I Cry
I Will Not Give Into The Dark
Never Will I Give Up On Your Smile
Never Will I Say
I Can't Do This Anymore


For What Strenghth I Can't Bring Forth
You Give Me That Inner Peace
I Can't Forget That Ever
You Have Earned A Place In My Heart
Not Because Of What You've Done
Not Because Of What You've Said
But Because Of Who You Are
And What You Mean To Me


And In The End
You Are What Gives Me Strength
You Are The One
Who Keeps Me Moving Forward
You Give Me The Words
When I Have Nothing Else To Say
And When I Was On The Edge Of Giving Up
You Were Always There For Me


Running In Alone

Folder: 
People

Don't Worry About It
I'll Make It By Myself
But I Honestly
I Can't Do This By Myself


Never Surrender
But Don't Give In
I'll Make It Out Alive
I'll Make It Out In One Piece


If I Forget
Then I'm Sorry
Because I Was Lost
I Was Walking In The Dark
And In The Darkness


I Found My Light
I Found You
And When I Found You
Love Engulfed The Darkness
And There Was Only Love Left


I Couldn't Have Done This
Without Your Help
I Would Rather Be With You
Because Honestly
There's No Place I'd Rather Be
I Would Snuggle You
With All Of My Heart


And If There Was Anything
I'd Give Else For This
There Wouldn't Be A Thing
Not a Single Thing
No Amount Of Money
No Amount Of Fame
Can Buy Me
This Peace Of Mind

Jesus, the Cure for the Soul

Like a dull blade to an unprotected heart, the bittersweet thoughts trickle through my mind like an IV injecting its serum to somehow keep me alive. This IV keeps me holding onto life but it doesn't mask the pain, the temptation, the phobia. I try to stay awake before the anistesia overwhelms my soul, keeping me from understanding what is real and what is fiction. Im in the hospital due to an overdose on emotion. I consumed the fleshly desires like pills fresh out of the medicine cabinet until I could take no more. This high was tempting for more, but its presence was only temporary. I suddenly wake up, lying on the floor in confusion and despair, as if my soul and everything in it was thrown in the trash of incomplete dreams. I panic and begin to run down these winding roads searching for the path He has set for me but i forget to read the signs as i rush pass them and then become lost. I suddenly awake in this hospital bed, opening my eyes to reality. I see Him. I see Him 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is something I had written while in a relationship. I was in college, with many worries and experienced an overflow of emotion. I thought the best way to describe how I was feeling was to relate my emotions to a drug overdose, because like an overdose, the emotion I was facing was paralyzing me and killing my soul. The urge to be liked and to go party in the midst of preparing for med school was a tough temptation to overcome. I was cured of this by finding Jesus. I found him in these trials and he let me to the light. That is the message of this story.

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Flow Of The Wind

  Sometimes The Wind Blows
And Sometimes It Stills The Air
I Wonder About It
If The Wind Is Silent
Are We Waiting For Something To Happen


Is There Something
To Look Forward For
Are We Looking For Him Or Her
Or Are We Simply Helpless


Sometimes You Wonder
If Its Still Worth Waiting For
And If The Wait Takes So Long
Do You Think
It Would Have
Been Worth The Wait


Because Sometimes
I'm Heavyhearted
Not Because I Don't Know
But Because Its Hard
Sometimes I Want To Give Up
But I Know I Can't Stop
And If I Fall Down
I Will Get Back Up Again