blood

Narcissism

Pain

Again

Like blood running red

From a bullet in my head

I am my worst enemy

And I just lost a battle with me

See, it’s clear

I am the one thing that I fear

For I can only truly be free

From anything other than me

I want to do good, I know I can

But in the mirror is a man

I don’t recognize

Whom I despise

Because it’s me I’ve idolized

I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I

I’m sick of the lie

That I’ve been handed

That I’ve been branded

That the world revolves around me

It can’t be

Or else I wouldn’t be in this mess

To keep God God, I’ve learned is best

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The Call

I looked out to the ocean
Darkness is all I see
But then the Morning Star
Who died and lives for me
For now the night reigns
But for those who’ve been drawn
Do not give up hope
It’s darkest ‘fore the dawn

Cry out you traitors
Your power fails away
In the glory
Of my King’s face
Come back you rebels
Your Father loves you still
And sent His only Son
To bring life you don’t deserve

But be warned
Your cause will not prevail
For nothing can stand against my Lord
All your schemes will fail
Because He loves you
He has prepared a way
To escape His Holy judgment
And live with Him always

Come to the light my brothers
He’s paid the price for you
To give you freedom
But the chosen are few
Can’t you see the battle
That’s waged for your soul
You’re on the losing side
Your “prince” will eat you whole

Listen to this rally
To save yourselves
To give you life
To save your soul from Hell

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Beautiful the Blood

I thought he was a teacher
A prophet some would say
Or a great man of his time
But these I throw away
For if He’s not who he said
He was a liar or a madman
But I know He is God

 

And this was always part of the plan

But we did not understand
Through our blindness could not see
Through our deafness could not hear
God, this man could not be!
 

And so he was condemned
Though He never did a wrong
And we hung Him on a cross
A pole to sky was long

And like the snake of Moses
Between Heav’n and Earth his weals
Were lifted above the people
That their sins would heal
 

How beautiful the blood
That fell to the ground
How freeing were the thorns
That pierced His noble brow
How unrecognizable the face
Of my great King
Who for the love of us
Gave everything

 

He died that very day
And I buried Him in the ground
I thought it all was over
Then an empty grave we found
He lives forevermore!
He died and rose for me!
And all so I could be
Restored to His family

 

Now I cannot stop
From saying what I’ve seen
That I saw my Savior die
To rise as my King!
Now whether it is right
To believe you or God
I will tell everyone
Both here and abroad.

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Two weeks to deadline

Two weeks to dead line

Two week dead line as I sit on the 18 foot roof
As I sit there with feet shins and legs paining
Hands so sore I couldn`t pick up my hot cup of joe that morning at the crack of dawn
feelin like shit but yet such a amazing feeling That I could fly of that roof
I didn`t back down
I didn`t quit
I didn`t Give up
If you were to ask me two weeks ago ``What are you going to build``
I would have said `` a garage``
But Still as I sit on the roof On the hot layed metal I put blood And sweat into hours ago
I didn`t just build a garage
I build
I pushed
I bled
myself
I`m just a little bit stronger
Just a bit more prouder
and as I climb down the shitty ladder scared to set a cup of coffee
Without it braking
I realize I have to build Myself up
Build it just a little bit stronger
Everyday We work
Either hard labor
Or hard metal labor
Barely abell to take off my nail bag
With A smile on my face
A new chapter Open In my life
I get in the old halftun truck
and drive away as the sunsets
I know I did my best
I know I'll rest good tonight

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My two weeks

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Breathe Blood

Breathe Blood when it's in your skin.
Breathe Blood when it's out of it.

Breathe Blood when it's innocent.
No longer in your skin.

A razor will bring it out of it.

Yes, a lovely, gorgeous, delectable razor will do it all.
I know it may be wrong.

But the feeling is just so strong.
And it doesn't take too long.

I'll cut deep,
And I'll cut a stream.

To Bleed is to go deep.

I've fallen to the floor,
There is blood galore.

I'm bleeding and drowning
I'm drowning and counting

How many seconds I have until I'm dead.
And drowning in what's left.

Breathe Blood when your inhaling it

Breathe Blood when it's in your head

Breathe Blood when it's in your lungs.

Breathe Blood Until you're done.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is another horrible, ugly, deathly, and brutal little poem, I think it's so cute though. But very unpleasant. Again, I'm not suicidal. I just like writing ugly little deathly poems like this, about it.

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Selective Suicide

A Gun or a Rope
Some Pills or to Choke

I'll Cut Deep With a Knife
Until I Bleed Out and Die

Overdose will be considered at most.

Pills and Alcohol
May solve it all

I Want to choke,
But I need a rope

Just put a fucking gun to my head,
Let's end it, that's what I said.

A Beautiful ending
To my life Descending.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is an ugly little poem about suicide. I wrote it in the mind of someone suicidal. I am not not suicidal. I just like writhing deathly little ugly poems like this.

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WORST NIGHTMARE EVER

OK, here was my nightmare:



I was in this house that had a basement and in the basement were stairs that led to an attic like place. The basment was haunted and so scary. I was terrified to even be next to the basement door. I followed this old lady down into the basment and up these stairs into the attic. There was a living room there with two couches and two chairs. I sat up there with the old lady and all of a sudden I felt a cut on my cheek and instead of the blood running down my cheek it ran up my cheek and the old lady was like "Oh they got you too, it happens to me all the time."


Then my mom and three other old people came up there with us and sat down. They said they wanted to play a game and they all pulled out guns and started shooting eachother. Then this HUGE black dude came upstairs with a GIANT ax and chopped the old dude sitting in the chair next to me in half! I screamed and ran out this door which lead to this hill outside.


As I ran out there were tons of people following me, running in fear too. Jeff was there as well. I finally went back to the basement and discovered that my mom was missing an arm and it was all bloody as hell. There were nurses there and they were making us stick out hands in this jar-like thing full of bullet ants. It hurt but they said it was for our own good. When we got back into the house I walked into the bed room and discovered Jeff in bed with a 15 year old. He said he had been cheating on me with her for 6 months. I started to cry and beg to him telling him that I loved him so much no matter what he did. And he got pissed and this teenager, who was his friend in my dream, started telling him that I was a bitch and he should kill me.


Then there was gun fire coming from everywhere and everyone started running and I could see Jeff and that teenager coming after me with a gun. Then Jeff shot me in the back. I finally got away from him and met this woman who took me to this other woman's house where she said she could fix my wound. So she did but I was still scared shitless.


Then all of a sudden all those people came into the house and were still running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I saw Jeff and the teenager and hid under these stairs, my heart was pounding. Then Jeff and the teenager saw me and Jeff poitned the gun right at me and I kept saying "why are you doing this? I love you so much please don't do this!" Then he shot me in the head and I fell to the floor but I was still alive. I played dead untill he was gone, or so I thought. When I got up he saw me and ran towards me and held the gun to my face. I broke down. And cried and cried and cried, and begged for my life and I kept telling him "I love you, please don't kill me, I Love You.".Then there was a struggle. Then I hear "BANG!!!" That's when I woke up.


It all seemed so real too. I never want to have that dream ever again!


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This I Ask

Make me a torch
Set me aflame
Like you did to those before me
A burning fire,
Bright and hot
That cannot be ignored
Use me as a light
To shine on the dark
Use me as salt
To attract those who are hungry
Make me a preserver
To uphold the human soul
Use me as Your mouth-piece
The still, small voice
That draws them to You
Those unforgettable words
That shakes the soul
Use me as Your hands
To heal the broken,
To comfort those who mourn
To give them beauty for their ashes
And joy instead of sorrow
To rebuild the ruin, the devastations,
And destructions of the past
Use me as Your feet
I’ll go where you send me
For “I am here; send me!”
Lord, use me as a servant
To teach through what I do
Not just from what I say
To “Harvest, for the time is ripe”
To serve others, and not myself
Father, show me to be Your son
Your blood washes over me
Show this to them
That they can see
That they can hear
That they can shout
What You have done for me
That they can know
That they can understand
That they can be loved too
And that is only from You

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I Am Your Razor

Folder: 
Emotional Poems

You bolt into the bathroom
To slash your wrist
You search for me
I can't be missed

Tears fall
You stand
I brush your skin
I take you to a land so fine, yet dangerous

Silver blade that twinkles so bright
Scarlet blood that feels so right

I will save you
I will destroy you
I will love killing you
I will give you life

But it is all up to you
To throw me one the ground
And walk away

There clearly is a better way

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem isn't quite finished yet, it still needs to be edited

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